Hot for Teacher

In the wake of the Penn State scandal, which is in the public consciousness and has prompted a huge reaction in advocating stronger laws and penalties to protect children from abuse, there is a story that you might have missed.  This happened a few weeks ago, before the Sandusky story blew up in the press, but it has some tie-ins and I wanted to mention it.

My husband and I were talking a little while back and he asks me, “hey, did you hear that story about the female teacher who is going to jail because she had sex with some students?”  I had not heard of it.  So he tells me the story:   “Apparently, she had orgies at her house with some of the 17 year old boys in her school and now she’s going to jail.  The parents of the boys testified that it made the boys depressed and they were having severe emotional issues because of her actions.  I think that is crazy!  (the hubs still talking here, please note).  When I was 17, if a hot teacher had wanted to have sex with me, I would have thought I had won the lottery.  I never would be depressed or have anxiety afterwards.  That is a young boy’s dream!”

So, here’s the story . . . a female gym teacher from Ohio, Stacy Schuler, invited some boys to her home after a football game, started drinking and supplying alcohol to the boys, and then initiated sex.  This happened numerous times with a few different boys, most of which were around 17 or 18.  Ohio law allows sex with anyone over 16, but it is illegal to have sex with a student.  She was recently convicted of sexual battery and given a 4 year sentence.  She actually pled insanity, and her defense was that she was drunk and had some psychological issues (they also blamed her veganism), and that she did not have the mental capacity to understand what she was doing was wrong.  This defense was rejected out of hand.  Being drunk and a vegan is apparently not a sufficient reason to qualify for insanity.  Go figure.

Stacy Schuler

Read the full story here.

And I’m sure everyone remembers Mary Kay Letourneau (now Mary Kay Fualaau).  She was a 35 year old teacher who had sex with a 12 year old student of hers, Vili Fualaau.  She was convicted of 2 counts of 2nd degree rape of a child, but only received 6 months of incarceration.  It wasn’t until she was released, violated the conditions of her parole (no contact with Vili Fualaau . . . which she violated spectacularly by having sex with him in the back of her car), that she was sentenced to 7 years of incarceration.  While this entire scenario is completely abhorant and I don’t think anyone would think that it was a sexy hot for teacher moment, she had 2 children by this kid, married him when she was released, and they are still together after all these years.  So, was it fate that they be together?  Does their love transcend all age differences (still totally yuck)?  Was it true love?

I guess my real question here is this: are there others out there that feel as my husband does, that if a hot female teacher has sex with teenage boys, it shouldn’t be a crime?  That it is every young boy’s dream, as indicated in Van Halen’s Hot for Teacher

Two weeks ago, Glee featured that very song on their show, sung by Puck who is lusting after his teacher, and has actually kissed her on the show.  The teacher is probably supposed to be in her 30s on the show, while Puck keeps indicating that he is 18, so it is legal (he’s probably about 30 himself in real life).  But is it the same as Stacy Schuler?  That it’s not about whether he is of age or not, but really the teacher/student relationship that makes it illegal?  In the show, of course, it is just a fun reason to sing Van Halen, but in real life, should it be ok?  Apparently, according to my husband, it should be.

I know he is not the only one who thinks this.  I still think it’s not ok, and apparently Ohio law agrees with me.  But it does seem like there is a definite double standard when it is male teacher/female or male student vs. female teacher/male student. 

What do you think?  I’m looking for some of my guys to respond to this as well.  I really want to know what your thoughts are about this phenomenon of Hot for Teacher vs. Don’t Stand So Close to Me.  Please weigh in . . .

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43 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rissa
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 10:08:26

    I don’t think it’s right for teachers to do that to students (nor any adult with a minor). When the students get to an age of consent it’s a little more murky, but the teacher is still in a position of authority so should be an example. This is from a woman’s point of view though, a teenage more (or in some cases grown men) would disagree. 🙂

    And the law in Ohio (live there and grew up in a family of cops) is that the older person can not be over four years older than the minor. So if the minor is 16 and the other 20 it’s fine, but if they’re 21 then they’re in trouble, so Ohio doesn’t TOTALLY agree that it’s ok.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 29, 2011 @ 15:04:52

      Thanks for the clarification on Ohio law. I was just quoting what the article said the law was, so I guess they just didn’t expound on that. The law is very similar here in MD.

