Misty’s Comet

What is your biggest memory of 1986?

Was it the release of The Bangles’ Walk Like an Egyptian?

Elvis Presley inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame?

The Chicago Bears winning the Super Bowl?

The release of Top Gun?

Hands Across America?  (I totally participated in that . . . how about you?)

The Designing Women premier?

No, I’m sure it’s not any of those things.  I am sure what you remember most about the year 1986 was the unforgettable and highly significant phenomenon of . . .

Halley’s Comet.

But!  Did your school commemorate this incredible event by creating a truly unique and astronomically gorgeous backdrop for your school pictures that year?  Huh, did they, did they?  I highly doubt it.  You are just not that special.

Well, mine did.  In fact, not only did they have this amazing backdrop commemorating this historic event, but there were props.  But not just any prop . . . a sexy telescope on which we could casually rest our arms in front of this beautiful backdrop.

Jealous?  I thought so.

Now, what do you think would be the appropriate outfit to wear for this incredible once in a lifetime moment and photo opportunity?  If you said a poofy armed pink lace dress, complete with big satin bow on the hip and faux double stranded pearls which were actually sewn directly onto only the front of the dress . . . you are obviously a serious fashion aficionado.

But, would you also think that it could get even more amazing by adding a face full of braces and permed hair with Farrah wings?  Only in your wildest dreams could such a scenario ever enter your mind.

I know, I know.  But this was in fact my reality.

And if you were able to envision this Venus de Milo work of art, then possibly you have actually seen what is no doubt the most epic and beautiful 5th grade school picture that has ever been taken in the history of forever.  And possibly seen Angie‘s post this week, inspired by the world’s most dramatic and excellent portrait ever.

Prepare yourself . . . here it is:


I know.  There there.  Dry your tears of embarrassment at your woefully inferior 5th grade school portrait.  Not everyone can be as special as me.  It’s a gift.

**Visit Angie to see the brilliance that this silly school picture inspired.  Her treatment of this (and her brother’s Photoshop skills) are truly amazing.  Stop over and say howdy.

37 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tori Nelson
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 08:41:41

    I’m suddenly sad that I never thought to do a thoughtful Prom Pose with a telescope 🙂 Hilarious!


  2. Danielle Charlton Geer
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 09:31:02

    I feel the need to discuss your hair…


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 16, 2013 @ 16:01:51

      Yeah, you will need to have that discussion with my mother. She felt the need to tortuously perm her young child’s head to within an inch of its chemically enhanced curly life. It was NOT my choice, believe me!


  3. Angie Z.
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 09:42:59

    Walk Like an Egyptian? Designing Women? Piffle. 1986 was Halley’s resurrection, baby. It was his year. Who doesn’t feel defined by that? I still have my Halley’s comet poster on my bedroom closet door, my daughter is named Halley, my neighbor’s dog is named Halley, I have watched several Halle Berry movies since 1986 (yet admittedly I still don’t know if it’s pronounced Hal-e’s like Halle or Hail-e’s like Bailey’s) AND I once went to hear a band called The Fiery Comets Will Blow Us All Up.

    So there you go. Monumental. Your school was the greatest. But those sew-on pearls? Meh.


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 16, 2013 @ 16:04:48

      What??? You don’t like the sew on pearls? But, but . . . they are double stranded! Granted, they only hang on the front of the dress, so altogether it really only equals one strand, but still!! You would never lose them, and they always sat exactly right on the dress. Really, I think they will make a comeback in the future. Maybe I should start sewing necklaces on all my clothing (just the front half, of course) to try to be a retro trend setter. You have given me a brilliant idea, Angie. I’m gonna be a bajilliontyaire!!


  4. Rosie
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 10:06:22

    My school photos had red and yellow lazers on a dark blue background!


  5. Jaclyn
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 10:13:44

    That was majestic.


  6. Leauxra
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 10:33:49

    Dang, I think that year I opted for the “snow scene” background and a Nortic sweater. And I was a huge, huge, huge Bangles fan. This would have been slightly before I discovered the Cure and Depress Mode… er… Depeche Mode.

    BUT. Halley’s Comet brings back a wonderful, wonderful memory of my brother and me getting up at 3:30AM and lugging his telescope out to a nearby field to look at the comet. We got stopped by a police officer, probably expecting to nab us for throwing toilet paper at the principal’s house or something.

    Older brother explained that 4AM was the best viewing time, and the officer should come take a look after we got set up.

    “Do your parents know you’re here?” Officer Didn’t-Get-It asked.

    “Yeah,” I said, “But they don’t want to get up before dawn to look at a comet.”

    “Uh,” he said, “Have… ah… fun?”

    I really don’t think he knew what to do about us, and seemed really confused. When we got to the field, there were like 10 other weirdos out there.


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 16, 2013 @ 16:08:05

      Oh my god, what a fantastic story!! Thank you for sharing that. I hardly even remember the comet. I think we went out front to try to see it from the front porch, and since we lived far out in the suburbs, we could usually see the sky pretty clearly. But I have no actual memory of seeing it (except for in the background of a fantasticly timely school picture). Was it wonderful? Was it everything you hoped it would be?


