MY Freebie List

Well, you’ve seen the hubs’ list, so now it’s time for mine.  But before I reveal my 5, I will share with you what the hubs thought, after knowing me for 15 years, was my list.  Of course he went for the funny at first.  His first choice?  Abe Vigoda.  Ha ha, he’s old and irrelevant.  Very funny, hubs.  Then I told him to get serious and he could only really truly think of 3.  One of which was a definite possibility and will be discussed below.  The other 2 were Matthew McConaughey and George Clooney.  Um, no.  And, really hubs?  Really?  Fifteen years together and that’s the best you can do?  A drugged out, hang-10, bongo playing crazy dude and my grandpa?  Sigh. 

Anyway, without further ado, here is my actual list.  Let’s do this . . .

1.  Bradley Cooper

I have always thought he was a very attractive man.  When I first saw him on Alias, I thought he was adorable, even if at the time, like Sydney Bristow, I thought Vaughn was the obvious choice for “man I would choose to sleep with in a millisecond.”  Poor Will.  Then, I watched him again in a couple episodes of the very briefly run Jack & Bobby, followed closely by the next cancelled-too-early show, Kitchen Confidential.  He played the main character, Jack Bourdain, and he was quite a sexy bad boy, which made me see him in a different light.  However, he wore his hair super short in that show, and I like my Bradley much more tousled than that, thank you.  Then I thought he was hysterical when he played the asshole boyfriend in Wedding Crashers.  But it wasn’t until his very recent turn in the second installment of The Hangover that I realized how freaking hot and steamy he actually is.  Something about him in that movie just got my juices flowing, and now I am all about the Bradley Cooper.  Now if he would just stop dating all those skanky broads, he might be the perfect man.  Call me, Bradley!!

2.  Johnny Depp 

(c) Mathew Rolston

This one goes back to his Jump Street Days.  I have had a major crush on this man since I was a teenager, and that crush has never wained. 

He IS just happy to see me. (c) Bonnie Schiffman

I continue to find him sexy & bizarre & talented & eccentric & beautiful.  He is just so odd and gorgeous that I can’t help but love him.  Even when he’s playing a pirate and wearing more eye make-up than a Vegas stripper.  He has an unhealthy fascination with playing whacked out characters in freaky Tim Burton movies, but still, my adoration remains.  He is just the sexiest and most crush-worthy man I have ever laid eyes on.  Le sigh.

3.  Ryan Reynolds 

I know this probably seems like an obvious choice.  He is one hot and sexy (and thank you jeebus) usually shirtless man, so obviously he would be on the list, right?  Well, I don’t know if you have noticed the theme so far of this list, but I fall for guys early in their career, usually on TV, and then the world starts to discover how steamy my picks are and just jumps right onto the back of my own personal bandwagon of lust.  That’s ok, guys.  I’ll just keep being a trailblazer of picking the future hotness for women everywhere.  No thanks necessary.

Ryan was on 2 Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (before it shortened itself into the much easier 2 Guys and a Girl), when he was young and adorkable.  And yes, I know this wasn’t his first foray into television, but I’m not from the great white north, y’all, so that was my first experience with him, and not Fifteen.  Plus, that was Canada, so it totally doesn’t count.  Anyway, after the show, he starred in Van Wilder, a goofy National Lampoon’s movie.  Then he did a few indie flicks, Waiting . . ., Smokin’ Aces, etc.  But then . . . Blade:  Trinity.  This is when the current physique of Ryan Reynolds was born, when he was required to bulk up to be all ripped and man-meatish for this flick.  Thank you Blade:  Trinity.  Since then he has been starring in bigger and better films, and now he is a household name and a super hot commodity.  And completely gorgeous and drool-worthy.  Oh, and did I mention his abs?

But just remember, I saw him first.  I’ve got dibs.  Hands off, ladies. 

4.  Charles Kelley

I would bet dollars to donuts (mmmm, donuts) that most of you have never heard of him.  But, as has been previously mentioned, I am a fan of a good bit of country music.  Mr. Kelley is a part of the country band Lady Antebellum, which unless you are living under a rock, you have probably at least heard of.  He’s kind of like what would happen if Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling had a baby . . . a Ryan squared.  He is just so adorable and there is something about him that just gets me all steamed up.  He is yummy.  He’s also close to 10 years my junior, unlike the rest of this list, so lusting after him kind of makes me feel like a dirty grandma.  But I’m ok with that. (ok, I just looked and he actually just turned 30, but he’s younger than my little brother, so it’s still kind of icky.  Still fine with it, though).

