If you are anything like me, you are just happy that you survived the holiday season (mostly) unscathed. Also, if you are like me, you are really enjoying the sloth-like existence you have been wallowing in for the last week, since you have been off work and have tried your damnedest to do the absolute minimum required of you, save keeping your children alive, of course. What? So, you are saying that it’s just me who is the lazy bastard? Ok, sure. Stick to that story. At least I’m owning my coach potato existence.
So, in the spirit of extreme laziness, howzabout I just show you some pretty pictures? A little trip through the crazy and awesome holiday presents that I received last week. That will be fun, right? I mean, technically, I’m still on vacation, so the bar for productivity is set super duper low, people. Work with me here.
A little background . . . my hubs is a pretty big jokester. He loves to give goofy and funny joke gifts to everyone. Me included. And this Christmas was no exception.
Please note, that according to this UniSpam, the rainbows come from the ass. In case you ever wondered, now you should be clear!
This is actually completely awesome! I used to collect these things when I was about 12, and apparently these are new and updated ones. For example: Sushi Seth, Situational Stan (aka The Situation), and Birdbrain Bruce (with Angry Birds). Love it!
Because everyone needs a mouse with a little bling!
I had seen this before, but now I am the proud owner of some “Maybe You Touched Your Genitals” Hand Sanitizer. Score!!
Pretty sure he’s calling me a witch. Meh. Guess it could have been worse.
Naughty Xmas tattoos. Please note the eyeball with Santa hat, the skeleton reindeer, and of course the Bacon Santa. Does this man know the way to my heart, or what?
A telephone handset for my iPhone. Because, really . . . technology has just shrunken our telephonic devices to almost non-existent status. What says hip, cool and retro more than carrying around a huge handset to plug into your iPhone? I am über trendy, yo.
I have no idea how on earth the hubs got this picture of me walking around in San Francisco!! I thought everyone was looking at the sights, and not my ample derriere. Damn.
No hubs. Not funny. A sparkly Duke shirt? That is just not ok. Grrrrrrr.
And lest you think that all I got for Xmas were goofy joke gifts, the hubs did come through for me by getting me the one thing that I specifically asked for . . . a beautiful and perfect laptop.
He actually really does know the way straight to my heart. He’s a good egg, that hubs of mine. All in all, it was a good holiday. And now I can blog from home, and not just at work, which is probably better for that whole job security thing.
Happy New Year, all!! See everyone again in 2013. Cheers!
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So, what did you get for Xmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus? Anything fun or funny?
Misty's Laws 
Dec 31, 2012 @ 08:45:42
I soooo want that iPhone handset. Do you think the cops will notice if I’m using it?
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:18:09
No way. Totally on the DL. I’ll let you borrow it if you want.
Dec 31, 2012 @ 09:07:25
Haha,,,I got a sweater from my mom too,,,of course it’s too small,,,she said I need to grow into it!
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:19:27
Oh man . . . is that your mom calling you fat? Because if so, she’s just as lovely as my mom, I think.
Jan 08, 2013 @ 13:37:37
yep!
Dec 31, 2012 @ 10:28:13
Oh Misty, this is chock full ‘o even more goodness than Weekly Whacked! First, well done to the hubs on the lap top, but even more so on the Cabbage Patch Doll cards and unicorn meat. All of this is amazing.
But nothing – NOTHING – tops the cigarette ashes and back of that t-shirt. Please promise us more posts about your mom in 2013.
Happy New Year!!!
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:22:26
I’m not sure that’s a promise I can make. I actually avoid talking about my mom. She’s NOT lovely like your Babs. If I start . . . I may never stop. As much as my blog is therapy, I’m just not sure even I can handle that topic of therapy.
Dec 31, 2012 @ 10:31:35
Ha! Awesomeness… I got a card in the mail from YOU. Total highlight. I didn’t even need the mini cooper after that.
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:23:06
Card from me v. Mini Cooper? No contest. I’m rad. 😉
Dec 31, 2012 @ 11:34:31
First of all, the Unicorn Meat is hilarious. I totally want a can of that on my desk.
Secondly, I totally need that handset thing for my cell. That’s one of the reasons Ih hate talking on it is that it’s so damned small, and totally impossible to wedge between my ear and shoulder. (Does anyone even to that any more?)
