Return of the Mack

Return of the Mack… is
Return of the Mack…..come on
Return of the Mack…..oh my God
You know that I’ll be back……here I am

Here I am! Yep, that’s right, I’m back. I know you have been desperately and anxiously awaiting my return from vacation. Sitting at your computer . . . repetitively refreshing your browser in hopes that I had posted a new blog entry. Not eating, sleeping, peeing . . . so afraid if you left your vigil of staring at your screen, that you might miss that first moment of my return and the greatly anticipated brilliance I was sure to spew into the interwebs. But fear not, loyal reader . . . you may return to living your life fully now!  I am back. You may finally rest. Go on and get yourself a sandwich. You are looking a little peaked. I wouldn’t want you passing out. I mean, you have to stay conscious so you can finish reading this work of art.

Wait . . . what was that?  You didn’t miss me at all?  In fact, you never even realized I was gone?  You’ve just been going along with your life all blithely and unaware of my absence in your world?  Oh man.  Well, this is awkward.  I thought we really had something special.  But I guess I was just a notch in your bed post, huh?  Fine then.  Be that way.

Anyway . . . whether you missed me or not, I am indeed back.  At least for a few days until I run off again for a fabulous holiday in New York for BlogHer.  But for now, let me tell you about my most recent fun filled vacation.  Or at least . . . the start of it.

It all began on a Friday afternoon.  My hubs had whisked my boys off to the beach the day prior, and they were waiting for me to join them at the end of the week once I finished my full and interminable work week.  So 4:00 rolls around and I jet out of that hateful place.  Aaaaannnnddd it’s raining.  Boo.  That is a non-auspicious start to my pending 3 hour drive.  But no matter.  Drive I must.  And before that happens . . . I must fill up with gas and snacks for my trip.

Necessary provisions for the road.

Once I am sufficiently replenished with all types of fuel, I get onto the highway . . . and immediately encounter this:

Great.  Friday afternoon rush hour traffic + slick rainy roads = ridiculous traffic.  Well, hopefully it will clear up once I finally make it out of the city.  But until then, I get to see this:

Hmmm, meeting my family for a lovely seafood dinner on the water at 7:00 as previously planned is not looking likely.  Bummer.

And it’s not like I wasn’t expecting any traffic on a Friday afternoon driving to the beach.  Usually, it gets a bit congested around Annapolis and right before the Bay Bridge, but once you get past the bridge, it is pretty much all gravy.  But unfortunately, I was nowhere near the bridge and was encountering this:

This.  This is not your normal traffic.  This is a problem.  This means I’ve only gone about 20 miles but have been in my car for over an hour.  And I am not moving.  It also means that those Cheddar & Sour Cream Chips that were supposed to be one of my snacks for the trip had no chance of survival and are already completely gone.  And those cookies aren’t looking like they’re gonna make it very long either.  Poor delicious cookies.

After inching along slowly, slowly, slowly . . . I finally came upon Annapolis.  And saw this:

That right there?  Not good.  Not good at all.  This is more than just traffic.  This has got to be some sort of massive accident.  Because I have never seen traffic this bad going to the beach.  And I’ve sat in plenty of traffic.  But this is ridiculousness, is what it is.

After inching along little by little, I finally finally reach the bridge.  Or at least the toll right before the bridge:

Grrrrr.  I later found out that there was indeed an accident that occurred on the bridge and that is why traffic was backed up so far and so horribly.  So I now just had to make it past the bridge.  Just get me on that bridge, dammit!!

There it is.  There is that wonderfully elusive bridge.  Finally!  I’ve only been in my car now for an hour and a half and have consumed an entire bag of chips, half a container of chocolate chip cookies and most of my water.  Being on this bridge was like finally reaching Narnia.  Or Terabithia.  Or something.  I don’t know, but it was really good.

Once I journeyed past the bridge, the road indeed did open up and the trip was smooth and easy from then on.  Thankfully.  It still took over 4 hours to drive what should have been a little over 2 and a half hours without traffic.  I estimated it would take me about 3 hours.  I underestimated, obviously.  Finally, though, I made it to the ocean and was able to see that beautiful view that I waited for hours to see:

And even though I wasn’t able to make it in time to go to the restaurant overlooking the bay that we had planned, the hubs decided to take the boys mini-golfing while I was struggling to get to them, and they finished up right before I got there, so I was able to have dinner with my family after all.  And the first order of business, once I finally peeled myself out of my car, was to order a much needed and much deserved cocktail.