Plus, when he sings, I am totally mesmerized.  There is just something about him as a performer.  Maybe it’s the groupie effect, but he is so soulful and sexy when he is up on that stage and I can’t help but want him to be singing to me when he croons, “I just need you now.”  Now, then, tomorrow, last Tuesday . . . whenever you say, Charles.  Whenever you say.  I’m there baby.

Ok, here’s where I had a problem.  Like the hubs, I had a wee bit of an issue with coming up with my #5.  It’s not that I couldn’t think of anybody.  It’s just that there were too many somebodies that placed about equally in my mind to figure out who to pick.  Here are some of the possibilities . . . the first is the one the hubs came up with:

Eddie Vedder

He is an obvious choice for me as I have loved him and his music for 20 years.  Pearl Jam is my favorite all time band and I have been crushing on Eddie for as long as I knew he existed.  Apparently when I start to crush on you, I am yours for life, suckers.  So deal.  Anyway, he was this young, fearless, high-energy, long haired, grunge singing rock star and I just fell head over heels.  This is the Eddie I first lusted after:

Fearless and crazy. Loved me a bad boy.

However, even though I still love PJ’s music, Eddie has morphed from that young exuberant rock star, into a more middle aged activist dad folk singer, which is not quite as much of a turn on.

Don’t get me wrong, he is still an attractive man and I will always love PJ, and let’s face it, I am also 20 years older and less sexy than I was when I was a cute young thing, so I’m not blaming him for growing up or anything.  But I just don’t know if I would want to sleep with him anymore.  So sad when the lust dies.

So, let’s move on to my next possibility . . .

John Cusack

This one goes way back as well.  Not as far back as the early 80’s when he was a scrawny little geek in movies such as 16 candles, Better Off Dead and One Crazy Summer.  But definitely back to 1989, when the world was first introduced to Lloyd Dobler (Lloyd Dobler, alright!), and I fell hard for that sweet kid with the boombox over his head.  A good friend of mine used to invite me over to her house so we could watch the movie, over and over and over again . . . and drool over that super cute guy.  We actually knew every word to that movie and fell in love with Lloyd all over again every time we watched.  We were teenagers, after all, so what else did we have to do but watch movies and swoon over cute boys.

Since then, both John and myself have gotten older and grown up into bigger and better roles.  I no longer swoon over cute boys and he is a famous movie star who has been in many interesting and dramatic films.  So, same thing really.  I have always appreciated him as an actor, and he has rocked it out with his performances in faves such as High Fidelity, Grosse Point Blank (not a great movie, per se, but he is great in it), Con Air, Being John Malkovich (a truly twisted tale which he also rocked), Identity and most recently, Hot Tub Time Machine (which I did not see, but heard was hysterical).  The problem with all this maturity and growth in his acting career is that he has grown up as well.  Instead of that trench coat wearing adorable boy above, the current John Cusack looks more like this:

While Lloyd Dobler will always hold a place in my heart, John Cusack on the other hand has just gotten old and kind of puffy.  Not really list-worthy at this point, unfortunately.  Sorry, John.

Ok, so this is harder than I thought.  But I have to pick.  So here it is:

5.  Dermot Mulroney

This might seem an odd choice.  Especially since I’ve been going on and on above about not picking people because they have aged and are now too old to be list-worthy, when Dermot is actually racing towards 50 right now.  50!  But he still looks good for his age and he has never lost his sex appeal, as far as I’m concerned.  Strangely enough, I can never remember his name.  I always want to call him Kyle McDermot or even Kyle McLaughlin.  I don’t want to do any of them though, in case you were wondering.

I have thought he was adorable from early on when he was in Young Guns and then even more so in This Thing Called Love, an obscure country music movie starring River Phoenix.  Then, of course, he made it big when he was the leading and most wanted man in My Best Friend’s Wedding.  He has done a bunch of romcoms and lots of Westerns, but he has remained sexy throughout his career.  Not to mention that I love that scar on his lip.  What do they say about chicks and scars?  Yeah, totally true.

Well, that’s my list.  What do you think?  Good, huh?  Hands off my mens, ladies.

Ok, now it’s time to tell me your list.  Let me know below.

P.S.  Because of the massive amount of time it took me to compile these lists and the added bonus post I whipped up when I got the award earlier in the week, there will be no Weekly Whacked this week.  Sorry, folks.  I know you anticipate those every week.  I hate to disappoint, but I promise I will bring you some good stuff next friday.  You still love me, right?  🙂