So, most of you don’t know this, but my hubs fancies himself a pretty funny guy.  He is big on the joke gifts. Along with that, he is also super generous to the extreme. Which is a problem, sometimes.  Our normal Xmas looks like this:  presents for Misty, totaling in the thousands of dollars…..Misty having to choose which of the super awesome gifts to return because we just can’t afford to spend all that money (last year = Wii, year before = Coach bag, etc.).  So, although it is very sweet of him to want to buy me vast amounts of swag, it also makes me very sad when I have to choose which too expensive items to keep & which to return.

This year, I attempted to nip that in the bud.  I requested one item, and one item only:  a laptop.  See, I never ask for anything, which usually gets him in trouble, because there are no parameters. This year, I made it clear what I wanted.  I even said, “it doesn’t have to be an iPad or even a MacBook or anything.  Just a simple laptop.”

So, based on that, I was pretty sure of what I would be getting Xmas morning. What I wasn’t sure of was what else would be under the tree…… This is what I got:



This is actually pretty cool.  And no, it was not a present for the kids.  It was specifically for me.  I think I remember having one of these as a kid.  Either that, or one of my childhood friends did and I just remember playing with it.  Anyway, it’s kind of awesome.

Monster hands . . . rowr!!
For those of you sans kiddies, you might not know what this is.  Those with crotch monsters will obviously recognize Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba fame.  The hubs got me these gloves.  Thoughtful, because of course now I can look like a homeless crazy person, but still have access to my iPhone.  What a sweet gift!
Next, the hubs combined the love of my favorite sports team, with my love of wearing clothing that covers my ass.  Well, he got the first part right, anyway…….

Go Ravens!! Caw Caw!

I better be!

As if this thing would even cover half of my massive derierre . . . hence the joke part of the gift.  The hubs said when he first stopped into VS, they had ones that said “Here’s your halftime show,” but when he returned to get them, they were sold out.  Raise your hand if you think there are people out there wearing these things unironically.  Yep, I see all of you.  Sad world, no?
Next, of course, came the reading material.  The hubs knows that I love to read.  He always supplies me with some fine books as gifts so that I can sustain my insatiable appetite for literature.  Here are the selections he chose this Xmas:

Sage advice, really.



And the best for last . . . . .
How did this happen???
I know y’all are super jealous of my highly educational and entertaining literary works up there.  When I finish perusing them, I promise to share if you are nice to me, ok?
He also gave my son a joke gift as well:

My little wolf.

And just so you know . . . the hubs isn’t immune to getting some joke gifts himself.  Mine were relatively tame (a Justin Beiber movie and a Lady Gaga one as well . . . oh, and I wrapped every one of his presents in Justin Beiber wrapping paper), but there is an ongoing gift exchange between him and his nephew (who is my age).  Usually his nephew gives us something crazy and then a real gift.  We do the same for him.  It all started many years ago with a pink hoody that said “I like boys” with hearts on it, that the hubs gave to his nephew.  It has evolved over the years.  This year, the hubs gave his nephew a Marshmallow thong and Sponge Bob rain boots.  I gave him a “girls night out” movie pack of “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,” “What a Girl Wants,”  and . . . 2 more very girlie movies I can’t remember.  This is what he gave my husband:

Looks like a fun evening . . .

Nothing says Merry Christmas like 2 thongs and Blaxploitation videos!
Ok, now on to the real gifts.  The hubs done did good this year for me.  This was my real gift:
My precioussssss!!
Yep.  IPad.  It is pretty awesome.  Although the entire reason I wanted a laptop was so I could sit in front of the TV and also blog, and it is giving me some problems with that.  I can’t seem to upload any pics from it to WordPress.  Anyone with an IPad & WordPress have any ideas for me?
Oh, and of course I also got this:
Mmmmm . . . coffeeeeee!!!
So, yeah, he did good.  Plus, there wasn’t anything really overly extravagant that I have to return (yes, I know about the IPad.  Let me live in blissful self-delusional ignorance, ok?).  There were a few returns that occurred, small things, but I am gonna get to that in a later post.  Stay tuned.
So, what did you get for Xmas?  What was your most favoritest thing?  Any gag gifts you wanna share with the class?

21 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thoughtsappear
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 08:58:13

    Hurray for the iPad! I love all the joke gifts, too. Does your hubs know about the Dunkin Donuts guy and all your extra straws?


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 01, 2012 @ 21:41:28

      Yep, he totally knows. I am all about full disclosure. Plus, he is the least jealous person I’ve ever known in my life, so he just finds it entertaining.