      Reply

  2. Jen
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 10:39:24

    OK, this makes me feel so much better about the fact that the last two guys I dated were 26 and 27 respectively. Of course, if I’d been 30 that would have been a whole ‘nuther level of icky. I think what she did was disgusting. Bottom line, they were minors and she was in a position of power. If you want to get it on with someone 15 years your junior, wait until you’re 40 like a good girl. 🙂

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 29, 2011 @ 15:06:13

      Exactly! Plus, there is nothing wrong with a 40 year old woman dating a man in his 20’s. That still qualifies under the rule, I believe. But an adult having sex with a teenager is just wrong.

      Reply

  3. Paula @ thewilyweez
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 11:16:39

    I think most people are of the mindset that it’s not a big deal if the teacher is a woman. I think it’s icky either way…

    Reply

  4. Kelly
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 11:37:57

    It’s disgusting on many levels, in my eyes. First of all, the relationship of teacher/student is one of authority, and using your position to manipulate others is wrong, no matter if it is sexual or not. Second, that woman is not insane, she is calculating. Her self-esteem might be in the gutter, but you don’t just invite kids over, booze them up, and have an orgy on accident. I totally agree with Paula, too. The mindset that a woman cannot rape is a huge falsehood, and punishments should be equal.

    Maybe I’d feel differently if I ever had a hot teacher/professor. Thinking back, it just makes me want to cross my legs, not open them.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 29, 2011 @ 15:08:31

      I never wanted to have sex with any of my teachers, ever. But I am sure there were many classmates of the male persuasion that felt differently. I agree it is about the issue of authority that makes it very wrong. And you are right, blaming it on insanity is ridiculous. She was most definitely calculating and a predator, regardless of her sex.

      Reply

  5. Leauxra
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 11:38:40

    There is an ick-factor calculator: You can date someone younger than you as long as they are older than half your age plus seven. So when you are 20, you can date a 17 year old, and when you are 40, you can date a 27 year old… Age disparity matters less the older you get, provided this simple rule is applied.

    As far as the teachers go: This is not a moral issue (necessarily). It is an issue of conflict of interest. I would say it is similar to dating your boss. If you are worried you won’t get an A or a promotion because you don’t want to have sex, it’s fucking wrong. Add in that teachers are PARENT figures to these kids, and you get some weird incest vibes going. Ew.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 29, 2011 @ 15:09:40

      Yes, that is indeed the rule. I often remind my hubs of this when he is commenting on the sexiness of some 22 year old. Nope! Illegal. It is against the rule, old man.

      Reply

  6. Team Suzanne
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 12:53:31

    Icky does not = illegal. An adult having sex with a 12 year old should clearly be a crime, no matter what age the adult is. Sex with a 17 year old–that’s a gray area.

    My reference point is my high school boyfriend at 17–to suggest this young man was in any way a victim in any sexual situation he got himself into would have just been ridiculous. This guy was sexually fully baked by 16 and if he had wanted to have sex with a female teacher, and did, it would be hard to ever argue a crime took place. Nobody was duping this asshole into anything–no matter how hot they were.

    That said–I cannot recall a high school student ever thinking or saying that a teacher was attractive. So I think the “ick” factor is indisuputable. I may be an outlier–but my “ick” factor kicks in when ever anyone exceeds a three year age difference. I’m 37 and if some guy over 40 smiles at me I come unglued. My husband has a PhD in philosophy and he says its because I have a fear of death and my own immortality. Whatever seacow–I just don’t like old guys.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 29, 2011 @ 15:12:49

      I am the opposite. I can’t deal with younger guys, but older guys are fine. I mean, not grandpa old, but the hubs is 7 years older than me and that is just fine. I pretty exclusively dated older men. I think I once dated a younger guy, and by younger I mean a year younger, and it just felt wrong. Like I was robbing the cradle or something. When I was 17 I was dating a guy who was 22, which felt normal to me, and my parents had no problem with. He wasn’t my teacher, though. That would have made a huge difference.

