Wanna Be Friends?

I just adore Fred & Friends.  If you are also a fan, then you know of what I speak.  And if you’ve never heard of Fred & Friends . . . well, yes you have, actually.  Even if you don’t know you know.  Ya know?

A few weeks ago, I visited my friend JM’s blog, and saw a post where she talked about her new tea buddy, Mr. Tea.  And even though I don’t drink tea, I thought he was über adorable, so I wanted to see if the company that created her Mr. Tea, had any other items that were creative and adorable like her new little friend, yet were unrelated to tea drinking. 

I pity the fool who don’t drink no tea!

So I went to the website of the company that made Mr. T, and fell in love with everything I saw there.  And while I was perusing the site, I realized that I had actually previously seen a bunch of their items and/or even owned a few.

You’ve seen all of these, right?

And then of course, I came across an item that I have coveted since this past Christmas, but had no idea who made it.  I just knew that I wanted it, and still want it.  One day, maybe.

Remember these? Um, yeah, ME TOO!

And then I found something that I had not seen before, but I thought would be just perfect as a cute gift for my secretary.  I love getting her kooky gifts just because she’s completely amazing and deserves gifts for no reason.  It’s how I do.  But then I thought, “Wait, me…..wouldn’t this also be a really great gift to give to someone else as well?”  And I thought-responded, “Why yes.  Yes it would.”  And then I stopped talking to myself, because it started making me feel as if I was going to be committed at any moment.  Gotta at least act as if I’m a normal member of society, right?

So, anyway . . . back to the item.  It’s another office supply, so some of you might not be interested, but I thought it was fun.  Then again, maybe it’s because I have two boys that pretty much can’t stop talking about all things farting and pooping and potty humor, and I’ve finally been drawn over to the dark side . . .

“The Butt”

This little beauty is called The Butt Station Desk Accessory Holder.  It is a little blue man, holding a roll of tape (the cutter thing is on his toes), sitting on a toilet seat full of paper clips, whilst holding a pen in his mouth.  Behind him, there is a space for a post-it pad and more pens.  This little guy has a lot going on.  If you are like me, and are currently feeling like you are actually working in a toilet every single day at work, then this is the perfect little guy for you to subtly display your displeasure for your craptastic job.

Oh, but wait!  Besides all of the cute little functional things that this little guy represents, he also has a secret talent.  What is that, you ask?  Well, his butt is a magnet that pulls out the paper clips when you lift him off of his perch.  Yep.

But wait!  There’s more . . . if you call right now, you will get this bonus gift!  In addition to this lovely little gift that I bought both for my secretary and for one of you lucky contestants, I also bought a nifty set of pens that are also created by those irreverent and goofy bastards over there at Fred & Friends.  They are called “Borrow My Pen” and have faux business names and slogans on them.  They are rad. 

And . . . there is one of these lovely pens stuck firmly in the little blue man’s mouth up there.  So, if you get this great toilet guy, you will also get one of the Borrow My Pen pens.

This one.

“Stuffed With Love Taxidermy
No Pet Too Small – Give Us a Call!
(ask about our goldfish and turtle discount)
fluffy4ever. com”

I know, right?  You are thinking, “how can she be this beautiful AND generous all at the same time?  It just can’t be possible!”  But it is, my friends.  It is.  It’s just a gift.

Ok, so . . . rules!  Tell me about why you need this toilet man at your crappy job.  Tell me a story about something goofy or crazy or just plain shitty that has happened at your place of work.  And although you won’t be judged on your story (as always, random out of the hat picking by my fellas), I do need to be entertained, so make ‘em good.  I need something to distract me from this toilet bowl of a job I’m in! 

A lucky winner will be picked in a couple of weeks.  Good luck to all!

(In case you were wondering, my secretary absolutely adored this gift.  She liked it so much, that she walked around showing it to everyone, talking about how I know just the perfect things to get for her to represent her feelings about the job.  Yeah . . . it’s magical at my place of employ, as you can see.)

