Neo Maxi Zoom Dweebie

A couple months ago, I heard a report about a woman in Illinois who died from injecting beef fat into her face.  Apparently it was supposed to help make her look younger or something, and this wasn’t the first time she had done it.  This is the article:

Huffington Post:  Woman Dies after Injecting Beef Fat

The story was later updated to report that the beef fat injection was not what actually killed her.  However, I can’t help but think that injecting beef fat into your face is not necessarily healthy.  Then again, what is Botox but putting poison into your face so that it won’t move or allow expressions?  But no wrinkles, so hey!  Soooo pretty now!!

Anyway, after hearing this story, it got me thinking.  Of course, at first all I could think about was that she had a “Hot.  Beef.  INJECTION.”  I’m thinking Bender had a different idea of what that phrase meant at the time.

But now, I’m starting to think that maybe putting things in your face to make you look young isn’t such a bad idea.  Time isn’t exactly on my side at this point, and I ain’t looking any younger, ya know?  And after all, it wasn’t the hot beef injection that killed her.  So I’m sure it has to be safe, right?  Hmm, maybe I should think this over a bit more.  Or maybe, I should try some other type of liquid injection . . .

Ever put anything weird or wacky into your face/body?  Did you die?  Lose an appendage?  Become mute? 

I ask because I think I should probably know this before I shoot kool-aid into my veins to make me have super powers and be able to break through walls, right?

Oh, Yeah!!

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19 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Leauxra
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 11:15:54

    When I was about 10 or so, I watched the movie Bright Lights Big City (the one where the guy from Family Ties is a cocaine addict? Hey, we had HBO, don’t judge), and my friends and I got it into our heads to snort some Kool Aid. Does that count?

    1) Your snot will be dyed for a MONTH if you do this.
    2) Do NOT snort crystal light. Ow.
    3) Saccharine is a numbing agent, just so you know.

    I don’t know if any of these things will make you appear younger.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Dec 20, 2011 @ 12:58:12

      I totally saw that movie when I was a kid as well. I don’t remember much except that it was very dark and very sad. Oh, and wasn’t Joan Jett his sister or something? I might have that wrong. I remember no details about that film.

      I kinda want to try it now just so I can have blue snot for a month. That would be hella cool during flu and cold season. At least something about that would be funny. And it would freak my kids right the hell out, which would be an added bonus!

      Reply

  2. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 12:51:47

    Be sure you have the right type before you do it! If your Kool-Aid type is grape, and you inject cherry, there are serious health consequences.

    Reply

  3. thoughtsappear
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 13:07:52

    I was just about to comment on the flavors of Kool-Aid, but Carrie beat me to it. Be careful of what flavor you choose. I don’t want you to end up like Violet in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory and turn into a blueberry or something.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Dec 20, 2011 @ 13:07:31

      Hmm, so I guess I would have to pick a flavor with a color complimentary to my skin tone is what you are saying? Do they have a peach flavor? I’m already round, pretty much, so I don’t think I have to worry about becoming fruit shaped at least.

      Reply

  4. Jen
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 13:20:56

    I smoked oregano at cheerleading camp one year. Didn’t get a buzz, but developed a sudden craving for Sbarro.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Dec 20, 2011 @ 13:09:11

      Ha! That’s pretty funny. Although, from what I hear from people who are not me who have smoked things, you pretty much get that craving regardless. I’ve been told. No personal experience here. Nope. Move along, now.

      Reply

  5. lazysubculturalgirl
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 13:37:22

    I’ve never been inclined to snort or smoke anything — ok, I tried cigarettes in college. All the smoke came out of my nose, and I looked like a dragon. A really, really lame dragon.

    I’m pretty sure the only way you should inject anything into your face is via your mouth. I’m not even a fan of Botox — they’ve found if you freeze your facial muscles, then you lose the ability to feel some of your emotions. Oh wait, that might be a good thing for drama queens. Heck, I dunno. Do what you want, but stay away from the Kool-aid.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Dec 20, 2011 @ 13:11:23

      Well, I definitely inject plenty of stuff into my mouth. That is the problem. And I don’t think I could get much more stoic, so probably best to avoid the injections of botox for now. Still not sure that kool aid wouldn’t make me super cool, though!

      Reply

  6. hoodyhoo
    Dec 20, 2011 @ 07:03:51

    Firstly, Leauxra is TOTALLY RIGHT — take our word for it. And I put things in my face all the time… cheese, chicken, ham, mashed potatoes, etc… and apparently it DID put me in the hospital… who knew?

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Dec 20, 2011 @ 13:13:16

      I also put all of those things into my face on a daily basis. So far, my organs have not decided to attack. Although I do have a watchful eye on my ever growing ass. That thing is getting too big to not be up to some shenanigans. Stay tuned.

      Reply

  7. bschooled
    Dec 20, 2011 @ 12:01:54

    I seriously can’t stop laughing at “Hot. Beef. Injection.”

    Probably because I’m twelve.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Dec 20, 2011 @ 13:15:31

      She’s back! Ahh, you do still love me . . .

      I am obviously in the same grade as you, as I made the correlation and thought it was funny enough to post about. Wanna sit with me in homeroom and pass notes about the cute boy in second period and discuss the very serious topic of who’s hotter . . . Edward or Jacob?

      Reply

  8. Sandra
    Dec 21, 2011 @ 00:30:11

    No no no no no Kool-Aid! I agree, Bender’s hot beef injection would probably be mildly…ok, VERY enjoyable, but Kool-Aid will probably only leave your face with a red tinge and a sugar rush. Might as well just eat chocolate.

    Reply

  9. karen something (@karensomething1)
    Dec 21, 2011 @ 09:43:50

    I’ve been dying to get to this post FOR DAYS, because you had me at the title. I am a FREAK for Breakfast Club. Flipping love that movie, so now, whether we like it or not, you and I are kindred spirits 🙂

    Ugh. I think I’ll live with myself the way I am, lumps, bumps, wrinkles, pms jowls and all.

    Reply

  10. Charity
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 14:47:11

    Hot. Beef. Injection.

    Oh. Mah. Gawd.

    Reply

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