Convos with the Kiddos: Part Three

6:  Miranda Lambert sings like she looks and sounds like she talks.

Yeah, try to decipher that logic, would ya?

—————————————————————————————————

6:  I wish I could sing as good as Gotye, because then I’d win thousands of dollars.  And it would be all from ME.

I like this whole, trying to earn money for the family thought process he has going on.  But I’m thinking he’s going to have to find a different way to win money.  Singing isn’t gonna do it, unfortunately.

—————————————————————————————————

6:  I get to bring my art project home.

Me:  I can’t wait to see it.  What’s it of?

6:  Well, I was going to do a kid for me, but instead I did a queen . . . for you.

How flipping sweet is that kid?

—————————————————————————————————

3:  (Looking at my wedding album) Is this you when you got married?

Me:  Yes, it is.

3:  I know why you got married.

Me:  Oh yeah, why?

3:  Cuz everyone thought you were a princess!

How did I somehow convince my kids that I am royalty, and how can I continue this obviously accurate opinion of me?

————————————————————————————————–

3:  Babies don’t like daddies.

Me:  Why?

3:  Because they think they are dangerous.

Me:  Why do they think that?

3:  Because they do!

6:  Oooh, I know . . . because they are big and scary and have beards and mustaches.

3:  Babies only like mommies!  (big hug).

This coming from two boys who 9 out of 10 want to hang out with DADDY and have him put them to bed.  Huh.

_____________________________________________________

My 6 year old son has a girlfriend.  He has recently revealed this information to us.  He was looking at his class picture from this year . . .

6:  Look, girlfriend and boyfriend sitting together.  And that’s her 3rd boyfriend sitting beside me.

Me:  (Wait, what?)  She has 3 boyfriends?  (little whore!)

6:  Yeah, but I’m her first.

Me:  Do you have 3 girlfriends?

6:  No, just 2. 

Me:  (Oh, well that’s a relief!)  Who’s the other one?

6:  (Names a girl who lives across the street from us . . . a sixth grader!)

Me:  Does she know this?

6:  No.

Me:  Does (first girlfriend) know this?

6:  Um . . . no.

3:  YOU 2 ARE MARRIED!

6:  No, not yet.

Oh god, I’m not ready for wedding planning yet.  Can we wait until 5th grade, at least?  Thanks.

A bit later on, but following this convo . . .

6:  I really want to kiss her!

Me:  No kissing.  You are too young for kissing.  You can only hug her.

6:  But I kiss you!

Me:  You can kiss your parents . . . not your girlfriend.

In which I scar my son for life.  This is the moment I will look back on when he is 40 and still living in my basement.  Yikes!

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40 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jayne
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 11:41:48

    Ahahahahahahaha!!!!! Somehow most kids avoid any long term counseling, despite our best attempts!
    Love this!

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:15:24

      Thanks! And really, every kid’s gotta have something to blame their parents for in warping them in childhood, right? I feel it is my duty to give him proper ammunition! 😉

      Reply

  2. Vesta Vayne
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 12:22:38

    “and that’s her 3rd boyfriend, sitting beside me.”

    I laughed my butt off over that. Love!

    Reply

  3. thoughtsappear
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 12:25:31

    What am I doing wrong? Why don’t have 3 boyfriends?

    Reply

  4. Jaime
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 12:27:35

    they are adorable!

    Reply

  5. Jana
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 13:16:53

    Awww, that is super sweet!

    Reply

  6. gojulesgo
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 14:11:50

    hahaha I’m gathering that your son really can’t sing – I think this is the second time I’ve seen you mention it. Hilarious!

    You are definitely royalty. Hopefully not royalty with kids in the basement in 30 years. 😉

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:19:45

      Yeah, unfortunately his singing talents were inherited from his mother. Neither of us will ever win any singing competitions. 😉

      I think I would feel much less like a princess/queen with a kid having me do his laundry at 40.

      Reply

  7. jen
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 14:44:49

    My son informed me that he’s going to marry a boy someday so they can both take care of me. Gay son for the win, y’all! 🙂

    Reply

  8. red
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 15:04:29

    I love your Convos with the Kiddies! 6 is lucky he’s the oldest. When my brother was 5 and had his little girlfriend, my sister and I had a mock wedding for them out in the church playground. For years we thought they were really married.

    Reply

  9. atypicallyrelevant
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 15:46:24

    Your kids are adorable, but you’re going to have to rein the little pimp daddy in a bit. There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.

    Reply

  10. Andrea
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 15:46:31

    Love these! Can I refer my 14 year old to you for advice on dating a girl he has bevr met who lives in Georia…we live in NY. I guess the kissing is not a concern!

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:23:42

      Sure, send him on over. I am obviously doing a bang up job of raising my little polygamist. 🙂

      At least you don’t have to worry about the physical part all those states away. Bright side!!

      Reply

  11. Johi Kokjohn-Wagner
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 17:26:36

    ADORABLE. I love it!!!!

    Reply

  12. Inappropriately Nat (@natsnaughty)
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 18:22:21

    “I do what I want. Sometimes. Occasionally” is one of my son’s favorite sayings.

    Reply

  13. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 18:25:30

    Little bit of a “Junior Big Love” going on at the school there.

    Reply

  14. lazysubculturalgirl
    Apr 18, 2012 @ 23:31:14

    I’ve managed to get this far without having the whole “kissing families vs. kissing girlfriends” discussion. Although I remember Oldest in 4th grade:

    Him: “I have a girlfriend.”
    Me: “Oh, good. What’s her name?”
    Him: “I don’t think we’ve gone too far yet.”
    Me: (trying not to drive through the golf course and into the duck pond) “Well, have you kissed?”
    Him: “No.”
    Me: “Held hands?”
    Him: “No.”
    Me: “What HAVE you done??”
    Him: “Mostly we play tetherball at lunch.”

    Enjoy this age, they only get more amusing as they get older!

    Reply

  15. weezafish
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 09:05:21

    It always pays to have a back up plan, Or a back up girlfriend!

    Reply

  16. Brett Minor (@brettminor)
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 10:28:20

    Does he have an opinion on how many boyfriends is too many?

    Reply

  17. elizabeth- flourishinprogress
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 13:39:04

    Makes me want to have boys.

    My uterus and future stretch marks thank you.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 22, 2012 @ 14:31:36

      You’re welcome!! I’m glad the adorable nature of my boys is prompting you to get busy with the baby making!

      Feel free to name your boy after me as thanks . . . a boy named Misty has a certain ring to it, no?

      Reply

  18. Mayor Gia
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 08:00:26

    Hahhaah your kids are hilarious. And three boyfriends? 2 gfs? What kind of crazy polygamist lifestyle are these kids living?!?

    Reply

  19. mark
    Apr 22, 2012 @ 13:12:41

    I’m intrigued by the open relationships that are taking place in elementary school. Perhaps this is just the beginning of a wave of free thinking that generation will provide us, but only if they manage to launch from their parent’s basements.

    Reply

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