      Reply

  7. lisa from insignificant at best
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 14:56:01

    I think it’s wrong no matter what, however most men I know think it’s okay if the teacher who is fucking her student is hot. Oh yes, cuz level of hottness makes it much better. Idiots.

    Reply

  8. lazysubculturalgirl
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 15:42:36

    I think men are conditioned to assume they are in charge no matter the age of the woman involved. So a guy who is legal having sex with a teacher doesn’t send up the red flags for them the way it does when the genders are reversed.

    Having said that, I agree with the authority position. It’s a bad idea to have sex with your child, your student, or your subordinate regardless of the ages of the people involved. Predators often go after these types of relationships precisely because of the power imbalance. I’m pretty sure that you could pass a law about this without stepping on too many constitutional rights. What the teacher did = totally abhorrent in my book.

    The “ick” factor for me is because I’m the opposite of Suzanne — I like older men and I’m grossed out by anyone more than three years younger than me. Even when I fantasize about my crushes, I think of the younger ones as friends or people I can mentor. I DO NOT think about sleeping with them. That would be….urk. People up to my parent’s age, though? Perfectly fine.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 29, 2011 @ 15:32:47

      So you do wanna sleep with grandpa, huh? 🙂

      I agree about the authority figure. Anyone with any control over your life should not be a suitable suitor. But especially if you are a teen and that person is a teacher. Regardless of whether you are 17 or 18 and the teacher is a woman. It is icky and should still be illegal.

      Reply

  9. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 16:33:54

    Yeah, I really think it’s just part of the job description: DON’T sleep with your students. If you want to have sex with of-age teenage boys, don’t be a teacher – you can still find plenty to do it with if you hang out in the high school parking lot like the skeevy weirdo you are. Which is still icky, but at least you aren’t responsible for them in the way you are as a teacher.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 29, 2011 @ 15:35:03

      So, what you are saying is that you are starting a support group for skeevy middle aged perverts to attract young virile students and that group meets at your house on Thursdays? Good to know! 🙂

      And yes, I think DON’T SLEEP WITH THE STUDENTS should be highlighted and in bold on every application and contract given to a teacher. I guess they figured it was an unspoken rule. Apparently it needs speakin’.

      Reply

  10. Heather
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 17:07:35

    The ick factor is huge. Somehow society has taught us (trained us?) that it’s somehow ickier if the teacher/older person is male. I remember being a Sr. in HS taking the mandated Economics class with a teacher who couldn’t have been more than 23 and looked like one of us (only hotter). All the boys were gaga over her, and I “heard” she “partied” with some of them at college parties on the weekends. I never asked for details, quite honestly, I was probably jealous she got the HS boys attention.

    Recently at a HS football game, I watched the female “trainer” smack a player on the butt, no biggie (if you are familiar with football or sports in general)..he laughed and smacked her butt back, but with a lingering “grab.” When she giggled back, I almost threw up in my mouth. I think it happens or is “flirted with” a lot more than we really know. Especially when boys of 17 look like grown men and the teachers are sometimes only a few years older. Still icky and inappropriate.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 29, 2011 @ 15:36:55

      Ok, ass squeezing is not appropriate, even in a sports atta-boy setting. No. Those 2 are totally doing it, or soon to be. Someone needs to report that shit, stat!

      Reply

  11. becca
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 17:43:37

    It’s inappropriate no matter the age. The inherent problem is that as a teacher, coach, tutor, etc you are seen as a mentor and example of what being a “responsible, and dependable” adult is. You should be able to model that behavior for your students in a healthy and productive way. If you cannot, change professions, same thing for College Professors too! You can’t cross the line because young adults don’t need moral ambiguity. They need to know this is right, and this is wrong. They need to believe that there are trustworthy people out there, and they need strong role models to give them a solid base for helping them develop into the adults they will eventually be. They will have plenty of time to get into the gray areas of life, but for now, while their minds are still be shaped and formed, NO, teachers should NOT cross the line. The student may think whatever he or she wants, but the TEACHER is the ADULT and should act accordingly.

