Watching the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics:
7: This is starting to look like Super Mario Bros. with those rings and that spinny thing. Those are all in the game.
While mom is drinking a cocktail:
7: Is that an adult drink?
7: What’s in it? Is it al . . . alc . . .
Me: Alcohol, yes.
4: You’re drinking Octonauts???
4: Can you eat clams?
4: Even big mommy clams?
7: You can eat every kind of clam, except pregnant clams.
Me: Why not pregnant clams?
7: Because then you’d have a BABY CLAM in your belly!
Me: Oh, good point.
See if you can guess the context of this conversation:
7: No fair! You get the side with the big balls!
4: I like big balls!
Me: Eat your dinner.*
4: I want to spin on the floor with one finger, but I can’t because I would hurt my whole body.
Flipping through radio stations, I pass by a Britney Spears song:
4: Go back to the Justin Spears song! She’s my favorite!
Riding the Ferris Wheel:
4: This was one of my favorite rides when I was a little kid!
At the fair, asking him if he wanted to go on a flipping upside down ride:
4: No no no no no no. I have a baaaaaad feeling about that.
4: I wish we had 11 fingers so we could count to 11.
– Obligatory Spinal Tap reference here –
4: Mom, is this funny? Guacamole, you’re the one! You make bathtime so much fun!
A budding comedian, that one.
4: I wish I was a girl.
4: Because girls are pretty.
Me: But you’re pretty, too.
4: NO MOM, girls are PRETTIER!!
Having Chinese food for the first time, prior to even trying it:
4: I don’t like Chinese food! I only like England food.
* Shaking Parmesan cheese from the container, and it had gotten clumpy and formed “cheese balls.” Now get your minds out of the gutter, perverts!