Welcome, my friends, to the weekly whacked. However, this is not an ordinary whacked. Oh no. This is actually your weekly whacked. Or at least those of you who submitted your very own examples of douchebaggery that you have seen and captured around your own home towns. You did this. These are your pictures. So, without further ado, here is what you did:
First off we have, as always, a stellar submission from Mandi of Atypically Relevant.
While I applaud this chic’s attempts to make her cause known, and an excellent cause it is, does she have to be so . . . demonstrative about it? It’s kinda like one huge bumper sticker, and you all know how I feel about that, right?
Next is my sister wife, the yin to my yang, the Ice to my T, the Toddlers to my Tiaras . . . it’s Jen from Jen e sais quoi. My homegirl spent an afternoon at the Portland Saturday Market, which is apparently ripe with the freaks, and saw some fine specimens of twatwaddledom.
What on earth? Now, I know I have previously said that leggings aren’t pants and that people need to cover up their bits, but this might be taking it to the extreme. It’s like she went into her closet and just put on . . . everything! Maybe she’s planning for the apocalypse and is trying to fit her entire wardrobe right on her body. Is she a Doomsday Preppers kinda gal? Hmmmm.
Seriously? What is this foolishness? $16 to make myself a gnome? Yeah, Imma go buy a nice bottle of wine instead, thanks.
The real game of Life, huh? I like how it says Lonely, Lonely, Lonely, Lonely, Lonely Evening. Like somehow it knows me or something? Shut up stupid “real Life” game. Pfft.
Ahhh!! There they are . . . leggings as pants! No. Make it stop. My eyes, my eyes!
Yes, this is in fact a grown woman, out in public, wearing head to toe rainbow clothing WITH RAINBOW WINGS!!! She wins at life. (I can just hear Jen saying, “yep, only in P-town, yo!”).
More from Jen, not at the Portland Saturday Market . . .
Of Course . . . or Off Course? Jen and I are wondering. Guesses?
Where the hell was this fluffy shit when I was an undergrad, huh? Damn. This is real, by the way. An actual class for credit at Jen’s school. Hmmm, I wonder if part of the syllabus focuses on the Nathan Fillion episodes . . .
While I explained to Jen that this is soooo 2010, and that the hip and now shirts should have Peeta and Gale on them (gah, as if!), Jen informed me that: “They’re a little behind here at the Hot Topic in Everett, Washington.”
And whilst you may believe that Jen is now targeting children with her camera phone, lest you worry, this is a “grown ass woman” who apparently is just stunted developmentally. Or maybe the twee pink children’s fairy backpack is a valiant but unsuccessful effort to cover up the fully exposed back of her white bra. But wait . . . there’s more:
Sparkly pink shoes to match the ensemble. Of course!
These next submissions are from my pal and buddy and lover of Pop Tarts, Thoughtsy from Thoughts Appear. Her submissions are all car related, as apparently that is the type of whackitude prevalent in her hood.
We actually scoped out this bad boy together when we got together for lunch and shopping a few months ago. In case you can’t make it out, it is a hearse with 3 zombie stickers on the rear of it and a license plate which says “blind.” Gotta love a morbid sense of humor.
The “Thundercats Car.” Look at the emblem on the side and the license plate. Seriously. Someone owns and drives this vehicle with that on it. Bizarro.
So . . . she’s a goat, who really likes to give blood and decorate her entire car with some sort of patchwork quilt drawings? Sure. Seems completely reasonable. Why not.
Next up is my friend Red from Doesn’t Speak Klingon. She went to Hershey Park and captured some pics of amusement park freaks . . .
Red describes this one as a Redneck Goth Chick. Even goth rednecks like to go on the Super Dooper Looper, I guess.
Well, since we are obviously a society that just allows people to run around in their pajama pants out in public, I wouldn’t assume that bedroom slippers at the amusement park should be considered out of the norm, right?
Very bright and colorful Nike sneakers waiting in line for rides. Albeit blocked a bit by fencing. I just wonder what type of kaleidoscope of clothing this one had on to match those suckers!
As always, Jana from Shut the Front Door is in the mix with some crazy pics:
Girlfriend stumbled upon this in some abandoned building she was checking out for her job. It begs the question . . . where is #2?
This is some disturbing shit right here. This was also found in one of those abandoned properties. Jana featured it on her site as well, but I felt it needed reposting. Not only is it a highly bizarre painted and apparently used (Ewww!) mannequin . . . Jana actually donned some rubber gloves (hope she’s had her shots!) and shipped this thing to Mandi! That’s right, Mandi (above) is now the proud owner of this piece of work. Why, Mandi? Why?
Next we have Jules from Go Guilty Pleasures, who captured just one picture, as she is new to this whole ninja photo thing. But she’s trying, bless her heart:
She claims that the real life travesty of this individual is not quite captured in photographic evidence. Or in her words: “I don’t think the picture does the whole foot situation justice. Those are GOLD, WEDGE-heeled sandals — with white socks!!!”
This submission made it in the nick of time. This is one of my blog stalkers, Sue Klopfenstein, who submitted these “on the road” pics:
This guy apparently just majorly scored at a big farm auction or something. Can you see the white truck all the way in front of all this? Yeah, quite the haul, dude.
The obvious question here is “why do you need a gas pump in front of a Permanent Makeup Center?” And while that is a valid question (Answer: what do you think that stuff is made of?), my question is more along the lines of “how does one accomplish drive-thru services for Permanent Makeup application?” The mind boggles.
Next we have a picture submitted by Michelle Cetlinski, in which she entitled it, “The Fuzzy Moto:”
Yes, apparently this was actually a motorcycle covered with furry tiger striped felt. Nothing says manly power like a furry cat themed bike. Me-rowr!!
In what might possibly be my favorite submission ever . . . I was sent a picture from Carrie of Cannibalistic Nerd fame. She took this picture just for me, so I feel all warm and special, of course. But what really sold it was the included commentary from her husband:
Tom: “I just have one question, where did she get HER hair done, because that would weigh heavily on my decision as to whether to visit Great Clips.” Carrie is 90% sure it is actually a woman. Me? I’m not so sure I would give it that high of a percentage.
Well, that’s it folks. Pretty good selection this time, I would say. Think you can do better? Seen some freaks and want to try to hunt them down and take their pics? You can still send me any picture you take that you would like to be featured on a future Weekly Whacked. I will once again be posting submitted pics sometime in the future, so keep those cameras handy and keep snap snap snapping away!! Happy Hunting, y’all. And may the odds be EV-AH in your FA-VAH.