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**I was not compensated in any way for this post.  All opinions are my own, as I truly do love the Fred & Friends products.  I mean, how can you not love a company that refers to itself as “a lot like Santa Claus, but without all that breaking and entering?”  Seriously.  Love them. **

A Hot Cup O’ Joe

Holy crap, you guys!  Y’all really want this mug, huh?  Which is spectacular, because I spent my hard earned duckets to get that thing for you.  I mean, this is by far the most expensive thing I’ve ever given away, and I was so worried that nobody would think it was as rad as I did.  And I know what you’re probably thinking right now, “most expensive?  A mug?  What the hell?”  Well, the hell is that it’s from Disney, and everything there is stupid expensive.  I think it’s the extra magic particles they put in all of their stuff.  Or the fact that they need to pay extra to the fairies on the production line.  Whatever the reason, this was no ordinary FIVE BELOW kinda mug, ya dig?  So, I am very pleased with the responses I got for it.  Ok, then.  Enough of all that.  Let’s get to it.

Once again, my kids came into play.  Sorry for those of you who voted for certain people and/or comments (ahem Hippie ahem), but this also limits my ability to pick a favorite as well.  So it’s all fair-like, capisce?

This time, I enlisted the services of my eldest son, 7, to help me.  There were a larger than usual amount of people who entered, which meant lots and lots of little papers which needed folding.  (Yes, I do actually type up each name, print them out and then cut them into equal sized pieces, before folding them into little squares and putting them into a hat to be picked . . . what?).  So, because of the extra volume of papers, I told 7 I needed his help folding them all up.  And after folding up a few, he commented: “huh, this is kinda fun.”  I love my little dork. 

So, since 7 was on folding duty (and hat holding), I let 4 pick the name:

And who, praytell, is the lucky new owner of this super mega ridiculously fabulous drinking vessel, you may ask?  Well, it’s none other than:

AGIRLWHOGAMES

Woo-hoo!!  I am very excited for this win.  I think she may have needed a little special something more than anyone right now, being from Boston and having a very heart heavy week.  The fates (or 4) apparently knew she needed a little pick me up in the form of a mickey mug.  So, agirl, congrats on this super mega wonderfully rad win!!  I hope it will make you smile.

Go ahead and send over your deets and I’ll send this out to you.  mistyslaws at gmail dot com.

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And, because everyone was so keen to know the answer to my little riddle from the last post, about whose face was on the other foot (if you didn’t read this, go back, and that phrase will make much more sense) . . . the answer is:

MARILYN MONROE

A few of you guessed it, so good job.  You don’t get a prize or anything.  I mean, except for having the knowledge of 50′s era stars who died young and guessing the correct one, which is a prize in and of itself.  So . . . go you! 

The Magical Mickey Mug

Hey guys . . . anyone sick of hearing me talk about Disney?  Because since I’ve returned from my trip, I’ve talked about Disney here.  And then I also talked about it here.  And then, I even talked about it some more here.  Disneydisneydisneydisneydisneydisneydisneydisneydisneydisneydisney!!!

Well, if you are indeed completely and utterly over all discussion of that redundant D word, you may want to skip this post.  However, if you just stopped reading after that last paragraph, then you failed to realize that this isn’t any old post about ((whisper~disney~whisper)).  Oh no, this is a post-Disney supermegaspectaculargasmic . . .

GIVEAWAY!!!

That’s right.  While I was away with my family for a fun-filled, yet exhausting trip to the big D (and I don’t mean Dallas), I was thinking about all of you, my dear readers, sitting at work or at home, not getting to walk miles and miles and miles around 4 different parks.  And while I was scoping out which goodies to buy for myself and my friends, I also made sure to find something that I could give to one lucky reader.  And I did.  I found it.  I think it is super rad, and seriously almost kept it for myself.  But, as you know, I’m a giver.  So, I would never do such a thing!  That would just be wrong. 

How freaking rad is that?  It looks like 2 mugs stacked together, but in reality, it’s just ONE!  Magic.  BAM.  Only the best for you, dear readers.  Only the best.

Ok, task time . . . this is where I tell you what small animals you must sacrifice special something you need to do in order to qualify to win this gen-U-wine Disney Perks Parks souvenir.

