Whip It, Whip It Good

Raise of hands . . . who here has seen the movie Whip It?  Drew Barrymore . . . Ellen Page . . . Roller Derby?  No?  Well, if you have not see the movie, first of all, you should.  It was really good.  If you have seen the movie (and enjoyed it), you are probably going to enjoy this post.  Because it is all about the Roller Derby!!

I had the chance to once again meet my fellow blogger, Thoughtsy of Thoughts Appear, and this time we stepped it up a notch.  We made our date meeting happen at a Roller Derby in downtown Baltimore.  So, when we decided to go to the Roller Derby, we both had visions of tough, scantily clad, punk rock chics racing around and taking each other out with a well placed elbow or hip or foot, with lots of blood and bruises . . . such as the movie prepared us to expect.  Once again, though, those silly hollywood peeps raised our expectations.  What we encountered was nothing like the violently hardcore depiction of this sport as dramatized in that movie.

What we ended up seeing, though, was a really fun sport with some very talented and athletic ladies who employed more skill and strategy than brute force.  Here’s how it goes . . .

Seriously . . . read this shit. It will explain much better than I can.

Once Thoughtsy and I understood what we were watching (there is definitely a learning curve), we really started to enjoy the bouts.  It was a really fun and different experience.

Check out this Roller Derby video that I recorded.

What I probably enjoyed the most from the entire experience (except for the crazy people I saw and took pics of . . . of course . . . coming soon to a weekly whacked near you!!), were the players’ and referees’ names!  Here were some of the best ones:

  • I.M. Pain
  • CC Bang Bang (who’s number was 9mm)
  • Crowella De Vil
  • Trixy Von Doom
  • Holly Go Hardly
  • Deathany
  • Feral Kat
  • Winnie the Shrew
  • Collene Oscopy

And my (and Thoughtsy’s, I believe) personal favorite:

  • Nuckin Futz

Let me tell you, the announcers at one point actually congratulated themselves for their repetitive correct saying of that girl’s name.  There were kids there.  One slip and it all could have gone terribly wrong!

Dirty Marty . . . our sure-tongued glittery announcer.

Of course, this led to discussion as to what Thoughtsy and I thought our Roller Derby names should be.  We had some trouble coming up with anything.  Anybody have any ideas??

The refs names were as good, if not better:

– Serial Kilter:

– Professor Murder:

– Loch Ness Tomster:

– Chris’d Off:

– H.R. Rufnstuf:

– Vanna Down By the River:

And, in case you were wondering, no . . . this is not the only example of women at the derby who were super comfortable with their bodies and who were shoved into way too tiny short shorts or skirts.  I say Bravo to them.  I would never have the guts to wear something like that. 

There were 2 “bouts” scheduled that night (a bout is like a match or game in other sports).  The first was between two undefeated teams:  the Night Terrors vs. the Speed Regime.  The Night Terrors wore blue and white, the Speed Regime green/orange.  Not the most flattering of uniform colors, unfortunately.

(Please understand that all of the pics of the races are incredibly blurry as they were going much too fast for my poor little iPhone to capture.  Add to that a huge ceiling-to-glass partition net blocking our view and the pics are hopeless.  But I will show you the best of the bunch, just so you can get an idea . . .).

This is the Speed Regime warming up:

Night Terrors:

Let the bout begin!!



As I said, there was not a lot of violence, more maneuvering around the other skaters with an occassional hip check here and there (totally legal, by the way), but there was one moment where 2 of the Speed Regime skaters somehow got tangled up with each other, resulting in one somehow getting injured enough to crawl off the field and need some medical attention.  She was ultimately just fine, but while she was laying on the ground, being looked over by medical professionals, all of the players, and even the refs, were incredibly respectful:

Everyone got down on one knee waiting for the girl to be treated.

Then, it was right back to the bout:

At one point, the bout was all tied up:

But not for long . . . the Speed Regime, while an excellent team, was no match for the Night Terrors.  Especially, Crowella de Vil, who seemed to be their best Jammer.  By the end of the bout, the Night Terrors had run away with it, with the score resembling one at a basketball game.

Once the bout between those two teams ended, it was halftime.  On deck were two more teams ready to do battle.  But first . . . cupcake eating contest!!

And let me tell you . . . I almost had to hold Thoughtsy back from running up there and volunteering her services for that contest.  She is such a joiner!!

The next bout was between 2 teams with much better outfits (Uniforms?  Costumes?).  It was a bout between the Junkyard Dolls (in pink/black) . . .

. . . and the Mobtown Mods (in red/white):

(Note that we are now down on the floor watching this bout, but they were still moving a bit too fast for my iPhone to keep up.  No netting, though, so there’s that at least!).