    Reply

    • Team Suzanne
      Nov 28, 2011 @ 17:56:09

      This becca lady is smart. She’s right. The last thing young adults need is moral ambiguity.

      Forget whatever bullshit I said. I’m with her now.

      Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 29, 2011 @ 15:40:52

      I agree that teachers need to be examples of adulthood, and this begins by not shagging their students! I would say that is somewhat morally ambiguous, to say the least. That is a very good way of looking at it, whether male or female. They are the adult in the situation and need to act like it, and be a role model, not troll for hot young ass.

      Reply

  12. thoughtsappear
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 19:04:06

    Teachers should definitely not mess with students.

    I’m going to become a vegan, so I can blame anything I do wrong on that.

    Reply

  13. hoodyhoo
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 08:12:25

    Looking back at my misspent youth, there were quite a few inappropriately-older guys I set my cap for… and with some of them, I succeeded. Now, as a grown ass woman, I can’t believe they actually reciprocated… and if I saw them on the street I’d probably yell, “PERVERT!” and kick them in the crotch. So, put me down for “Don’t Stand So Close to Me.”

    Reply

  14. socialassassin
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 09:21:03

    Regardless of whether a student is above the legal age of consent, no situation where sexual conduct takes place between a student and a teacher is acceptable. Not only is it an abuse of the trust invested in the teacher by his/her employers, it sends the wrong kind of message about, as Becca succinctly put it, the ‘moral ambiguity’ of the situation. Although many teenagers and even young adults may feel that they have reached the end of their emotional maturity, its only with the hindsight of age that we can see just how much our experiences at that age still help formulate our characters in adult life. To permit this to happen, whether consensual or not, indicates that there is no boundary of seperation between someone entrusted with the mental and physical development of our children and a sleazy nightclub pick-up artist. The casual acceptance of such liasons would lead to a complete loss of faith by the majority of parents in the sanctity of their children under the influence of all kinds of figures of authority.
    As to why society seems to feel this is more acceptable when the teacher is a woman, I suspect that this is simply because statistics show that over 85% of sexual predators and paedophiles are men, hence society sees the older man as a more ‘threatening’ prospect. However I am sure that there is no such 85/15% split in the encounters that DO occur, and feel personally that the sex of the person commiting the offence is far less relevant than the betrayal of trust they have displayed.
    Sorry, that turned out to be quite an essay, didn’t it??! It’s ok though, because my soapbox used to contain vegan food, and I’m quite clearly insane. Excuse me, it’s time for my next ass, I mean class…….

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 29, 2011 @ 16:12:58

      Wow, that was quite the treatise. But thank you for weighing in. I think you are the only male person who has responded, and I was super curious as to what the male persuasion’s POV would be. Except for my hubs, who has made his point quite clear (a part of me hopes he was being at least somewhat tongue in cheek, but I highly doubt it).

      I knew you were a vegan! That explains all those crazy ramblings on your blog, err, I mean, brilliant blog posts. 🙂

      Really, though, I appreciate your thoughts on the matter. Good stuff there, and I completely agree.

      Reply

  15. bluntdelivery
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 15:29:48

    ok. um

    well ok. i see your husbands point that most high school guys WOULD think it’s cool. but that by no means makes it ok for a teacher to have sex with them. The point is they are stupid high schoolers with raging hormones and low self esteem and they aren’t able to think through things logicallly – which is why they shouldn’t be having sex with anyone frankly.

    Anyway, the adults are the ones who should be protecting and looking out for the kids. and sleeping with them is not doing anyone favors.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Nov 29, 2011 @ 16:16:05

      No, there is no possible way that those boys had the mental capacity to say no to that teacher. Like the hubs said, at the time, they thought they won the lottery. But I do think it will have some long standing effects on them, once in hindsight they realize how thoroughly she used her position of authority and preyed on their male libidos to take advantage of them. It is just wrong, no matter how you look at it.

      Reply

  16. elizabeth- flourishinprogress
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 16:58:21

    SUCH an interesting topic.

    Personally, I don’t think it’s okay whatever the sex of the adult. To me, part of it is about the sex, but most of it is about the power trip of an adult who should know better. I’ll stop right there. I don’t want to say anything that involves the use of many many four letter words.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Dec 02, 2011 @ 09:34:42

      You are free to use as many four letter words as you wish on my site. This is a safe place, Elizabeth.

