Well, it’s finally happened. I’ve gone and done it good this time. I’m not sure when or where or even how, but I went and pissed off the wrong person it seems. Apparently, there is some witch or sorcerer out there that did not take kindly to my own personal brand of
bitch snark, and has decided to punish me. And the way in which the punishment has been doled out is in the form of a curse. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, yours truly has been hexed. Let’s examine the evidence, shall we?
Basically this entire post! In case you missed it, let me outline the pertinent points in the post:
- I make an appointment at Urgent Care, then spend 3 eternal hours waiting to be seen by the one and only doctor working that day. While I had the flu.
- I try to have the Urgent Care fill my prescription, only to find that they were out of my medicine.
- I have to go to CVS, that does have my medicines, but does not have my insurance information, and when I asked if they could pull it up in the system . . . discover that their system went down.
- After waiting almost another hour for the system to come up, I finally get my meds and go to grab a couple things from the 70% off Xmas aisle on my way out, only to have the registers freeze up.
It was like I had some sort of black cloud hovering over my head that day. It seemed as if everywhere I went, something went wrong or broke.
This past Sunday, I was in my living room and heard a crashing sound coming from upstairs. Fearing it was my youngest son falling out of his bed, I ran upstairs to see if he was ok. He was just fine, and wondered why his crazy eyed mom was rushing into his room when he was just trying to take a nap. Overwhelmed by relief that my son was ok, and safe in the knowledge that all the living creatures in my home were unscathed, I didn’t think to investigate as to what the noise might actually have been. However, later in the day, when I took my laundry basket upstairs to put away clothes, I walked into my closet and saw this:
See those little holes there in the wall? Yeah, that’s where that huge long shelf full of hanging clothes used to be. Here’s a different angle:
Yep, that suspicious crashing sound was actually the entire right side of my closet collapsing onto the floor. And, because we just spent a buttload of money on Xmas, we don’t have any extra cash to fix it. So I took the pile of sweaters that were sitting on top of that shelf (and weighing it down, apparently), threw them in a pile on the floor, and went about my business. And I will be forced to ignore my tilted closet for a little while. At least until I am no longer cursed, I guess.
About a month before Xmas, I got an email from a friend of mine who works for Zappos. In that email, there was a 20% off coupon. So, I decided that would be an ideal time to try to get some new shoes for court. And the great thing about Zappos is you can order whatever you want, and then return whatever doesn’t work without having to pay shipping. So, with that in mind, I ordered 4 pairs of shoes, figuring that at least one or two would work . . . and ended up with one great pair. They are cute, they are sensible, they are comfortable (so key!) . . . and then part of the heel broke off after 2 days. Crap.
But, because it’s Zappos and they are awesome, I called and asked if they could send a replacement pair, which they did right away. But then the holidays came, and I wasn’t in court many more times, so the replacements were only worn about 3 times before Xmas and the death flu hit. This past Tuesday was my first day back to work in weeks, and I wore my replacement shoes to court. However, by the end of the day, I realized there was something wrong. I was clicking as I walked.
So, I looked at the bottom of my heel, and this is what I saw:
See that shiny screw head at the bottom of the heel? Yeah, it used to be covered by a thick piece of grooved rubber, so that as I walk, I don’t slip and murder myself. Luckily, the shoes lasted until almost the end of the day, which meant that I merely had to make it from my office to the parking garage without dying . . . which I did. Phew!
Might have to try a little harder, witchy woman! I’m still kicking. (Just not in those shoes).
So, as you can see from the above evidence, there is obviously some sort of bad juju upon me that is causing all of these calamities to occur. To whomever I happened to offend, I say to you a heartfelt, “I’m sorry.”
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
We good? All’s forgiven? We’re pals again, yes? Good. Now, can you please uncursify me at your earliest convenience, my friend. Because this shit is getting really tiring.
The defense really needs to rest.