6: Miranda Lambert sings like she looks and sounds like she talks.
Yeah, try to decipher that logic, would ya?
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6: I wish I could sing as good as Gotye, because then I’d win thousands of dollars. And it would be all from ME.
I like this whole, trying to earn money for the family thought process he has going on. But I’m thinking he’s going to have to find a different way to win money. Singing isn’t gonna do it, unfortunately.
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6: I get to bring my art project home.
Me: I can’t wait to see it. What’s it of?
6: Well, I was going to do a kid for me, but instead I did a queen . . . for you.
How flipping sweet is that kid?
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3: (Looking at my wedding album) Is this you when you got married?
Me: Yes, it is.
3: I know why you got married.
Me: Oh yeah, why?
3: Cuz everyone thought you were a princess!
How did I somehow convince my kids that I am royalty, and how can I continue this obviously accurate opinion of me?
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3: Babies don’t like daddies.
Me: Why?
3: Because they think they are dangerous.
Me: Why do they think that?
3: Because they do!
6: Oooh, I know . . . because they are big and scary and have beards and mustaches.
3: Babies only like mommies! (big hug).
This coming from two boys who 9 out of 10 want to hang out with DADDY and have him put them to bed. Huh.
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My 6 year old son has a girlfriend. He has recently revealed this information to us. He was looking at his class picture from this year . . .
6: Look, girlfriend and boyfriend sitting together. And that’s her 3rd boyfriend sitting beside me.
Me: (Wait, what?) She has 3 boyfriends? (little whore!)
6: Yeah, but I’m her first.
Me: Do you have 3 girlfriends?
6: No, just 2.
Me: (Oh, well that’s a relief!) Who’s the other one?
6: (Names a girl who lives across the street from us . . . a sixth grader!)
Me: Does she know this?
6: No.
Me: Does (first girlfriend) know this?
6: Um . . . no.
3: YOU 2 ARE MARRIED!
6: No, not yet.
Oh god, I’m not ready for wedding planning yet. Can we wait until 5th grade, at least? Thanks.
A bit later on, but following this convo . . .
6: I really want to kiss her!
Me: No kissing. You are too young for kissing. You can only hug her.
6: But I kiss you!
Me: You can kiss your parents . . . not your girlfriend.
In which I scar my son for life. This is the moment I will look back on when he is 40 and still living in my basement. Yikes!
Apr 18, 2012 @ 11:41:48
Ahahahahahahaha!!!!! Somehow most kids avoid any long term counseling, despite our best attempts!
Love this!
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:15:24
Thanks! And really, every kid’s gotta have something to blame their parents for in warping them in childhood, right? I feel it is my duty to give him proper ammunition!
Apr 18, 2012 @ 12:22:38
“and that’s her 3rd boyfriend, sitting beside me.”
I laughed my butt off over that. Love!
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:16:15
I know. That one totally threw me when he said it as well. Love the unintentional humor that comes out of his mouth!!
Apr 18, 2012 @ 12:25:31
What am I doing wrong? Why don’t have 3 boyfriends?
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:17:08
Oh Thoughtsy . . . I don’t think you really want to do the things that are required to be the kind of girl who has 3 boyfriends, n’est pas?
Apr 18, 2012 @ 12:27:35
they are adorable!
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:17:28
Thanks!!
Apr 18, 2012 @ 13:16:53
Awww, that is super sweet!
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:17:44
Thanks, Jana.
Apr 18, 2012 @ 14:11:50
hahaha I’m gathering that your son really can’t sing – I think this is the second time I’ve seen you mention it. Hilarious!
You are definitely royalty. Hopefully not royalty with kids in the basement in 30 years.
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:19:45
Yeah, unfortunately his singing talents were inherited from his mother. Neither of us will ever win any singing competitions.
I think I would feel much less like a princess/queen with a kid having me do his laundry at 40.
Apr 18, 2012 @ 14:44:49
My son informed me that he’s going to marry a boy someday so they can both take care of me. Gay son for the win, y’all!
Apr 22, 2012 @ 10:04:40
LMAOOO
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:34:15
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:20:17
Every mother’s dream!!! You are so lucky . . .
Apr 18, 2012 @ 15:04:29
I love your Convos with the Kiddies! 6 is lucky he’s the oldest. When my brother was 5 and had his little girlfriend, my sister and I had a mock wedding for them out in the church playground. For years we thought they were really married.
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:21:20
Ha! That is adorable. And I’m sure my youngest is in for it once he is old enough to get his own girlfriend . . . or 3.
Apr 18, 2012 @ 15:46:24
Your kids are adorable, but you’re going to have to rein the little pimp daddy in a bit. There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:22:26
I know . . . and it’s not like we live in Utah or anything.
Apr 18, 2012 @ 15:46:31
Love these! Can I refer my 14 year old to you for advice on dating a girl he has bevr met who lives in Georia…we live in NY. I guess the kissing is not a concern!
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:23:42
Sure, send him on over. I am obviously doing a bang up job of raising my little polygamist.
At least you don’t have to worry about the physical part all those states away. Bright side!!
Apr 18, 2012 @ 17:26:36
ADORABLE. I love it!!!!
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:24:05
Thanks, Jo!
Apr 18, 2012 @ 18:22:21
“I do what I want. Sometimes. Occasionally” is one of my son’s favorite sayings.
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:24:51
Ha! That’s a great one. I may have to steal it for my own . . .
Apr 18, 2012 @ 18:25:30
Little bit of a “Junior Big Love” going on at the school there.
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:26:36
We are the Utah of the neighborhood, apparently.
Apr 18, 2012 @ 23:31:14
I’ve managed to get this far without having the whole “kissing families vs. kissing girlfriends” discussion. Although I remember Oldest in 4th grade:
Him: “I have a girlfriend.”
Me: “Oh, good. What’s her name?”
Him: “I don’t think we’ve gone too far yet.”
Me: (trying not to drive through the golf course and into the duck pond) “Well, have you kissed?”
Him: “No.”
Me: “Held hands?”
Him: “No.”
Me: “What HAVE you done??”
Him: “Mostly we play tetherball at lunch.”
Enjoy this age, they only get more amusing as they get older!
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:28:10
Tetherball??? And, and . . . you allowed them to do that kind of dirty activity? Unsupervised even? Man, you are a laid back mom!
Apr 19, 2012 @ 09:05:21
It always pays to have a back up plan, Or a back up girlfriend!
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:28:44
Words to live by.
Apr 19, 2012 @ 10:28:20
Does he have an opinion on how many boyfriends is too many?
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:29:52
What is this “too many” that you speak of? Although, one day, I am sure he will learn the meaning. I don’t imagine it will go well . . .
Apr 19, 2012 @ 13:39:04
Makes me want to have boys.
My uterus and future stretch marks thank you.
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:31:36
You’re welcome!! I’m glad the adorable nature of my boys is prompting you to get busy with the baby making!
Feel free to name your boy after me as thanks . . . a boy named Misty has a certain ring to it, no?
Apr 20, 2012 @ 08:00:26
Hahhaah your kids are hilarious. And three boyfriends? 2 gfs? What kind of crazy polygamist lifestyle are these kids living?!?
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:32:09
I know, if this keeps up, I’m gonna have to make them wear magic underwear.
Apr 22, 2012 @ 13:12:41
I’m intrigued by the open relationships that are taking place in elementary school. Perhaps this is just the beginning of a wave of free thinking that generation will provide us, but only if they manage to launch from their parent’s basements.
Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:35:13
A new generation of hippies, perhaps?
And no . . . no living in my basement, ya freeloaders! Get a job, you bums.