Lastly, I will see you in your Post Christmas Sloth Poker, and raise you the fact that I don’t even have any kids to keep alive. I am in no shape to deal with work on Wednesday, and I mean that literally. I see vast quantities of salad in my January lunches.
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:25:38
I’ll let you borrow the handset. I can’t see me walking around using it with my phone.
I was such a lazy bum. And then I got the flu, which upped the sloth quotient exponentially. Gah. My first day back to work will be tomorrow. It’s gonna be hell.
Dec 31, 2012 @ 13:10:56
Whew! Good thing you ended up with that laptop at the end. Happy new year to you, Misty!
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:27:09
I know! It’s the one and only thing that I actually asked for . . . for the second year in a row. But I got it. So yay! With this flu, so far it hasn’t been the happiest of new years, but I’m getting better. Finally. Same to you, girl.
Dec 31, 2012 @ 13:12:36
Hysterical! Thanks for sharing Miss Misty. I think your hubs is da bomb, mad fist bumps to him. I also think he discovered Urban Outfitters… one of our fave stores, and ironically, the one we spent the most time in this year hunting for presents for our teenager and her friends.
My best gifts were: an ipod shuffle (since I’m not cool enuff to have an iphone or ipod- yet) a new stereo to go in my 2005 truck, an anchor bracelet from my sister, money for my tattoo I really want on my arm of a sailboat, and last but certainly not least, a card from you! So it was like the best holiday evah!
PS Good for you with the laptop score- a woman such as yourself needs one… blogging at work? Holy shit, that’s a total no-go girl. ;0)
Cheers to you and a KICK ASS 2013 for all of us!
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:30:29
He IS da bomb! And it sounds like you scored as well! I want pics of the tat when you get it. 🙂
Yeah, blogging at work is a total no go, I know this. But it’s the only reliable computer I had, and I’m always sitting in front of it, so it’s just easy. I just have to try to find the time, and not have the boss walk in while I’m doing it. But the laptop fixes all that, so yay!!
Happy New Year to you, too, chica.
Dec 31, 2012 @ 14:35:06
There are new Garbage Pail Kids!? Did they come with disgusting gum like the old ones did?
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:33:13
Yes! But no to the gum. It came with a poster. Is that better?
Jan 08, 2013 @ 17:09:33
I don’t know. The gum was awful, so yeah, I guess that’s better.
Dec 31, 2012 @ 16:17:52
Would unicorn meat be rainbow colored?
That shirt- everything about it- is hilarious!
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:34:25
I didn’t open it, so I’m not sure. But it seems as if it would go without saying.
If only she meant it to be funny, I would be laughing so much. In reality . . . just sad.
Jan 01, 2013 @ 19:11:16
I am sorta sorry that shirt isn’t a joke, but really that is hysterically funny. I would so wear it….to a cowboys game cause I do live in Dallas and am not fond of them this year.
I think your hubs is da bomb, what a great gift the laptop and the hand sanitizer, not sure which is the best.
Happy 2013.
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:38:09
It so wasn’t a joke. Sadly.
He is da bomb. I am in love with my new laptop.
Jan 02, 2013 @ 14:46:42
This will sound sappy, but it was Red getting to spend Christmas here for a few days. It was great.
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:39:15
That’s not sappy, that’s great! I’m glad you guys got to spend some time together over the holidays!
Jan 02, 2013 @ 15:11:04
So glad about the wonderful laptop, but having a ball with the rest of the gifts. Your hubster is da bomb! And bacon Santa? Hello? WHere have I possibly heard anything remotely similar to that? Hmmm? Well, it will come to me.
Unicorn Spam. So wrong. Love it.
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:41:00
He’s pretty ok, I guess. 😉
So wrong it’s right you mean, yes? And delicious, I imagine. I’m gonna whip up a little unicorn spam casserole for this weekend . . . you’re coming over, right?
Jan 04, 2013 @ 06:55:42
Ooh what lovely pressies! You lucky girl. Your man loves you, you know that right? Your Mum on the other hand … probably best not to ponder. Sure she MEANT well. 🙂
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:42:00
Oh yes, the hubs definitely loves me. Mom on the other hand . . . yeah, let’s leave that one alone. Not ready for that conversation. And yeah, she always MEANS well.
Jan 04, 2013 @ 13:30:28
I need that hand sanitizer! Need. It.
Jan 07, 2013 @ 20:42:35
Maybe we can talk about a trade . . . hand sanitizer for ninjabread cookie cutters? Hmmmm?