(Psst . . . 6 is now 7. Ok then).
My oldest, talking to his dad about the restaurant they will eventually open:
7: And we’ll do good the first couple years, because those places on Restaurant: Impossible do well the first couple years.
I think every restaurateur should be forced to watch multiple episodes of that show, as a “what NOT to do” tutorial.
Talking about his girlfriend (yes, AGAIN):
7: She has a lot of boyfriends, but her and I are the top.
4: You want to kiss her all the time!
7: Yes, but I can’t or I’ll get in trouble. I can only kiss her on our wedding day when they say it’s ok. On your wedding day and on . . . .
I don’t know where he’s learning this stuff about kissing and weddings, but I approve!
Talking about how old you have to be to get married . . . yes, more wedding stuff. I don’t know.
7: The only way 4 could marry [the au pair] (who he loves and always says he’s going to marry), is if she were put in a block of ice until he grew up to be the same age.
Me: How would she get out?
7: Someone would pour lots of water on her. And sun.
Well, at least he has a plan, then.
That’s all from my oldest this time, but not to worry . . . my youngest was FULL of crazy talk recently . . .
Playing a game on his dad’s iPad, while his friend leans over to watch him:
4: Stop busting into my space!
4: What is the baddest thing in the world?
Me: I don’t know, what do you think?
4: Black bananas.
4: I want to be flat.
Me: What does that mean?
4: I want to be flat on the floor and not get up.
Me: And have people walk on you?
4: If you lay on the floor and pretend to be flat and people walk all over you, eventually you will be flat.
Makes perfect sense to me!
4: You know, shummy beans are inside green beans.
Yeah, no idea . . .
Me: Do you want a chocolate/peanut butter cupcake or a red velvet?
4: A red melmet.
4: You know when you are tired and you can’t go to bed, what that’s called?
Me: No, what?
4: Starved tired.
Me: Who told you that?
4: Nobody. I just knowed it!
4: I want to be a statue when I grow up?
Me: A statue?
4: Yeah, it’s really hard to be a statue. You have to break yourself down to build yourself up. And you have to be grey. You know . . . the color.
Hmmm. Well, it is important for him to have aspirations, I guess.
(This is the place in which I will remind you how completely and totally obsessed with all things Angry Birds my son is).
4: Do you know what the boomerwacker bird in Angry Birds does? He opens his mouth and it looks like he’s going to get the other Angry Birds, but he’s not.
He went away with my parents for a few days and they took him to a fair:
4: I rode rides and played games and won a piggy and a shark.
Me: An Angry Birds piggy or a regular piggy?
4: A piggy like from the farm.
4: Do you know what angry bird scares girls?
Me: Which one?
4: The black one. Because it turns red and then explodes!
And if you think I’m touching that one . . . nope!