  7. Kitten Thunder's Girl
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 11:21:59

    It is a weird coincidence, I think, that we were just trying to remember when Halley’s Comet came through on Friday. Must be something in the air. Or space.


  8. Mandi
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 12:36:17

    1986… I remember sitting in kindergarten watching Challenger explode, not fulling grasping that people died, and laughing. I’ve been labeled a disturbed child ever since, but never wore Farrah wings. So it all balances out.


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 16, 2013 @ 16:09:57

      Yeah, the Farrah wings are hard to live down. I truly didn’t even remember HAVING Farrah wings until this picture resurfaced in my life. In my memory, it was just a horrible curly mess of permedness. Oh no, it is so much worse.


  9. andrea-maybe it's just me
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 13:12:54

    Oh my…first off, I feel very old as I was a junior in high school in January of 1986. Second, there is a young girl inside of me weeping that she did not have a dress like that…or fancy photo backgrounds…nope, I can’t even blame the bad looks on props!


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 16, 2013 @ 16:10:56

      You truly missed out. This was 5th grade, so Jr. High isn’t THAT much older! I am sorry that you didn’t get the fancy props and backdrop, though. You should really sue. Know a good lawyer? 😉


  10. winopants
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 13:52:20

    This makes me wonder where were the parents?? Someone had to buy this dress, and perhaps say ” oh honey no”
    My mom let me go to school in some whack outfits on picture day: striped polo with a pink skirt, neon flamingo on a white tee. Thanks mom!
    Thanks for sharing, this is hilarious 🙂


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 16, 2013 @ 16:12:16

      I am so glad you find my shame and utter humiliation amusing. 😉

      Oh, and it was the PARENTS (specifically my mother) who bought this abomination and forced me to wear it on picture day. Years of therapy, I’m telling you. So horrible.


  11. ifUseekAmy
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 14:12:00

    I remember all of those Gunnesax-like dresses in 1986! Haha!
    I have one of those picture frame things that has the 12 holes for the 12 grades arranged in a circle and you stick the wallet sized pictures in it. It’s like looking at 12 shades of awkward: permed hair, short hair, big bangs, big untamed eyebrows, buck teeth, zits, blouses with bows, crazy all pink outfits, benetton rugbys, oh, and throw in a black eye in 1st grade.


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 16, 2013 @ 16:13:10

      Black eye in 1st grade, huh? I’m sure THAT’S a story.

      I remember those picture rings. I never had one, but I can only imagine the circle of horrors that would exist if I did.


  12. mark
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 16:36:58

    Stunning. I’m just wondering why you chose to pixelate your chin and neck. What are you hiding?


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 16, 2013 @ 16:14:36

      Well, Mark . . . if you must know. I have a very distinctive birth mark on my chin. If I didn’t pixelate it, any fool who saw me on the street would recognize me from my 5th grade school pic.

      Nah, I was just trying to do the entire head, but left the braces in because they are so stunning. Wouldn’t want anyone to miss THAT extra little detail. 🙂


      • mark
        Jan 16, 2013 @ 17:43:10

        Ah, very good. Good work – mission accomplished. I tend to use the Adult education black bar across the eyes to protect identities.


  13. HeatherRose
    Jan 09, 2013 @ 17:04:06

    I was 2 years old [sorry] in 1986, and thus didn’t get to actually witness Halley’s Comet. But I read this with absolute delight, holding off on the moment I would unveil the picture because I knew it was going to be magical and I wanted to delay gratification as much as possible. It was worth every second.


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 16, 2013 @ 16:16:01

      I’m so glad that this abomination of a therapy session memory held such glee and delight for you. :p

      I was 10 when you were 2, so yeah, I feel old now. Thanks. That’s ok, though, cuz you had to go through childhood in the 90’s. They really weren’t much better, if my addled memory serves me.


  14. Go Jules Go
    Jan 10, 2013 @ 08:23:45

    Well I know my first thought when I saw that telescope (which I thought was laser gun) was, “Where the hell do I get my hands on that piece of sexy?”


    • mistyslaws
      Jan 16, 2013 @ 16:18:16

      I know, right? If you owned one of those, you could drag it around with you everywhere and you would gain instant credibility and sophistication. Job interview? Hired! Long line at Starbucks? Cut to the front of the line! Deer killing neighbor? Shoot him with the laser!!


  15. Jennifer June Clark
    Jan 10, 2013 @ 11:54:40

    Oh, my dear….. THAT classy in 5th grade?! There’s no where to go after achieving such heights of fashion.


  16. Valerie
    Jan 10, 2013 @ 18:57:43

    You. Are. Spectacular! This picture is a mixture of Fergie and Jesus….




    • mistyslaws
      Jan 16, 2013 @ 16:20:22

      I’ve never been called a mix of Fergie and Jesus before. I’m assuming that was meant to be a compliment? I’m gonna assume so . . . I mean, the picture just screams “class!”


  17. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    Jan 11, 2013 @ 11:31:22

    But, you’re missing it! You’ve got the telescope and everything and you chose to stand with your back to the comet.


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