Weekly Whacked: Here You Go, Again!

Welcome, my friends, to the weekly whacked.  However, this is not an ordinary whacked.  Oh no.  This is actually your weekly whacked.  Or at least those of you who submitted your very own examples of douchebaggery that you have seen and captured around your own home towns.  You did this.  These are your pictures.  So, without further ado, here is what you did:

First off we have, as always, a stellar submission from Mandi of Atypically Relevant.

While I applaud this chic’s attempts to make her cause known, and an excellent cause it is, does she have to be so . . . demonstrative about it?  It’s kinda like one huge bumper sticker, and you all know how I feel about that, right?

Next is my sister wife, the yin to my yang, the Ice to my T, the Toddlers to my Tiaras . . . it’s Jen from Jen e sais quoi.  My homegirl spent an afternoon at the Portland Saturday Market, which is apparently ripe with the freaks, and saw some fine specimens of twatwaddledom.

What on earth?  Now, I know I have previously said that leggings aren’t pants and that people need to cover up their bits, but this might be taking it to the extreme.  It’s like she went into her closet and just put on . . . everything!  Maybe she’s planning for the apocalypse and is trying to fit her entire wardrobe right on her body.  Is she a Doomsday Preppers kinda gal?  Hmmmm.

Seriously?  What is this foolishness?  $16 to make myself a gnome?  Yeah, Imma go buy a nice bottle of wine instead, thanks.

The real game of Life, huh?  I like how it says Lonely, Lonely, Lonely, Lonely, Lonely Evening.  Like somehow it knows me or something?  Shut up stupid “real Life” game.  Pfft.

Ahhh!!  There they are . . . leggings as pants!  No.  Make it stop.  My eyes, my eyes!

Yes, this is in fact a grown woman, out in public, wearing head to toe rainbow clothing WITH RAINBOW WINGS!!!  She wins at life.  (I can just hear Jen saying, “yep, only in P-town, yo!”). 

More from Jen, not at the Portland Saturday Market . . .

OF CRS

Of Course . . . or Off Course?  Jen and I are wondering.  Guesses?

Where the hell was this fluffy shit when I was an undergrad, huh?  Damn.  This is real, by the way.  An actual class for credit at Jen’s school.  Hmmm, I wonder if part of the syllabus focuses on the Nathan Fillion episodes . . .

While I explained to Jen that this is soooo 2010, and that the hip and now shirts should have Peeta and Gale on them (gah, as if!), Jen informed me that:  “They’re a little behind here at the Hot Topic in Everett, Washington.”

And whilst you may believe that Jen is now targeting children with her camera phone, lest you worry, this is a “grown ass woman” who apparently is just stunted developmentally.  Or maybe the twee pink children’s fairy backpack is a valiant but unsuccessful effort to cover up the fully exposed back of her white bra.  But wait . . . there’s more:

Sparkly pink shoes to match the ensemble.  Of course!

These next submissions are from my pal and buddy and lover of Pop Tarts, Thoughtsy from Thoughts Appear.  Her submissions are all car related, as apparently that is the type of whackitude prevalent in her hood.

BLIND

We actually scoped out this bad boy together when we got together for lunch and shopping a few months ago.  In case you can’t make it out, it is a hearse with 3 zombie stickers on the rear of it and a license plate which says “blind.”  Gotta love a morbid sense of humor.  :)

The “Thundercats Car.”  Look at the emblem on the side and the license plate.  Seriously.  Someone owns and drives this vehicle with that on it.  Bizarro.

SHEGOAT

.

So . . . she’s a goat, who really likes to give blood and decorate her entire car with some sort of patchwork quilt drawings?  Sure.  Seems completely reasonable.  Why not.

Next up is my friend Red from Doesn’t Speak Klingon.  She went to Hershey Park and captured some pics of amusement park freaks . . .

Red describes this one as a Redneck Goth Chick.  Even goth rednecks like to go on the Super Dooper Looper, I guess.

Well, since we are obviously a society that just allows people to run around in their pajama pants out in public, I wouldn’t assume that bedroom slippers at the amusement park should be considered out of the norm, right?

Very bright and colorful Nike sneakers waiting in line for rides.  Albeit blocked a bit by fencing.  I just wonder what type of kaleidoscope of clothing this one had on to match those suckers!