Bout on:



Unfortunately, these two teams were not undefeated, as was evident by the greater amount of falling down that they were doing, and by the incredibly mismatched score after only about a half hour into the bout.  So, at that point, Thoughtsy and I decided we had our fill of Roller Derby for the evening, and did what anyone would do at that point . . . we went to get some pie:

One of the items on Thoughtsy’s list of 35 before 35, is to have some pie at Dangerously Delicious Pies, which just happened to be a couple blocks away from the Roller Derby arena.  So, obviously we had to go there after the derby . . .  

These pies have been featured on the Food Network, on several different shows, and are supposed to be the best pies in all the land.  I had obviously never heard of them.  However, if they are good enough for Elvis, then I’m game:

I ordered the Baltimore Bomb, which is a pie with a vanilla custard base and melted Berger cookies on top.  What’s that?  What on earth is a Berger cookie, you say?  Oh, you poor sweet soul.  It is only the most famous and delicious of the locally made cookies.  With a vanilla wafer bottom and an abundance of the richest and most delicious chocolate fudge on top (seriously peeps, it’s like 1/3 cookie to 2/3 chocolate . . . so flipping good!).

So, here was the pie made from these wonderfully scrumptious delicacies:

I figured a pie made of delicious cookies could not be wrong, right?  Nope.  It was just ok.  It tasted a little like a coconut cream pie, which I guess was the vanilla custard, and I really couldn’t taste the very distinct Berger cookies.  Which was a shame.  I had very high hopes, which also might have been part of the problem.  I probably should have gone with the chocolate peanut butter now that I think about it . . .

Thoughtsy got the mixed berry, and the very sweet guy who served us our pies thought that the pie he gave her was the wrong kind, so he threw in an extra . . . for free.  That’s right . . . if you are keeping count, that would now be three slices of pie for the 2 of us:

Now, I love anything free.  But unfortunately, neither of us were a fan of the mixed berry crumb pie.  I do believe Thoughtsy enjoyed her mixed berry, though:

And yes, it was actually the correct pie after all.  And it was good enough that she even ate almost all of the crust.  Which everyone knows is just a holster for all the pie filling goodness.  So, that must have been some good pie!  (Read Thoughtsy’s review of her pie here).

So, all in all it was a very enjoyable night.  Another fun outing with Thoughtsy.  Now, to figure out where we will go next . . . hopefully we will find some other fun and interesting place to go before we meet up in New York for BlogHer in August!  I don’t know if I can make it that long without another Thoughtsy fix!  🙂

31 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’ on a Roller Skate « Thoughts Appear's Blog
  2. thoughtsappear
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 08:52:51

    I’m glad that you want to see me again even though I didn’t put out on our 3rd date. =)

    If only they didn’t already have 3 volunteers, I’d have totally killed at the cupcake eating contest…and then after the pie and other sweets I had that day, I’d have slipped into a sugar coma, and you would have had to drag me around in a wheelbarrow.

    Now that I think about it…let’s make that happen next time. That would be excellent blog material.


  3. Bob the Water Cat
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 09:01:07

    1. Mist Me.
    2. Twisty Misty.


  4. red
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 09:36:23

    Misty-meanor. Not knowing Thoughtsy’s real name, I can’t think of one for her.

    …I may be back later with something for Thoughtsy…

    That’s a shame that two of the three pies from a famous pie place did not meet your expectations. Hm…we have a place here called “Cake Bar”. I was very pleased with their desserts! (When you’re out visiting your parents, you should check it out.)


    • mistyslaws
      Mar 16, 2012 @ 12:11:38

      Wow! Misty-meanor is perfection!! I love that so much. Thank you.

      Although, the more I think about it, I am pretty possitive that there has to be a girl out there already named something like Miss De Meaner or something. I mean, really, that name is just awesomesauce.

      Where is this Cake Bar place exactly? I avoid parental visits, but if it’s that good, I might have to make an exception. Was it that good?


  5. erica
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 09:51:56

    I beg to differ. I believe a quality crust is what really makes a good pie. Sounds like an awesome night!


    • mistyslaws
      Mar 16, 2012 @ 12:12:37

      I agree. I am usually a big fan of crust. My crust was too hard and thin to cut through with my plastic fork, though, so that was a crust fail in my book.


  6. Christian Emmett
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 09:59:15

    I’m with Red on Misty-meanor, that’s a great name! I could only come up with Naughty Thoughts maybe for Thougtsy, but it’s midnight here now and I should really be sleeping so I blame that for my lack of creativity.

    What an awesome post, I’ll have to go and see the roller derby one day. We have it here in Brisneyland but I haven’t been yet. I’ll have to rally the troops and get along!