So, they say that Disney World is The Happiest Place on Earth.  Based on my experience there, I would say this is a highly idealized statement.  True, there is fun to be had at the numerous parks sprinkled about Orlando, but mostly it is exhausting and frustrating, if I’m going to be honest.  And not just for the parents.  The kids get worn out as well.  Every single one of us took naps each afternoon during the week we were in Disney.  It was necessary so that we didn’t end up murdering each other.  So, while I would say that the week we spent in Disney was enjoyable, if I were to be asked if it is the Happiest Place on Earth, I would have to say, at least for me personally, that it is not.

What is then, you might ask?  Well, for me, the happiest place on earth is my bathtub, filled with hot bubbly water, with me in it, relaxing with a good book and a glass of wine.  No hubs, no kids, no obligations or responsibilities.  Just soaking and relaxing, letting myself drift away into whatever fantasy world I am reading about.  For me?  That’s heaven.

So, in order to be entered into the giveaway drawing, I want you to tell me what your happiest place is.  Is it an amusement park?  A secluded island somewhere?  Your couch at home surrounded by your family?  It can be anywhere that you feel happiest.  Tell me all about it in the comments, and you will be entered to win that awesome mug up there.  I will have one of my kids pick a name at random.  And if you win, you can fill it with whatever beverage makes you happiest. 

Good luck to all.

You Know You’re Old When . . .

A few weeks ago, this post introduced all of you, my dear readers, to the wonder that is this book:

My Middle-Aged Baby Book

And I asked everyone to comment on what was making them feel old, in order to qualify to win this book.  And oh boy, did you guys come through.  From aching backs, and various other body parts, to so very many grey hairs.  The grown-up children, and the “youngsters” who seem “like 12,” but are already shaving.  Hurting in the mornings after a night of too much fun, or receiving your Medicare card in the mail.

All examples given which are excellent indicators of feeling old age approaching.

But for one of you . . . your old ass gets a prize for revealing what made you feel all decrepit and elderly.  And I will let my son, 4, tell you who that winner is . . .

THESINGLECELL

I’m especially happy about this one, because she said in her comment that if she won, she would be giving the book away as a gift to her friend turning 40, and would include it in a basket of booze.  Now THAT’S a girl after my own heart.

So congrats to you, singlecell, and congrats also to your soon to be 40 lucky friend, for having such an awesome person as you as a friend.

Hope she enjoys the book!  There’s no doubt she’ll enjoy the booze.

Send me all of your info, and I will send you this book as soon as possible.  mistyslaws at gmail dot com.

Another One Bites the Dust Cover

I recently discovered that a local bookstore is being compelled to close its doors because it’s not getting enough business to stay open.  I have walked past this bookstore a bajillionty times, as it is directly across the street from my courthouse, but until last week, I had never once previously gone inside.  And I am deeply ashamed of this fact.  I am the reason that this store is closing.

And yes, while it is not only my fault, as my sole patronage probably would not have prevented the store’s going out of business, it is me and people like me that caused this to happen.  You see, I love books.  Even in the age of all things electronic, whether it be a Kindle, a Nook or an iPad, I still prefer reading actual books to any other mode of viewing literature.  I love the feel of a book, the smell of the pages, the heft of the bound papers in my hand. 

There is a local used book store near my home that I visit every couple of months, perusing their rows and rows of used novels, in the attempt to find an as yet undiscovered gem.  I will also take the books I have finished reading to this shop to trade them in for more books.  But my true transgression is this . . . I buy most of my books from Amazon.  So, you see, I am part of the problem which has developed in this generation of electronic ease and convenience.  Because, even though I still prefer my books the old-fashioned way, I will much more readily click online to order, rather than visit a local brick and mortar shop.  And this is why so many of these little shops are closing down. 

So, in the spirit of too little, too late, I paid a much delayed visit to this closing book store.  It may or may not have had anything to do with the fact that every book in the store was $3.00 or less.  It was a lovely little store.  Much bigger and deeper than I had imagined from the outside.  On a table to the left of the entrance, there was a complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica books for sale.  Huge, dusty tomes that will probably sit there until they are packed up by the owner with the remainder of the undesirable and unsellable books.  What with Google and Wikipedia at the click of a mouse, who needs big, outdated books to tell you what you need to know?  However, it was quite the trip to nostalgiaville seeing that entire set sitting there, since I grew up with a complete set on a bookcase in my own childhood home.  It was where you would find me when research papers came due for grade school projects.

