A Trip to the Beach: A Journey in Pictures PART 1

In my last post, I described my trip down to the beach and the beginning of my vacation.  Even though I got a slow and frustrating start, I eventually made it down there and was able to relax and enjoy my time on vacation.  But why would you want to hear about that?  I’m sure you would much rather hear and see the crazy, funny and ridiculous stuff I encountered whilst there, yes?  I thought so.  Here goes.

When I arrived on Friday night, the family was actually staying at a hotel.  The hotel was lovely.  It had a living room, full kitchen, rain shower and very comfy beds in a dark, tailor-made for sleeping, bedroom.  It also had three pools:  a lagoon-type kids pool, complete with slides and lazy river, a full olympic sized pool with a swim up bar (yep, you heard me), and an indoor pool.  Oh, and did I mention the Starbucks in the lobby?  Yeah, so it was heaven.  But it was also a temporary heaven.  The next day we moved on to the condo we would be staying in for the week.  And that is when the craziness began.

When I first arrived, I discovered a lovely greeting on the wall:

An illiterate welcome.

Although a well meaning sign, the creator was obviously not the brightest pelican on the post.  But then it got worse.  Because as I was starting to put stuff away, I discovered this in the kitchen:

Yes, that is the kitchen counter.  And yes, that is a hair and tons of food particles.  Yuck!  I was not feeling very WelOCmed, that’s for sure.  The places are all supposed to be cleaned by a cleaning crew before the turnover on each Saturday.  It seemed that our cleaning crew definitely missed a few spots.  So, I was forced to call the rental agency to complain, and they sent another cleaning crew over. 

Once the place was sufficiently cleaned, I was able to start unpacking and putting stuff away.  This is when I discovered a theme to the condo:  Pink Pussies.  Think I’m being crass and/or joking?  Nope.

PINK

.

PUSSY

.

PINK PUSSY

.

(Angry) PINK PUSSY

Even the view was pink:

Oh, and all the furniture was pink, the bedspreads were pink, the curtains were pink.  Basically, it was like living in a large pink vagina.  It was awesome!!

And of course, while I was unpacking the kitchen, my hubs was helpfully unpacking his stuff in our bathroom:

Helpful, isn’t he?  😉  This was of course after he peed around his favorite chair.  Gotta mark your territory, yo.

But enough about the condo . . . we did eventually leave the safety of our big comfy vag, and went out to the beach!!  Yep, that’s right, I ventured out onto the vast expanse of sandy shores and crashing waves.  Want proof?

Toes in the water . . .

.

. . . toes in the sand.

This is where we also discovered the tiniest blue crab ever known to man.  It was miniscule, but had the largest and creepiest eyes ever!

And then there was the rainbow United States cloud.  I’m hoping this is an omen for the future of America.

Oh, and did I mention the hot running men?  There were quite a few Baywatch moments on the beach . . .

You are welcome, ladies.  Here’s some more man-meat for ya:

Oh, and this one:

He wasn’t a lifeguard, but merely a scopes guy, but I’m gonna let it slide.  And speaking of hot mens: 

Oh, and for my gentlemen readers out there . . . there are boobs and slutty women pending, so you just be patient.

Since we were on vacation, there was obviously a ton of food (and drinks!) and the constant consumption of those delicious meals (and drinks!).

We start, of course, with the run to Fractured Prune, to get piping hot create-your-own donuts.

They are outrageously delicious.  If you have never had a Fractured Prune donut, I am very sorry for your loss.  If you have one near you and have yet to experience it, RUN to your nearest establishment and get a box.  I recommend the Strawberry Shortcake one highly!

Speaking of Strawberry Shortcakes:

This was a Chocolate Covered Strawberry Shortcake from Harpoon Hanna’s.  Don’t judge, it was deliciousness personified.  But I sucked that thing down too fast, so I was forced to try another of their delectable concoctions:

This was also delicious.  This is what it was:

So very yummy!  Oh, I also had food there, but that is beside the point right now.  There was seafood though, just be assured.  And speaking of seafood, we had our obligatory Crab night:

Crabs and scallops . . . What could be better?  Well, except for the steamed shrimp, crab cakes, corn on the cob and crab soup which is not pictured but most definitely made it into my belly!!