Ahhhhh.  Let the vacation begin!  Now life is good.  Just don’t make me get back into that car for a while, deal?


27 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jen
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 10:02:24

    But at least we had each other for entertainment and some highly inappropriate ( and *cough cough* illegal) texting. Glad you made it back in one piece. You have exactly 72 hours to rally; you need your game face in full effect for NYC, yo. 😉


  2. Kelly Fox
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 13:17:46

    Dear Sweet magical Mimosas! You live near me. How the hell did I miss this? See? That’s the A.D.D. for ya? Anywho.. I hope your Vacation was fabulous!!!


  3. pegoleg
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 13:18:32

    Hey Misty, congratulations! Your entry is a finalist in the Peg-o-Clio Advertising Award contest! Get the vote out and soon, world-wide fame can be yours! Thanks for playing.

    I’ll pop by later to read about the vaca – I hate traffic!


  4. Vesta Vayne
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 14:49:37

    Oh yuck! Nothing like a wee bit o’ traffic to start off your vacation.

    Glad you made it to dinner with the fam!


  5. Mayor Gia
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 19:52:49

    Oh geez just THINKING about that traffic makes me wanna vom. Ick.


  6. Valerie
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 22:14:17

    I often hit traffic. But the traffic jams I hate the most are the spontaneous ones that are seemingly caused by nothing. I mean, I sit in this God forsaken traffic FOREVER and then it clears up. I always expect to see something… Bodies strewn across the road, a fender bender, or at least someone getting a damn speeding ticket. But every once in a while, there is just that traffic that is caused by absolutely nothing at all… and it makes me want to set the world on fire with my mind…

    Hope the rest of your vacation was fantastic!




  7. red
    Jul 31, 2012 @ 12:07:21

    Oooohhh….My dear sweet Misty, I’m getting all “Misty-eyed” and homesick. I love the Bay Bridge. I’m sick, I know, but I do. Believe it or not, most of the country (world?) does not get to drive over a 4-mile bridge on a regular basis!

    Glad you made it, and I trust the rest of the vacation was not rainy and gross!


  8. Go Jules Go
    Jul 31, 2012 @ 15:52:50

    This is a perfect case for why any car ride expected to last 30 minutes or more requires no fewer than 3 snacks.

    Oh and I also appreciate a good Bridge to Terabithia reference, so thank you or that 🙂

    I’m glad you are BACK! Although I’ve been a horrible bloggy friend lately because I’ve been so swamped. Have some time off next week and will finally catch up with the bloggysphere!

    In the MEANTIME…I am dreaming about your glorious mug (which looks a lot like black-sandaled feet for some reason) in anticipation of Saturday. Yessss.


  9. cornfedgirl
    Jul 31, 2012 @ 18:02:52

    These days that are slowly ticking by until we meet in NYC is like the worst traffic ever!!!
    I hope that was dramatic enough. It should help to know that in my mind, I held my wrist to my forehead, threw my head back and fell onto the bed.
    Sorry about the traffic. I’m glad you brought snacks. A fact which endears you to me, especially since we are soon to be roomies.


  10. Trackback: A Trip to the Beach: A Journey in Pictures PART 1 « Misty's Laws
  11. Trackback: The Travel Gods Hate Me « Misty's Laws
  12. mark
    Aug 09, 2012 @ 13:10:05

    Regardless if what some “wise” men may say, the best part of most journeys is getting there, not the f’ing journey itself.


    • mistyslaws
      Aug 11, 2012 @ 21:47:59

      My journeys SUCK. I’d much rather just be there, thank you! Where are those teleportation devices they promised us on Star Trek? I want just zap myself right to places.


      • mark
        Aug 14, 2012 @ 16:56:05

        As freakishly futuristic as it sounds, they’ve succeeded in teleporting ions and wave light packets. Now it’s just scaling it up and making it work for distances greater than a meter. I’ll keep you posted.


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