And speaking of old school . . . there was a shelf labelled “Vintage” filled with numerous Hardy Boys mysteries and even some Bobbsey twins.  I did not see any Nancy Drew, as I imagine someone else probably snatched those up already.

In my search through this soon to be extinct shop, I was able to find a few books to purchase for myself.  But along with those, I discovered another rare gem . . . and this week’s giveaway!!

When I saw this and started flipping through it in the store, it made me laugh.  I knew that I had to get it and give it to one lucky reader.  Preferably one that is of the appropriate age, per the book’s guidance (see that little print down in the lower left corner . . . go ahead, get your glasses . . . I’ll wait).

I am sure that you are curious as to what this book contains, as I was as well.  Well, feast your eyes on just a sampling of the valuable queries in this book, enabling you to transcribe your own info for future reference.  Basically, when you get too old to remember your name, you can have this handy mid-life guide!

Very helpful, indeed!

Now, before you go denying that you want this handy little helper of a book, don’t think that I am calling you old.  No way, I would never do such a thing.  What’s calling you old is your grey hairs, saggy boobs and receding hairlines.  Take a gander in the mirror, my friends, before you start throwing the pitch forks around this way, k?  Sheesh!!

So, who wants it?  Anyone, anyone?  Hello?

Hmmm . . . I’ll be curious to see how this goes.  If you do indeed want it, this is what you shall do . . . comment on how you first realized you were old.  Was it a physical thing (grey hair, wrinkles, etc.)?  Was it a failing ability (poor sight, bad hearing, etc.)?  Was it some young punk kid calling you “ma’am?”  (Damn kids these days, grumble grumble).  Or was it something else?  Go ahead, fess up.  It’s happened to all of us!

And just to be fair, I will throw in another little treat as well, so it’s not just the book.  I haven’t decided what it will be yet, but it will be fun.  Probably not Metamucil.  I mean, unless that’s something you’re needing right now, because if so, I’ve got you covered!!

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This is your last reminder . . . if you haven’t already gone over to Noa’s Funny Bitch All-Star page to vote for yours truly (about halfway down the list) . . . what are you waiting for???  I would be ever so grateful if you were to do so.  This will be my last post for a while, as I am leaving for Disney with the fam oh so very early Saturday morning and will not return for a full week.  It would be just delightful to see that I made the All-Stars’ list prior to my departure.  PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN!!  Thanks, all!  See ya on the flip side.

Mustache Winner!!

A couple of weeks ago, you might have noticed this little giveaway post.  It was buried underneath a couple pounds of bacon, so you might have been a wee bit distracted.  Perfectly natural.  Mmmmm ,bacon.  Oh, sorry . . . what were we talking about?  Oh yeah, that’s right.

In case you were too busy attempting to extract yourself from the bacon porn that was dominating that post, and somehow missed the giveaway part of it . . . these were the items being offered up for the chance to win:

Luckily, some people were able to get past the deliciousness of that post, and actually contributed with a comment about something nice someone had done for them lately.  Those lucky participants’ names were placed in a hat, and a name was chosen by my son.  That chosen individual has won the above items.

And the lucky winner is:

Sorry about the blur. The boy would NOT stop moving his hands.

FRESH GINGER!!!

Congrats, lady.  Just send me your deets at mistyslaws at gmail dot com, and I will send out these fab items to you pronto!!

For those of you who were not lucky enough to be the chosen one, blame my kid.  I had nothing to do with it.  Oh, and also . . . stay tuned for another giveaway soon.  I’m contemplating what to feature, although I just might wait until Disney to see what kind of fab items they might have for me to give to a lucky participant.  Decisions, decisions.  Hmmmm . . .

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Wait!!  Don’t go . . . even though you might not have won any prizes, how about you do something for me??  I’m up for nomination as one of Oh Noa‘s Funny Bitch All-Stars.  I would really appreciate it if you would take a minute to visit and vote for me (and a bunch of other truly funny bitches as well, of course).  I mean really, I don’t ask for much, people.  Just your undying love and affection for all time and eternity!  Is that too much to ask?  Hello?  Where are you going . . . ?