And then there was the Mexican fiesta of food (and drinks!) we had.  Mmmmm, strawberry margarita!!

Soooo many dips.  Soooo much goodness.  After drinks and dips, we were almost too full for our entrees . . . almost.  I forced myself to power down most of my fresh Mahi fish tacos.  Yum.  Are you shocked that I gained five pounds on this trip?  Yeah, me too!

And I would be remiss from including one other special drink:

A toasted almond at Bahama Mama’s.  We ate out on the deck with a view of the bay and Assateague Island.  You know, of the Misty of Chincoteague fame?  Oh, and in case you were wondering, I was a good girl and finished all of my drink.  Both parts.

Mmmmm . . . all gone!

In case you were worried, I did not in fact spend the entire vacation in a drunken stupor.  There were lots of drinks, but no drunkenness.  There were non-alcoholic drinks as well!  Don’t look so surprised . . . there was ice cream involved, so hush!

That would be an ice cream soda from the famous Dumser’s.  Please note the fancy sunset in the background.  I got all picturesque and shit before I dug into that beauty.  For you.  You are welcome.

Ok, this post has become hella long.  Are you still there?  Hello?  Did I lose you about 12 pictures back?  That’s ok, I don’t blame you.  It’s a lot, I know.  But there’s more!!  Don’t worry, I’m going to give you a break, though.  I’ll break this into two posts so you have a chance to recover from all the gloriousness you have just experienced.  It’s a lot to take in.  It may need to settle for a bit.

So . . . stay tuned for pictures from the annual family night out of drunken and disorderly conduct and other various evidentiary documentary photos from my trip.  Oh, and there will be a whacked.  There was oh so much whacked.  My poor eyes will never recover from the things I’ve seen on this trip.  And I’m gonna share them with you!!  I try not to be selfish, after all.  😉

I will return after what is destined to be an epic trip to New York City to experience BlogHer with some amazingly cool women!!  I can’t wait to meet all of my fellow bloggers.  Wish me luck!  And fingers crossed that Jen, Johi and I stay out of jail.  (I would say we have a 50/50 shot of it).  See you all next week!  Toodles.

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38 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. bluzdude
    Aug 01, 2012 @ 09:05:45

    I can see your husband now: “All I did was enter the condo and I’m strangely aroused… What’s up with that?”

    Who knew that your condo was decorated by Professor Umbridge?

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Aug 13, 2012 @ 19:56:05

      He actually went there first and texted me with: “I hope you like pink. I mean REALLY like pink.” So at least I was forewarned.

      I totally had to google who that was. Funny enough, they were showing the one with her first appearence when I was packing to leave OC. I had no idea what her name was.

      Reply

  2. Kelly Fox
    Aug 01, 2012 @ 10:33:04

    Pink pussies and thigh high alcoholic beverages in fancy schmancy beverage holders! Sign my ass up!

    Reply

  3. Steph
    Aug 01, 2012 @ 10:45:41

    I think I got that sign maker’s resume. I’m pretty sure that’s where the hair came from too ;0) (You are, after all, staying in a pink vagina, so appropriate…)
    I’m jealous for all the drinkage/foodage/general shenaniganery… enjoy BlogHer! Can’t wait to read all about it!

    Reply

  4. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    Aug 01, 2012 @ 16:59:38

    I ate stupid plain crackers while I read this and they seemed extremely lame in comparison.

    Reply

  5. cornfedgirl
    Aug 01, 2012 @ 17:51:46

    That’s a lot of pink pussy right there. Golly jeepers. But the food and drink! Oh my! I need to go make myself a sundae.

    Reply

  6. She's a Maineiac
    Aug 01, 2012 @ 17:57:53

    Well, thank god you got out of the vagina long enough to see the beach.
    That second guy down looks a little too much like David Hasselhoff.
    The food and drink are making me drool (ok, and the third guy down too)

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Aug 13, 2012 @ 20:00:13

      I’m glad there were plenty of drool worthy items in the post for you. Sorry about the Hoff, though. I didn’t notice until you mentioned it. Eh.

