Convos with the Kiddos: Part Five

(Psst . . . 6 is now 7.  Ok then).

My oldest, talking to his dad about the restaurant they will eventually open:

7:  And we’ll do good the first couple years, because those places on Restaurant: Impossible do well the first couple years.

I think every restaurateur should be forced to watch multiple episodes of that show, as a “what NOT to do” tutorial.

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Talking about his girlfriend (yes, AGAIN):

7:  She has a lot of boyfriends, but her and I are the top.

4:  You want to kiss her all the time!

7:  Yes, but I can’t or I’ll get in trouble.  I can only kiss her on our wedding day when they say it’s ok.  On your wedding day and on . . . .

I don’t know where he’s learning this stuff about kissing and weddings, but I approve!

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Talking about how old you have to be to get married . . . yes, more wedding stuff.  I don’t know.

7:  The only way 4 could marry [the au pair] (who he loves and always says he’s going to marry), is if she were put in a block of ice until he grew up to be the same age.

Me:  How would she get out?

7:  Someone would pour lots of water on her.  And sun.

Well, at least he has a plan, then.

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That’s all from my oldest this time, but not to worry . . . my youngest was FULL of crazy talk recently . . .

Playing a game on his dad’s iPad, while his friend leans over to watch him:

4:  Stop busting into my space!

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4:  What is the baddest thing in the world?

Me:  I don’t know, what do you think?

4:  Black bananas.

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4:  I want to be flat.

Me:  What does that mean?

4:  I want to be flat on the floor and not get up.

Me:  And have people walk on you?

4:  If you lay on the floor and pretend to be flat and people walk all over you, eventually you will be flat.

Makes perfect sense to me!

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4:  You know, shummy beans are inside green beans.

Yeah, no idea . . .

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Me:  Do you want a chocolate/peanut butter cupcake or a red velvet?

4:  A red melmet.

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4:  You know when you are tired and you can’t go to bed, what that’s called?

Me:  No, what?

4:  Starved tired.

Me:  Who told you that?

4:  Nobody.  I just knowed it!

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4:  I want to be a statue when I grow up?

Me:  A statue?

4:  Yeah, it’s really hard to be a statue.  You have to break yourself down to build yourself up.  And you have to be grey.  You know . . . the color.

Hmmm.  Well, it is important for him to have aspirations, I guess.

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(This is the place in which I will remind you how completely and totally obsessed with all things Angry Birds my son is).

4:  Do you know what the boomerwacker bird in Angry Birds does?  He opens his mouth and it looks like he’s going to get the other Angry Birds, but he’s not.

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He went away with my parents for a few days and they took him to a fair:

4:  I rode rides and played games and won a piggy and a shark.

Me:  An Angry Birds piggy or a regular piggy?

4:  A piggy like from the farm.

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4:  Do you know what angry bird scares girls?

Me:  Which one?

4:  The black one.  Because it turns red and then explodes!

And if you think I’m touching that one . . . nope!

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