Mustaches and Bacon Make Everything Better!

I’m a giver.  I love sending random cards, gifts and other items to people who I feel might need a little something to brighten their day.  Whether it’s for a birthday, a get well gesture or just an “I’m thinking of you” gift, I just love the feeling of making someone smile because of something I sent to them.  And all except for Jen (stupid Portland P.O.), everyone I send presents to, actually get them.

So, that leads me to the point of this post.  It’s time for another . . .

GIVEAWAY!!

But we’ll get to that in a bit, so bear with me.  First . . . a story.

The other night, I came home from work and found my husband in the kitchen, busy fixing dinner for the boys.  He had gotten a bug up his butt to prepare a meatloaf for them, searched online for a good recipe, and then started whipping up a jam.  When I walked in the door, he was elbow deep in ground beef and eggs.  I then saw that he had even concocted a homemade batch of tomato pepper relish that was to go in and on the meatloaf.  I left him in the morning, a sleeping bear in the bed, and came home to Emeril Lagasse, apparently.  Not that I mind.  I mean as far as the cooking goes . . . I’m not exactly hot for Emeril or anything.  Don’t get it twisted.

Homemade tomato pepper relish. Yum!

Oh, and did I mention that after the meatloaf was put it the pan, shaped, and topped with relish, it was then topped with . . . wait for it . . . BACON.

Of course, I asked if there was something I could do to help, and he directed me to the fresh brussels sprouts sitting on the counter, saying he was going to try to whip up a side dish of brussels sprouts with bacon.  When I asked if he had a recipe, he told me he had planned on just “winging it.”  Uh-oh.  So, I offered to handle it, not that I had ever made anything like that before, either.  But off to Google I went!  And found a perfect recipe for the ingredients on hand.

Everything turned out incredible.  But I will advise you, as to the brussels sprouts, if you make this, you may be tempted to not use much salt, thinking the bacon will take care of the salt quotient, but if you think that as I did, you would be very very wrong.  Salt.  Use salt.  It needs it.

Here are the finished products:

Click picture for recipe.

Click picture for recipe.

And I will tell you that both of my boys gave the meatloaf high marks, and my youngest gave the brussels sprouts two thumbs up.  Not only that, but they actually requested the meatloaf again the next night.  I think one of the ingredients in there might be magic.  True story.

Ok, now that you’ve got your bacon fix for the day, even if only tangentially through the pics, it is now time for the promised giveaway.  I saw these items at The House of Blues gift shop in the casino, and just knew that I had to get them . . . for you!

Awesome, yes?  You want it, right?  Worth playing for?  (Ok, I might be channeling Jeff Probst right now, sorry).  Ok, here’s your objective, should you choose to accept it . . .

Tell me a story.  A story about something unexpected that someone did for you.  Did your husband surprise you by whipping up dinner?  Did someone send you a surprising pick me up?  Something nice and not requested or expected.  Tell me all about it in the comments . . .

I’ll have one of my boys pick a name next week.  Good luck to all.  And let me know if you try the recipes and how they turn out.  They are 4 & 7 approved!

This Should Perk You Right Up!

A couple of weeks ago, I posted my most recent giveaway post, asking everyone to tell me their favorite way to beat the winter doldrums.  And there were some great ideas submitted in the comments!!  So, thank you to everyone who entered and played along.  There were some great tips, some of which I had already employed so far this winter (um, booze?  Check!).

So, now it is time to pick one lucky winner of the fabulous cash and prizes offered by yours truly.  Need a refresher?  Here they are:

And once again, I have enlisted the assistance of my name picker extraordinaire . . . 7.  So, all of you losers non-picked people, you can just blame him and not me!

And the winner is . . .

Aliceatwonderland!!!

Congrats to you, my friend.  Just send me a quick email at mistyslaws at gmail dot com and let me know where I need to send these bountiful treasures, and I will get them to you.  These presents surely will lift your mood during this dark and dreary season.

Thanks to everyone who entered and shared their winter blues pick me ups.  Stay tuned for more goodies to come!