      Reply

  7. red
    Aug 01, 2012 @ 19:55:08

    Dude, not to brag or anything, but I know the 2nd in command of all the OC lifeguards. (blows on nails) He’s totally hot, and taller than the guys you pictured. And a genuine good guy.

    TOTALLY jealous of toes in the sand and the scallops. The fancy drinks look awesome, but there are reasonable facsimiles even here. Just not the scallops…or the sand.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Aug 13, 2012 @ 20:01:32

      Wow! You ARE fancy shmancy. I know all the people who know all the people in high places!!

      The scallops were just ok, if it makes you feel better. 🙂

      Reply

  8. prttynpnk
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 07:03:52

    Do you think that there is a sister condo decorated in blue with a lighthouse motif? There must be , right?

    Reply

  9. traceybecker
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 07:46:45

    I could really use that beach right now. Well, maybe just the alcohol. We’re going to the lake beach but the kids are coming with. 2 voluntarily; 1 grudgingly. Guess how much fun that grudge kid is gonna make my beach trip?

    Have fun in NYC.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Aug 13, 2012 @ 20:03:25

      I’m guessing grudgy mcgrudgerson is a teen? Or at least a tween, no? Sorry for the wet blanket kid on your vacation. Try to ignore him/her? Hope you still had some fun.

      Thanks!

      Reply

  10. thoughtsappear
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 10:02:23

    Mmmmm…Fractured Prune….

    The name is so deceiving. The first time I heard of it, I was like, “How can such an awfully named place have such deliciousness.”

    Reply

  11. Valerie
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 21:27:33

    SO. FRIGGIN. JEALOUS.

    Have a fantastic time in NY!!!! Can’t wait to hear all about it!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

    Reply

  12. bananastick3rs
    Aug 03, 2012 @ 01:45:08

    The family in the first man-meat picture were very rude for photo bombing the picture, all swimming and what not. How dare they!

    Reply

  13. JM Randolph
    Aug 05, 2012 @ 13:11:39

    I totally want a donut. There’s way too much vagina in my house already.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Aug 13, 2012 @ 20:06:36

      There is never a time when I don’t want a donut. True story.

      I am in a house full of men. It was kind of refreshing actually. No, no it wasn’t. I totally take that back.

      Reply

  14. The Good Greatsby
    Aug 06, 2012 @ 10:38:50

    Great pictures. Looks like you had a great time and made yourself ‘welocme’.

    Reply

  15. Vesta Vayne
    Aug 07, 2012 @ 18:21:34

    BWAHAHAHA! I guess they didn’t advertise the pink pussy theme.

    Reply

  16. Jen
    Aug 07, 2012 @ 19:18:34

    Can’t believe we made it home without any casualties. Well…except for Johi getting hit by a garbage truck…and Liz losing her jewelry…and Noa getting lost behind the curtains at SparkleCorn with her wine…and all of us getting frighteningly close to being thrown out of a Nine West. But other than that, SUCCESS!!! 🙂

    Reply

  17. mark
    Aug 09, 2012 @ 13:04:20

    Boobs and slutty women are in the queue for the next post, right? 😉 Glad you had a great time and the ace cleaning crew remedied that nightmare. Oh, and ass for the pink pussy condo theme, this is when it pays to be colour blind, or more accurately, colour deficient.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Aug 13, 2012 @ 20:09:50

      Yeah, it was A LOT of pink. And when I say the sluts are coming, they are coming. Never doubt. (And yes, I know exactly how that sounded).

      Reply

      • mark
        Aug 14, 2012 @ 16:50:30

        I fully expect this post will bring you some of the best google searches ever. “Pink Pussy Condo Adventure 2012 – Woo Hoo!” Feel free to print that on T-Shirts for the fam, along with the subtitle of: “Sluts, Shenanigans and… hey, where’s my drink?”

        Reply

  18. Cakes and Shakes...
    Aug 10, 2012 @ 06:24:47

    Looks like an awesome trip, p.s. love “the fractured prune”, I imagine this dried fruit is just misunderstood or has emotional issues, LOL!

    Reply

  19. Trackback: A Trip to the Beach: A Journey in Pictures PART 2 « Misty's Laws

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