  7. Kelly
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 10:06:24

    How fricking awesome! I’m sorry the pie wasn’t exactly up to par, but hey – roller derby and pastries? That’s a dream date, girls!


    • mistyslaws
      Mar 16, 2012 @ 12:14:35

      Yes, it was quite dreamy! I’ve definitely had worse dates, that’s for sure. Even though I didn’t even get a kiss goodnight from Thoughtsy. Hmph!


  8. Leauxra
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 10:21:27

    I LOVE roller derby! My sister actually got a kit so she can try out at some point (skates, pads, helmet)… I think she’s Nuckin’ Futz.

    I’ve gone twice, both times riding on the PARTY bus down to Denver (meaning I get to drink beer on the way there!). SOOOOOooo much fun.


    • mistyslaws
      Mar 16, 2012 @ 12:21:44

      Nice word play. Bravo. And I agree.

      Although, they kept talking about people trying out. I think Thoughtsy would be great because she is athletic, but she doesn’t think her hips would fit into spandex. I think you need some hips to hip check those chicas out of the way personally.

      Oh man. I was driving (plus had a cold), so no drinking. I can imagine that it would be much more exciting with a few beverages.


  9. Becca
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 14:07:35

    I had high hopes for the pie too! Especially because I love love love cookies…. BOO. But roller derby looks fun. I’m too uncoordinated to try it, but I bet it was fun to watch. Please come to San Diego so we can have a date. That is all. xoxo


    • mistyslaws
      Mar 16, 2012 @ 12:23:56

      I know! The guy ordering in front of us could not gush enough about how good it was, too. Hmmm, maybe if it was heated and had ice cream, it would have saved it. Alas, mine was cold and dry. Boo is right.

      It was super fun to watch. Yeah, I would fall on my ample bottom numerous times if I tried that shiz.

      I love SD!! Do they have roller derby? Who cares. You buy me a ticket, and you have a date! 😉


  10. jen
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 15:03:59

    So…much…jealousy! When I hook up with you two in August there will be pie. Oh yes…there WILL be pie. And maybe I’ll bring my skates so we can reenact ‘Whip It’ in the streets of Manhattan. I already have my name picked out: Jen-O-Cide. Holla!


    • mistyslaws
      Mar 16, 2012 @ 12:27:34

      Well, now I just feel dirty. Oh, you meant real pie. My bad. 😉

      I would pay good money to see Jen o cide skating down the streets of manhattan. Please bring spandex and fishnets as well. It wouldn’t be complete without them!


  11. red
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 17:27:19

    I’ve been returning to a roller-derby name for Thoughtsy all day…maybe something beginning with a “see” sound tacked onto the end of Thoughtsy, but I still got nothin’. (“Thoughtsywhat-you-made-me-do”, “Thoughtsy-gull”?, “Thoughtsy-breeze”? See, nothing suits.)

    Then I thought: ABSINTHE. Perfect name. That stuff will knock you on your a$$!


  12. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 17:30:49

    Sounds like a fun outing! I now know how roller derby works – I just love learning new things.


  13. atypicallyrelevant
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 20:50:51

    I’d totes be Mandi-monium, but roller derby, like hockey, is one of those sports I can’t participate in, lest I murder someone. If you ever get into the ring though, smash some bitches into the board for me.


    • mistyslaws
      Mar 16, 2012 @ 12:30:11

      Mandi-monium. Perfection.

      Oh, I could do some real damage with these hips, girl. It would just be the challenge of trying to stay upright long enough to knock some bitch down.


  14. Brett Minor (@brettminor)
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 23:53:22

    We saw that movie about a year ago and loved it. Also, roller derby has just started being played near here. We have been wanting to check it out. It sounds like a lot of fun.


  15. gojulesgo
    Mar 15, 2012 @ 10:09:43

    The pink and black uniforms are definitely the way to go!! And I can’t believe Thoughtsy didn’t join the cupcake-eating contest, LOL I’m trying to think of a roller derby name for you. A lot of things rhyme with Mist, not so much with Misty… Erm. Misty-Aken? (Miss Taken works better.) Fisty Misty is more of a porn name… I’ll work on it.

    This BlogHer conference sounds very intriguing… But really I just want to throw a party in a similarly fab location and invite all of the bloggers I follow!

    Looking forward to reading Thoughtsy’s take on the date now! 😉


    • mistyslaws
      Mar 16, 2012 @ 12:33:13

      Yes, the pink/black uniforms were the ultimate winners!

      If you don’t go to BlogHer, you should organize your own personal blogger conference. Let me know and I’ll be there!! 🙂


  16. Trackback: The Year of Living Dangerously « Misty's Laws

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