  2. Seraphinalina
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 09:33:55

    There are ongoing gift wars between my husband and two brothers. My youngest brother gave middle brother a “bacon strips” shirt from Epic Mealtime It’s a very fitting gift as they both like Epic Mealtime. The strange part is that he wrapped it in 4 packages of bacon. Literally. He cooked the bacon into a lattice weave and wrapped the (well sealed) tshirt in bacon with a string so it looked like a 4lb Christmas ornament of bacon.


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 01, 2012 @ 21:43:47

      Love that shirt. More importantly, Jen would love that shirt! 🙂

      That is some very creative gift giving with the bacon ornament. That takes some creativity. I love ongoing gag gifting!


  3. cornfedgirl
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 09:55:27

    I love the gag gifts! And obviously the ipad is awesome. I recently had to replace my computer and thought about a tablet- my girlfriend told me that they have portable keyboard with a stand so it turns into a laptop of sorts….. maybe check that out?
    I got a new laptop and a guitar (which I have been wanting for about 2 decades so that I can learn to play). Brock gets high marks for this Christmas!
    Too bad I sliced my knuckle to the bone on my left hand two days after getting the guitar…. I’m an idiot.


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 01, 2012 @ 21:47:43

      I did actually get a keyboard thing for it as well. The hubs was very forward thinking. I need to return the one he got me though, but I already got another one and just have to get used to typing on the smaller keyboard.

      Yay for new laptop and guitar! Those are awesome gifts. Not yay for not being able to play with them because of injury. No more idiot injuries, ok? I don’t like it when you hurt my Johi. Are we gonna have to have a chat?


  4. Jen
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 11:47:12

    Want the Brobee gloves; those are BANK! I envision you dancing around wearing those and singing “There’s a Party In my Tummy (So Yummy! So Yummy!)” This Xmas was all about the girly shite for me: Estee Lauder makeup case, Prada handbag, and (of course) my pink Nathan Fillion bumper sticker. SQUEE!!!!


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 01, 2012 @ 21:49:31

      Wait. Who told you about the dancing? Shit.

      Yeah, whoever got you that awesome pink Nathan Fillion sticker is super thoughtful and obviously a fantastic friend!! 🙂


  5. Vesta Vayne
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 13:30:42

    Innocent Secretary…Accidentally Pregnant.

    Awesome. Please post a review of it when you’re done.

    You’ve got yourself a good man. And also, I am way jealous of you retro record player!!


  6. Charity
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 13:53:37

    I would probably read those books, and enjoy them. lol


  7. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 14:03:32

    “Innocent Secretary…Accidentally Pregnant” is the laziest, most wonderful romance novel title ever!


  8. wcdameron
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 17:30:28

    Dunkies!! I would have loved that gift.

    I got a tin of popcorn, “the Blindisde” video and a scratch ticket from a yankee swap. All that was missing was a yankee candle and some booze. Gotta love New England…..


  9. Kernut the Blond
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 17:40:37

    Great, funny gifts! I want and iPad!! And the thong undies.

    I ask for cash. That’s the best gift – when I actually get that. Otherwise I end up with a useless kitchen appliance. Seriously, do I look like I cook??

    Happy New Year!


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 01, 2012 @ 21:59:05

      Are you a Ravens fan? Because I believe that is a pre-requisite for wearing the undies.

      Yeah, um, no. You don’t look like you cook. And can you even put kitchen appliences in the motor home?

      Happy New Year to you as well!!


  10. lazysubculturalgirl
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 17:58:03

    I got a cover stitch machine, which I asked for, plus cash from my grandmother and a black running windbreaker from my mom. We keep it simple for Christmas around here.

    Now I’m envious of your gag gift concept. I think we need to steal this! Maya Banks is one of my favorite over-the-top steamy writers, and last year the Hubs got me a bunch of Kelley Armstrong’s stuff so I was able to start her Bitten series and Dime Store Magic series. I am not a Harlequin girl, though. Did you know there is a random Harlequin title generator somewhere on the net? I ran across it once and had a great time making shit up. “The Millionaire Sheikh’s Virgin Bride….et cetera.”


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 01, 2012 @ 22:05:46

      Ha! That title generator thing is awesome and hysterical.

      Speaking of books, I wanted to let you know that I just started the Eyre Affair, which I believe was one of your recommendations on Liz’s site a while back. I am finding it quite interesting and delightful thus far. I LOVE the names . . . Analogy, Jack Schitt, Styx & Acheron, Stoker! (I’m sure there’s plenty more that I’m just missing the allusion to). Also, I want a Dodo. The End.


  11. Phoenix Rising
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:13:08

    I can’t wait to hear what happened to the innocent secretary… it’s killing me!


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