Conversations with My 6 Year Old: Part Deux

At dinner time . . . he has a plate divided into 4 sections with different types of food on each (roast beef, mashed potatoes, carrots and noodles).  At one point I notice he has pretty much eaten all of the noodles and is now working on the meat, which is diagonal to the section once holding the noodles.  He has not touched the carrots or potatoes.  He sees me eyeing his plate and says this:

“You might say I haven’t eaten either of these 2 foods here, but I’m working on these other 2 first because they are sideways and I like just doing these 2 first and then moving onto the others.” 

He likes to eat his food in patterns.  Or what he used to call it:  “patternins.” 

I love the way this kid’s mind works.

He also said this at dinner, apropos of nothing:

“I like the time of year when we have gorrrr-geous sunsets.”  Gorgeous.  Yep, he said that word.  All drawn out like that as well.

Later, watching the X-Factor together (that I had recorded earlier), he was asking me about how the groups were split up and which group this one singer was in.  (If you haven’t seen it, it is very much like American Idol, except that after the singers are whittled down to 32, what would be after Hollywood Week in AI, they split the group into 4 mini-groups, consisting of Girls, Boys, Groups and Over 30.  The over 30 group is girls and guys).  So there is this one woman who is a fantastic singer and my son was watching her sing and asked if she was in the girl’s group.

Me:  Nope, she’s in over 30s.

6: So, that is all people over 30 who can sing . . . like you?

Me: cough Um, yeah, just like me cough

**Note that I cannot carry a tune in a bucket, but for some reason my son thinks I have a good voice.  I fear he may be tone deaf.  I have also heard him sing.  Shudder.**

Me:  Do you think I could be on this show?

6:  Yep!

Me:  What song should I sing to try out?

6: (without hesitation) Rolling in the Deep, definitely.  Because you like that song, right?

Me:  Yes.  (thank god he didn’t say Moves Like Jagger!!).  Do you think I could win?

6:  Maybe

**Apparently his faith in me only goes so far**

Me:  Are you going to be a singer when you grow up?

6:  No, mom.  I told you . . . I’m gonna be a ninja!

**Obviously.  I don’t know what I was thinking.**

boredshitlessbluntcard

What everyone is probably thinking when I start blogging about my kids . . .

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28 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. lisa
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 09:09:03

    I’m not bored! You’re kid cracks me up! What 6 year old says “You might say I haven’t eaten either of these 2 foods here”?!? That is hysterical! It’s obvious you don’t dumb down your vocabulary when you talk to him. Once again, we definitely share the same brain, because I’m like that with my daughter. My hubby always tells me “like she knows what that means” and I tell him that if she doesn’t understand a word, she’ll ask…and she does. For a 4 year old she has a pretty good vocabulary and I’m proud of it. LOL I bet her and your son would get along as famously as their mother’s do! 😉

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 04, 2011 @ 10:58:47

      I totally don’t dumb down how I talk to my son, and he is always asking what words mean, which means I have to be mommy vocabulary lesson on a daily basis. Good thing I usually know the meanings of the words coming out of my mouth. 🙂

      Reply

  2. thoughtsappear
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 09:32:55

    He’s probably not tone deaf. He’s just blinded (deafened?) by love for you. Or maybe you have a good voice and you just don’t know it.

    Reply

  3. Kelly
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 09:58:28

    I wish my 10 year old would talk about gorgeous sunsets rather than Justin Beiber. I also wish she would learn how babies are made and figure out that the tooth fairy, Easter bunny, and Santa aren’t real all on her own. Would relieve me of a lot of pain and suffering, of which I can’t sue her for, because she’s my kid. Or can I, Misty???

    Reply

  4. Paula @ thewilyweez
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 12:24:10

    You need to enroll that kid in ninja classes asap! Because you never know when you might need a ninja around to sort some shit out.

    Reply

  5. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 13:58:44

    I also have a very systematic approach to eating. His system makes perfect sense to me…

    And I agree with Paula, a ninja is always handy to have around, even if you don’t know where they are.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 04, 2011 @ 11:01:56

      Yeah, that would be a problem since I pride myself on knowing where both my kids are at least like 75% of the time. That would really mess with my average.

      Reply

  6. beccasprettysurethat
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 19:02:04

    Conversations with kids = priceless. They come out with either the cutest thing you’ve ever heard or the most unintentional shittiest thing you’ve ever heard. My daughter is always spouting out random things that either leave me in fits of laughter or tears…

    PS Ninjas rock

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 04, 2011 @ 11:02:44

      Oh yes, he is either hysterical or very hurtful on a daily basis. I could probably do a whole blog just about the whackadoodle shit that comes out of my kids’ mouths.