      And good point about the power trip. I think it is similar to rape, where it is not really about the sexual encounter, but more about control. Same thing here.

      Reply

  17. Wag the Dad
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 06:43:53

    I think that the issue here is whether or not both boys and girls at 17 are capable of making sexual choices with adults. That’s the only thing that should be at issue here, and not the gender of those involved.

    Did those 17 year old boys want to have sex with their teachers? Of course they did. But the thing is, I highly doubt that most cases of 17 year old girls having sex with THEIR teachers involves open coercion, either. If it’s illegal for a male teacher to have sex with a 17 year old female student, then it should be just as illegal for a female teacher to have sex with a 17 year old boy. And the sentencing should be the same (it’s not).

    Otherwise, what kind of picture are we painting? Boys are capable of making sexual decisions at an early age, whereas girls are not? Boys are more mature than girls at 17 (they’re not, everybody knows that). Boys can deal with emtional stress of this nature because they are, inherently, men? That’s not true, either. Researchers have found that, when comparing girls’ and boys’ experiences with recovering from sexual abuse, by far and away were the girls more capable of overcoming trauma, because they were more apt to go out and talk to it, i.e. actually admit, that they had issues with what had happened to them.

    To me, it’s hands down. No question.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Dec 02, 2011 @ 09:37:43

      Hmm, interesting. So basically, because girls are more apt to recover emotionally, are you saying that the laws should be stricter the other way? It is an intereting point, but I think the general perception is and will remain that a man taking advantage of a young girl is wrong and creepy, while a woman having sex with a young boy is not as bad, because boys/young men really want to have sex all the time, so it’s not as much preying on them as it is on girls. I don’t think this is true, but I definitely think society as a whole perceives it this way.

      Reply

  18. Wag the Dad
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 06:45:10

    P.S. Please correct all of my grammatical / stylistic errors, Misty, and also the typos. And no, I’m not drunk, just wayy smarter than my typing speed.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Dec 02, 2011 @ 09:40:53

      Sure, Shane. Do you want me to just go ahead and write all your comments for you from now on as well? I think what you are looking for is an editor, and I hear they charge a pretty good sum for their services. Just leave the cash on the nightstand, as usual, but stop with all the pennies. They are useless.

      That is . . . unless I become Mrs. Wag the Dad, then as your better half, I guess I would be required to help you out in those matters. Just throwing that out there. 🙂

      Reply

  19. The Real Dave
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 09:26:30

    Teachers should not be having sex with their students, no matter the age. It’s unprofessional and wrong. No teacher on ANY level (be it high school, college, or adult school) can effectively teach their students if they’re screwing them. Professional and personal lives here should be kept separate. End of story.

    That being said, I’m not so sure she should have been criminally charged if the law allowed consensual sex over the age of 16. Okay, it WAS incredibly icky to invite her students over for sex, no matter what their age, and this woman obviously has numerous issues that should preclude her being a teacher. But I think there needn’t be a specific law barring sexual contact between teachers and students, it should instead be an administrative rule with the school district. And no doubt she shouldn’t be working in the schools if she can’t keep her hands off her students, regardless of the age. But the “over 16 okay, unless you’re a teacher and they’re a student” law is a bit overdoing it.

    And yes, I’m a Van Halen fan and I remember “Hot For Teacher” clearly in my high school days. But I always visualized even the hot teachers as professionals in charge of my education, and that pretty effectively fizzled any carnal desires I had for them. Besides, there were plenty of female peers in school that were my age for my horny 15-year-old self to lust after…

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Dec 02, 2011 @ 10:09:27

      See, I agree with the Ohio law. I think there should be a criminal consequence for having sex with a student. I think there is an element of pedophilia in preying on younger people that you have been charged with educating and caring for on a daily basis. These teachers see the students more than the parents do sometimes, so they are also like parental figures, as a previous poster mentioned. I think there needs to be a higher standard, and yes, I do believe that standard should involve criminal sanctions.

      Reply

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