Every once in a while, I get
bored curious, and I review my search terms. These are words that people out in the vast interewebz type into a search engine, and then those words somehow lead them to my blog. Quite a few of them make perfect sense, either my name or some search term relating to a specific blog post. Then I get more general searches that land at my site because I have talked about that subject. The most common of those is: “Leggings as pants.” I get that one a lot.
But every once in a while, when I review my recent search terms, I will come across some truly bizarre phrases. Phrases that have nothing to do with my blog, or at least do not seem to logically connect to the phrases or substance of my blog. Here are some of the strangest ones I’ve seen recently:
sleep step by sister
I don’t even know what this phrase means or what exactly they were looking for. I especially have no idea how it could have anything to do with my blog. But there it is.
i’m the crazy aunt everyone warned you about
Now, it is true that I am an aunt. In fact, I am even a great-aunt. And it is also true that I might just be a wee bit crazy. But why would this search term find me? And why are you out there warning people about me, oh dear searcher? Don’t you appreciate the element of surprise? If you warn them, how will I sneak up on them and scare the bejesus out of them, hmm? Did you think of that, searcher? No. No, I don’t think you did. Try to be more forward thinking next time. Sheesh.
Why is it illegal to have sex with students over 18
I’m guessing this came about because of my post about that female teacher who had sex with a bunch of underaged students and how the hubs and I had a conversation about whether it is “wrong” or not (recap: Him = nope / Me = yep). But this question, and the fact that it is being asked on the interwebz, is just creepy. I can just imagine some middle aged horny slimeball teacher wondering why it is he can’t have sex with that 19 year old coed in his Health Studies class. And if you have to ask . . . just step away from the college student, my friend. And put the peener back in it’s holster. Creep.
What? Oh hellz no!! Please tell me that these things don’t actually exist. Why on earth would you want to wear leggings in the shower, anyway? Isn’t the point to basically be naked?
how not to wear cowboy boots and shorts
Um, just don’t? You’re welcome.
(I do kinda love that my intense disdain for the cowboy boots/shorts look is infamous on the net!).
celebrate with see thru cloth
Please don’t. I’m begging you. My poor eyes have seen enough. Have a drink instead, ok?
blake sheltons fridge
While I have blogged about Blake Shelton before, I really don’t know what he keeps in his fridge. Unless that’s some euphemism for something else. If so . . . carry on, searcher. Get yours.
See thru asian
Is this some sort of super hero?
backhanded compliments examples
Oh sweetie, your haircut is adorable! Really takes the focus away from the large pores on your face.
Those leggings are so stylish . . . and they really accentuate your dimples.
Your son is just so energetic, which is great because he might actually have a chance to get into college with a sports scholarship.
see through nipples
Is this a thing? Are there people out there that have completely translucent nipples? And why on earth was this searched for three times and landed the searcher on my blog? Weirdness.
a candybar named motherfucker
This one was also searched for three separate times, and somehow brought the searcher to my blog. I’m not sure what they were after, or if there is actually a motherfucker candy bar being sold, but if so . . . I need one. I’m not sure it would taste delicious, though. What does a motherfucker taste like, anyway? Hmmm, I might need to do some searching now.
Any strange searches that have led to your blog? Anyone ever tried a motherfucker candy bar? Is it good? Can I try it?