As always, Jana from Shut the Front Door is in the mix with some crazy pics:

Girlfriend stumbled upon this in some abandoned building she was checking out for her job.  It begs the question . . . where is #2?

This is some disturbing shit right here.  This was also found in one of those abandoned properties.  Jana featured it on her site as well, but I felt it needed reposting.  Not only is it a highly bizarre painted and apparently used (Ewww!) mannequin . . . Jana actually donned some rubber gloves (hope she’s had her shots!) and shipped this thing to Mandi!  That’s right, Mandi (above) is now the proud owner of this piece of work.  Why, Mandi?  Why?

Next we have Jules from Go Guilty Pleasures, who captured just one picture, as she is new to this whole ninja photo thing.  But she’s trying, bless her heart:

She claims that the real life travesty of this individual is not quite captured in photographic evidence.  Or in her words:  “I don’t think the picture does the whole foot situation justice. Those are GOLD, WEDGE-heeled sandals — with white socks!!!”

This submission made it in the nick of time.  This is one of my blog stalkers, Sue Klopfenstein, who submitted these “on the road” pics:

This guy apparently just majorly scored at a big farm auction or something.  Can you see the white truck all the way in front of all this?  Yeah, quite the haul, dude. 

The obvious question here is “why do you need a gas pump in front of a Permanent Makeup Center?”  And while that is a valid question (Answer:  what do you think that stuff is made of?), my question is more along the lines of “how does one accomplish drive-thru services for Permanent Makeup application?”  The mind boggles.

Next we have a picture submitted by Michelle Cetlinski, in which she entitled it, “The Fuzzy Moto:”

Yes, apparently this was actually a motorcycle covered with furry tiger striped felt.  Nothing says manly power like a furry cat themed bike.  Me-rowr!!

In what might possibly be my favorite submission ever . . . I was sent a picture from Carrie of Cannibalistic Nerd fame.  She took this picture just for me, so I feel all warm and special, of course.  But what really sold it was the included commentary from her husband:

Tom:  “I just have one question, where did she get HER hair done, because that would weigh heavily on my decision as to whether to visit Great Clips.”  Carrie is 90% sure it is actually a woman.  Me?  I’m not so sure I would give it that high of a percentage.

————————————————————————————————————

Well, that’s it folks.  Pretty good selection this time, I would say.  Think you can do better?  Seen some freaks and want to try to hunt them down and take their pics?  You can still send me any picture you take that you would like to be featured on a future Weekly Whacked.  I will once again be posting submitted pics sometime in the future, so keep those cameras handy and keep snap snap snapping away!!  Happy Hunting, y’all.  And may the odds be EV-AH in your FA-VAH.

36 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. red
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 08:51:06

    I’m going to keep trying. The bar is set pretty high, though…I don’t know if I can handle the pressure!

    Nice Hunger Games nod. There’s some serious whackitude going on in that world!

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      May 01, 2012 @ 13:34:31

      Yeah, if I was somehow plunked down in a real life version of that city, I would lose my mind with the excitement and picture taking opportunities!!

      Reply

  2. Trackback: I Spy With My Little Eye « Thoughts Appear's Blog
  3. Inappropriately Nat (@natsnaughty)
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 10:40:35

    All I can think of when I saw “SHEGOAT” was ‘Goatse Girl’.

    Do not google. It’s not safe for anyone

    Reply

  4. atypicallyrelevant
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 11:07:15

    Why the crazy mannequin? Why not? I consider it a personal challenge to find a ridiculous use for an equally ridiculous item. And I’ll do it too. Possibly this weekend. I’ma start sending people weird, random stuffs with a challenge to make it something awesome/useful. You’ll see – it’ll catch on. Upcycling for the socially awkward!

    Also, Misty-slaw, we must have much different tastes in wine if you’re getting a nice bottle for $16. My last “nice” bottle was a $48 Chateauneuf du Pape. Though I did just get 2 bottles of a domestic sparkling riesling for $35… Wine and cheese at my place, anyone?

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      May 01, 2012 @ 13:37:50

      Hell, yeah! Your wine trumps mine any day. But I am broke as a joke, so yes, $16 IS a nice bottle in my world. I can’t afford that fancy shmancy stuff you consume.

      Want your head to really explode? I usually drink a nice $8 bottle on any normal night. Yep, I am uber classy like that.