Winter Pick Me Up

Well, as we’ve previously discussed, it seems that we are all in the throes of winter doldrums.  Whether from the bitter cold (except for those of you down under, then it’s from searing HEAT); or the fact that you only get to experience sunlight from your office windows, because it’s dark on the way in and on the way home from work; or the fact that most people I know have come down with some type of plague during this lovely January month.  Whatever it is that’s getting you down and in the dumps, you are not alone.  And while that sense of harmony with the rest of the depressed world probably doesn’t help perk up your mood, I know what will . . . presents!!

That’s right . . . it’s time for another round of pick me ups, via an infamous Misty’s Laws’ giveaway™!!

So, I guess you’re wondering what is on the menu of this smorgasbord of prizes this go round.  Well . . . Vanna, tell them what they’ve won!!  Or, could possibly win, anyway.

iPhone case

Typewriter computer decal

Magnet

Notepad

Rubik’s cube type keychain

Pretty good haul, yes?  Enough to perk up even the greyest mood, I’d imagine.  So, if you are interested in these items, all you need to do is leave a comment below telling me what you have been doing to try to keep positive during these gloomy winter months.  I’m sure everyone would be happy to hear any helpful tips to keep our spirits up.

Do you make a mug of hot chocolate and sip it by the fire while the bitter wind blows outside?  Take a nice hot soothing bath, while reading a good book and having a glass of wine?  Or even take a walk around the neighborhood for some exercise and a little Vitamin D on a sunny but brisk day?  Those are just some of the things that I’ve been doing recently to try to keep my mood up.

So go ahead and share your own ideas with the class, and you’ll get a chance to win these fab items and give yourself a little pick me up.  I can’t wait to hear what you come up with.  And then I get to do one of my favoritest things . . . send presents to one of my friends!

It’s a Major Award!!

The first time I saw A Christmas Story, I was 8 years old.  And I hated it. Well, I didn’t really hate it. But, unfortunately, I was a very impressionable and meek young girl who was eager to please. Obviously, this was before I became a teenager.

Christmas of 1983 was spent in Arizona, visiting with my grandparents.  One day, during this holiday season in the desert, my grandparents decided to take me to see this new Christmas movie that had just come out in theaters.  So there I was, sitting in a dark theater, about the same age as the main character I was watching on the big screen, and first experiencing the gloriousness that was A Christmas Story.  Obviously, I didn’t understand a lot of the more adult humor, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

However, when the movie was over, my grandparents asked me what I thought about it.  And feeling very nervous and on the spot, I told them I didn’t really know.  It was then that they told me how much they hated it and how they thought it was incredibly stupid and horrible.  They railed on it.  Continuously.  So, wanting to be a good agreeable little girl, I heartily agreed with them.  And thus my opinion of the movie was cemented . . . until many years later.  I don’t remember the next time I saw the movie.  Maybe high school, possibly college, or even later in life.  But I remember realizing how brilliant and hysterical the movie was.  Since then, I have seen the movie dozens, if not hundreds, of times.  And my love has only increased with each watching of this epic tale.

And this is why I am incredibly excited to give away this epic and fun Christmas Story prize!  Even though it took me a while to realize its brilliance, it has become one of my most beloved holiday movies.  And I am happy to share these treats with some lucky winner.

As I foretold, my son 7 would be picking a name out of a hat to choose the winner this time, thus releasing me from all blame and guilt for the decision.  Yep, that’s how I roll.  I place all blame squarely on the heads of my kiddos.  I am a super duper mom, yo.

And while the picking of a name is not based on the quality of the stories, I want to say that those stories were fantastic.  Some painful, some hilarious, all wonderful.  Thank you for sharing your crazy holiday stories with me.  I enjoyed them all!!

So, without further ado, the winner, as picked by my son 7, is:

WINOPANTS!!!

Congrats to you, my girl.  Your story was full of awesome, and you were the lucky name picked by my son!  Hooray for you.  Now, you just need to send me your address, so I can get these fab prizes off to you, and hopefully even get them to you by the big fa ra ra ra ra day.  Send to:  mistyslaws at gmail dot com.