      Reply

  7. Grammy
    Nov 02, 2011 @ 20:17:28

    Ok, fun convos with the kids never ends:
    My 27 yr old daughter to my 26 yr old very pregnant and overdue daughter:
    27 yo: Did you eat spicy food?
    Preggo: yep, nothin’…
    27 yo: Jump up and down…
    Preggo: Right. Bc the baby will just fall out….
    See? You have many years of fun dinner discussions ahead of you!

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 04, 2011 @ 11:04:22

      Man, look what I have to look forward to. Although, I have 2 boys, so I imagine the number of discussions about pregnancy might be a bit less. Probably more about football and baseball in the future. Oh well, I’m sure they will still crack my shit up if they take after their smart ass sarcastic parents. Fingers crossed.

      Reply

  8. hoodyhoo
    Nov 03, 2011 @ 07:21:15

    Not at all bored — your mad parenting skillz restore my hope for the future!

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 04, 2011 @ 11:05:17

      Does this make you want to have your own, Hoody? I can lend mine out for a few weeks as a starter package and see how you do, if you want. No charge, even, cuz we’re tight like that!

      Reply

  9. mark @ yelling near you
    Nov 03, 2011 @ 13:41:17

    I’m jealous that he knows what he wants to be. Ninja is an excellent career choice in these uncertain times with the underwear bombers and shoe bombers. Everyone loves a ninja!

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 04, 2011 @ 11:07:38

      I agree. When I first asked him what he wanted to be, he goes, “well, what are you, mommy?” And when I said lawyer, he was like, “yeah, I’ll be that . . . what do you do?” and when I started to try to attempt to kind of sort of explain lawyering to a 6 year old (so much tougher than I imagined) he cut me off and was like, “nevermind, I don’t want to do that.” (Smart kid!). “I want to be a ninja.” I think that is a much more intelligent career choice, by far!

      Reply

  10. lazysubculturalgirl
    Nov 03, 2011 @ 15:38:32

    At least you can be tone deaf together. Living in a house with THREE kids who are all more musical than me (and in various ways, more musical than each other) leads to a lot of, “Mom, stop singing! Mom, [brother] is singing again, make him stop!” Fun times, I tell you.

    I also ate my food in patterns. Actually, I still eat that way sometimes. I once had a guy grab a fork out of my hand on a date because I was eating the meat sauce off the top of the spaghetti. Tell your son that if someone does that, it’s ok to shank them with the butter knife. In my case, I went out on a second date and THAT was a mistake.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 04, 2011 @ 11:09:37

      So apparently you were into controlling mysogynistic men back then? Of course I would teach my son it is ok to stab anyone who tries to take a utensil out of his hand while he is trying to eat. That’s just good parenting, yo!

      Reply

  11. blunt delivery
    Nov 03, 2011 @ 20:34:36

    aw. how cute is your boy.

    um, i agree i love the gorggggeous sunsets of fall as well.

    i’m not smart enough to use patterns for anything tho, so he beats me there.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 04, 2011 @ 11:10:52

      He is a super smart kid. I think he has that mathematic type brain, cuz he’s super good at math, too. I’m gonna be in trouble by like 2nd grade, I think, because math is not my thing at all. Did I mention he’s in first grade?

      Reply

  12. Team Suzanne
    Nov 04, 2011 @ 10:00:17

    Oh, no–quite the contrary–I LOVE reading about other peoples’ conversations with their kids. It helps me determine whether mine are, in fact, mentally ill, or just asshats. Or–hope, hope…normal children.

    Six is a fantastic age. I’ve got one of those.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 04, 2011 @ 11:12:00

      So, did my conversation with my kid restore you faith in your own? And I agree, I am loving this age. I also have a 3 year old, which is also a very funny, yet challenging, age.

      Reply

  13. Jen
    Nov 04, 2011 @ 15:46:56

    J. wants to be a ninja too. They should pair up ‘cuz between your mad kickin’ skillz and my ability to be one sneaky-assed motherfucker I’m guessing our short people have the genetic predisposition for world domination.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 07, 2011 @ 10:09:55

      Yes, we should definitely pair them up. With our genes, they would be an unstoppable dynamic duo. But maybe without the gay undertones. Or . . . maybe they would? Much more entertaining that way, and then we could get them their own show on Bravo!! We could live vicariously through our gay fame-whore ninja sons. That really is the dream, no?

      Reply

  14. Trackback: The Biggest Loser: Is this safe? « Misty's Laws

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