      Reply

  5. Jana
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 12:41:25

    You just wait until I start to re-do that hovel where I got those items. The “people” around there are just as interesting as what I found inside. I can’t wait to send in those pics.

    Reply

  6. Becca
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 13:49:31

    I had an epic failure on my part and forgot to send you my PIC! I just sent it now, it’s all kinds of San Diego bougie hipster awesome…

    Reply

  7. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 15:32:04

    I think that garden gnome ad is a curse – you pay $16 and then you’re literally turned into a garden gnome, cursed to be peed on by dogs for an eternity.

    Reply

  8. jen
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 15:43:46

    Now that spring has come to PSU and the hipster undergrads have doffed their flannel for more “colorful” garb, there should be more to come!

    Reply

  9. cornfedgirl
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 16:22:28

    My eyes are bleeding.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      May 01, 2012 @ 13:43:15

      Wait. Your eyes are bleeding from this? Of all the freaky whacked out crazies I’ve posted in the past, this is the one that finally got your eyes to bleeding?

      Or is it cumulative? Did I break you, Johi? Is it finally all just too much?

      I am so sorry. I love you, still. Even when blind. I’m sure black dog will be an excellent seeing eye dog, so at least you already have that!

      Reply

  10. mark
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 18:20:35

    Another spectacular collection that will leave me traumatized for days. Well done to everyone who submitted!

    Reply

  11. Brett Minor (@brettminor)
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 19:19:37

    I AM going to get a picture on your site. I need a better phone. Mine never come out well. Tonight, I am going out with the HD camera.

    Reply

  12. Andi
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 20:58:48

    Now I want a gnome of myself. Possibly a whole gnome family. And I want to explore Buffy the Vampire Slayer in the worst possible way. This is like a disturbing variation on Pinterest, where I feel compelled to SPEND ALL THE MONEY. I think I’ll skip the permanent makeup, though. I already sleep in my makeup, that’s as permanent as I want it to get.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      May 01, 2012 @ 13:45:17

      I’m guilty of the same with the makeup. To be honest, but the end of the day, it’s mostly all worn off anyway.

      I agree with the Buffy thing. Just for the morbid curiosity of it all.

      Reply

  13. weezafish
    Apr 28, 2012 @ 23:32:56

    Ah man, I have to start entering this. We have some AWESOME colorful clothing going on out here in Africa. I knew a woman once like the lady in Barbie pink, wore primary colours and had a Sheep backpack and pink sparkly shoes. She was about 50! Awesome.

    Reply

  14. wcdameron
    Apr 29, 2012 @ 10:27:36

    Ah, hahahaha. I love the great clips photo, talk about poor advertising!

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      May 01, 2012 @ 13:47:18

      I know, right? Not sure what they were thinking with that one. I am always very observant of the stylist’s do when I go get my hair did. If they can’t tame their own mane, how well you think they’ll do with mine?

      Reply

  15. gojulesgo
    Apr 29, 2012 @ 10:39:58

    Woot!! Imma part of the club now! The gnome and Buffy ones are really amazing. And NOT in a gold-wedge-sandals-with-white-socks kind of way. ;)

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      May 01, 2012 @ 13:48:43

      Yay!! Welcome to the world of whacked, ma dear! I fear you may need to go get your shots.

      Thanks for participating. Keep practicing. I will expect more and better freaks in the future. After all . . . you DO live in Joy-zee!! ;)

      Reply

  16. Vesta Vayne
    May 02, 2012 @ 01:09:13

    #1 – I want the Thunder Cats Mobile. That is awesome.

    #2 – The redneck goth could very well be an old pic of me from high chool. I prefer the term hillbilly punkrock, thank you very much:)

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      May 04, 2012 @ 15:08:51

      I’ll see if Thoughtsy can negotiate a deal for you on that car. Hear that, Thoughtsy? I’m pretty sure Vesta said “price is not a factor” or something like that.

      Ha! Hillbilly punkrock has a nice ring to it as well.

      Reply

  17. MommyHoodLife
    May 06, 2012 @ 20:28:32

    Okay. I REALLLLLLLLY want to read the syllabus to that Buffy course. A Buffy course seems hilariously disturbing. If I could JUST see a pic even, of the syllabus, I could just imagine the rest!!!

    Reply

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