My son, 4, got a stuffed bird.
Me: What’s your bird’s name?
4: Mr. Pecker.
My husband to 4: Wow, you’ve been a really good boy today. I haven’t had to yell at you at all! Why is that?
4: Because if you yell, you’d get a headache.
4: There are rules to climb a slippery mountain. 1. Be brave (in case you slip down or hit your head), 2. Be smart (to think of good ideas), 3. Be strong (to dig holes).
4: Who are bad guys that can be in this world?
4: Frankenstein!! Oh wait, he’s not bad, just scary. Um . . . Bowser. Vampires. The mean car in Lightning McQueen 2 . . . he’s yellow and about this high (holds hand down at his knees) and fights Doc Hudson. I think his name is Canyon Shooter.
Watching The Voice . . . Blake Shelton was doing a performance with his team:
4: Oh! He has helpers.
Me: Yes, exactly. Singing helpers.
4: Like Captain Hook’s helpers . . . Sharky, Bones and Smee!
Watching the Thanksgiving Day parade, and seeing the Kermit the Frog float:
4: Ugh, not the Puppets! They are so annoying!!
4: Frosty might be a girl or boy. Might be a girl because of the flower in her hat. And girls like flowers.
Talking about the Au Pair and 4:
7: She kept telling him consecutively: get dressed, get dressed, get dressed.
Talking about his brother:
7: He was crying and I couldn’t tell what he said because I don’t speak cry language.
At Pizza Hut:
7: Those children over there are not sitting appropriately. That one even has his tongue out!
7: I smell (sniff sniff) wine. I know what that smells like.
Me: Why, because mommy drinks it all the time? (That’s why he was smelling it at that moment, actually).
7: Nope. Because I like that smell.
BONUS!! Convo with the Hubs:
Hubs talking about my age . . .
H: You’re like a 40-year-old woman on a 2 year runway.
Me: . . . . . . .
H: That’s right, I said it.
I guess I should say that he’s my former husband. I will be sure to keep everyone posted on the viewing and funeral schedule.