6: Miranda Lambert sings like she looks and sounds like she talks.
Yeah, try to decipher that logic, would ya?
6: I wish I could sing as good as Gotye, because then I’d win thousands of dollars. And it would be all from ME.
I like this whole, trying to earn money for the family thought process he has going on. But I’m thinking he’s going to have to find a different way to win money. Singing isn’t gonna do it, unfortunately.
6: I get to bring my art project home.
Me: I can’t wait to see it. What’s it of?
6: Well, I was going to do a kid for me, but instead I did a queen . . . for you.
How flipping sweet is that kid?
3: (Looking at my wedding album) Is this you when you got married?
Me: Yes, it is.
3: I know why you got married.
Me: Oh yeah, why?
3: Cuz everyone thought you were a princess!
How did I somehow convince my kids that I am royalty, and how can I continue this obviously accurate opinion of me?
3: Babies don’t like daddies.
3: Because they think they are dangerous.
Me: Why do they think that?
3: Because they do!
6: Oooh, I know . . . because they are big and scary and have beards and mustaches.
3: Babies only like mommies! (big hug).
This coming from two boys who 9 out of 10 want to hang out with DADDY and have him put them to bed. Huh.
My 6 year old son has a girlfriend. He has recently revealed this information to us. He was looking at his class picture from this year . . .
6: Look, girlfriend and boyfriend sitting together. And that’s her 3rd boyfriend sitting beside me.
Me: (Wait, what?) She has 3 boyfriends? (little whore!)
6: Yeah, but I’m her first.
Me: Do you have 3 girlfriends?
6: No, just 2.
Me: (Oh, well that’s a relief!) Who’s the other one?
6: (Names a girl who lives across the street from us . . . a sixth grader!)
Me: Does she know this?
Me: Does (first girlfriend) know this?
6: Um . . . no.
3: YOU 2 ARE MARRIED!
6: No, not yet.
Oh god, I’m not ready for wedding planning yet. Can we wait until 5th grade, at least? Thanks.
A bit later on, but following this convo . . .
6: I really want to kiss her!
Me: No kissing. You are too young for kissing. You can only hug her.
6: But I kiss you!
Me: You can kiss your parents . . . not your girlfriend.
In which I scar my son for life. This is the moment I will look back on when he is 40 and still living in my basement. Yikes!