No Autographs, Please!

So, I’m not sure if you realize it, but I’m kind of a big deal.  If you have visited my blog the last couple days, you might have noticed a picture over to the right on that sidebar there ———–> with a link to a certain book attached.  Yeah, so yours truly actually wrote an original essay, and that essay is in that book.  And yes, the book has been published, thank you very much.  You heard me . . . I am a published author.

No, no, please.  Keep the paparazzi back.  I can’t take all this attention and fame and fortune!  I just want to be normal, like all of you little inconsequential non-authorial people!  Why must I be hounded for my brilliance and beauty??  Why???

Ahem.  Wait, what?  What do you mean “the fame is going to my head?”  I still put on my platinum encrusted pants the same as all of you!  One leg at a time and immediately before putting on my diamond encrusted shoes.  Hmph.

Ok, fine.  Let’s get real here for a minute.  I am indeed a contributor for a recently published compilation book.  The book is called All Cracked Up: Funny Stories of Life, Love and Loonies, and has a sampling of essays from multiple bloggers around the blogosphere.  It is currently in e-format and can be purchased from Amazon here.

And seriously?  It is pretty F-ing funny!!  I have one essay in it that is all about my love for Nutella.  But there are so many other funny stories.  Really, it is worth a read.  From non-sexy boob grabs, to exhibitionism, to raging hormonal killer moms and of course a forbidden love of all things chocolate and nutty.  There are some truly gifted and humorous writers involved in this project.  Oh, so you want to know who the other authors are?  Ok then, here they are:

Dogs on Drugs
Mayor Gia
Whoa! Susannah
Ken Inatractor
Leanne Moffat
One Day I’ll Be That Guy
Brett Minor
Rusty Hartup
Working Dan
Six Fingered Monkey
Mike Young 
Incoherent Ramblings of a Moose
Misty’s Laws (That’s ME!!)
Rev Biou
Creative Devolution
Gloria
Pish Posh

That’s all of us up there.  All of us warped, twisted, crazy bloggers that submitted material for this compilation of blogger hilarity.  You may know some of them, and some may be new to you, but I guarantee that you will enjoy all of their essays.  They are creative and irreverent and hilarious.  I truly feel honored and humbled to have even been included in this project with all of these other incredible bloggers, and I really want to thank Pish Posh & Gloria for making this happen.  For some reason, they contacted me and asked if I would contribute something, and when I whipped something up, they actually liked it.  I am so grateful to them for allowing me to be part of this project.  ((Gush over)).

Ok, so you know who’s in it.  You know what’s in it . . . what are you waiting for?  Get over there and buy that thing!!  I mean, it’s only $2.99 for all of that brilliance and humor condensed into one volume of work!  How have you not purchased it yet? 

In fact, why don’t you just mosey on over there, purchase it, read it, and then come on back to the Amazon site and rate it.  It would be so great for people to give it really good ratings so others would be more likely to try it.  You could even be the first!!  And I sure know how commenters like to be the first one to comment on anything.  So, this is your chance.  Get on over there and give it a glowing recommendation!  Do it.  Do it now.

I mean, no pressure or anything (go), only if you really want to (do it), I wouldn’t want to force you to do something you didn’t want to do (it’ll make you feel good), really, it’s totally up to you if you think it’s right (I am holding your family hostage right now and will only release them once you buy it and give it a glowing review!).  Really, don’t let me sway your decision at all.

Oh man, I can see it now.  This thing is gonna be huge!!  Like Jenny Lawson aka “The Bloggess” huge!  In fact, I can just see us nipping at her heels on the New York Times Best Sellers List.  Look out #1 . . . here we come!!

Now, where did my personal assistant put my tiara?  I will need it for when I meet the Queen to impress her with my fancy-ness!

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37 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jen
    Sep 07, 2012 @ 08:47:25

    Oh shit, if you’re holding my short people hostage I may just wait a week or two before buying it. Momma needs a vaycay, yo. 🙂 Seriously, I am so proud of you, Misty. Remember all of the little people when you are clawing your way to the top.

    Reply

    • Jen
      Sep 07, 2012 @ 08:48:06

      By the way, riddle me this: WHAT THE @#$$% AM I DOING AWAKE AT 5:30!?!?

      Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Sep 12, 2012 @ 14:51:11

      Oh damn. Yeah, I apparently didn’t think that one through. Let me re-phrase . . . I will send MY kids to YOU until you buy the book. Better? 😉

      Thanks, babe. I really appreciate the support. And don’t worry, I always ask the names of the schmoes before I step on their heads to climb my way up to the top! 😀

      Reply

  2. thoughtsappear
    Sep 07, 2012 @ 09:02:37

    Congratulations! =)

    Reply

  3. bluzdude
    Sep 07, 2012 @ 09:55:11

    Aww, mannnnn… I wanna be in a book too…

    Reply

  4. Ken
    Sep 07, 2012 @ 10:09:07

    You could have gotten platinum encrusted pants? Maybe I jumped too quickly at the tin foil hat? Either way, honoured to share space in this future best seller with you. Congratulations. 🙂

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Sep 12, 2012 @ 14:53:34

      Oh man, who was your agent? You accepted the first offer? NEVER accept the first offer!! Always hold out for the platinum pants. 😉

      Thanks, co-author. Hoping that our retirements will be paid for soon!!

      Reply

  5. Leauxra
    Sep 07, 2012 @ 10:47:55

    Sweet! I’ll buy it as soon as I get home. Woot woot! If I can tear myself away from my new tablet.

    Reply

  6. Kelly Fox
    Sep 07, 2012 @ 12:30:06

    That’s so awesome!! Congratulations!!

    Reply

  7. chemgirljaime (@chemgirljaime)
    Sep 07, 2012 @ 15:07:10

    it’s on my list… can’t wait to read it!

    Reply

  8. madtante
    Sep 07, 2012 @ 15:41:21

    Congratulations and good luck!

    Reply

  9. pegoleg
    Sep 07, 2012 @ 17:42:55

    Oh, wow! You’re a real, live, published writer type! Congrats – that’s so cool.

    Reply

  10. bananastick3rs
    Sep 07, 2012 @ 20:44:25

    Holy wow, congrats!! That must feel quite epic.

    Reply

  11. Rusty
    Sep 07, 2012 @ 23:33:38

    Nutella for the win!

    I loved your entry, even though my addiction to Nutella has given me a slight bias, you have mad skills.

    Reply

  12. Brett Minor (@brettminor)
    Sep 07, 2012 @ 23:57:34

    Isn’t it cool to be able to tell people you’re now a published author? I have been using that explanation for everything happening in my life this week.

    Pull forward for my burrito? I don’t think so. I’m a published author, bitches!!

    Pick my kids up from school? I don’t think so. Bring them to me. I’m a published author, bitches!!

    It hasn’t worked yet, but they’ll come around eventually.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Sep 12, 2012 @ 14:58:47

      Actually, except for my husband and this post . . . I haven’t told anyone. I can’t, since nobody knows I blog. If I told them, it would lead them right to here. So . . . I’m kinda stuck. It sucks a little. But I know. And now all of you do as well, so that’s what matters.

      Good luck with that whole “perks for being published” thing. Let me know how that works out for you.

      And hey y’all . . . Brett said “bitches.” It’s bringing a tear to my eye. 😀

      Reply

  13. Valerie
    Sep 08, 2012 @ 09:45:11

    CONGRATS!!!! That is so wonderful! I’m gonna go buy it, because I dig laughing. ;o)

    Reply

  14. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    Sep 08, 2012 @ 11:23:49

    That’s awesome, Misty!

    Reply

  15. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson
    Sep 09, 2012 @ 00:47:31

    Misty! I’m so excited for you! I promise as soon as I get the new computer up and running and get the email locked and loaded again, I’m all over that. I’m also super excited to meet all these new bloggers! I don’t know any of them except you.

    I feel like I just punctured a cell.

    You know, of very important people who should have crowns and never fart. 😉

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Sep 12, 2012 @ 15:00:57

      Did you get your new puter yet??? I know it was supposed to come yesterday.

      If you got it, I’m sure you are in new computer heaven, but . . . just don’t forget about little ole me and my book, ok? 😉

      And hold up . . . nobody said anything about not farting.

      Reply

      • Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson
        Sep 12, 2012 @ 23:11:45

        It came, but my tech guy can’t come until the 20th. I need help because I don’t know how to set up Time Machine with the external hard drive — and I need to migrate some stuff from my husband’s computer over onto the new computer and we need to link it all into Apple TV. There are a zillion questions about how to sync my phone to this new computer, etc. So it will be a little longer. I just write by hand during the day and speak into Dragon Dictation and then when Hubby comes home, I tap things into WordPress. One new post at a time.

        Reply

  16. mark
    Sep 11, 2012 @ 17:46:35

    Well done and congratulations, Misty!

    Reply

  17. Go Jules Go
    Sep 11, 2012 @ 18:15:41

    Whaaaaat?!?! First of all, you had me at “Nutella”, but then you had me even MORE at $2.99 (seriously, who puts a price on Misty? Or Nutella?).

    SO excited for you!!! This is AWESOME.

    Reply

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