Another One Bites the Dust Cover

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I recently discovered that a local bookstore is being compelled to close its doors because it’s not getting enough business to stay open.  I have walked past this bookstore a bajillionty times, as it is directly across the street from my courthouse, but until last week, I had never once previously gone inside.  And I am deeply ashamed of this fact.  I am the reason that this store is closing.

And yes, while it is not only my fault, as my sole patronage probably would not have prevented the store’s going out of business, it is me and people like me that caused this to happen.  You see, I love books.  Even in the age of all things electronic, whether it be a Kindle, a Nook or an iPad, I still prefer reading actual books to any other mode of viewing literature.  I love the feel of a book, the smell of the pages, the heft of the bound papers in my hand. 

There is a local used book store near my home that I visit every couple of months, perusing their rows and rows of used novels, in the attempt to find an as yet undiscovered gem.  I will also take the books I have finished reading to this shop to trade them in for more books.  But my true transgression is this . . . I buy most of my books from Amazon.  So, you see, I am part of the problem which has developed in this generation of electronic ease and convenience.  Because, even though I still prefer my books the old-fashioned way, I will much more readily click online to order, rather than visit a local brick and mortar shop.  And this is why so many of these little shops are closing down. 

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So, in the spirit of too little, too late, I paid a much delayed visit to this closing book store.  It may or may not have had anything to do with the fact that every book in the store was $3.00 or less.  It was a lovely little store.  Much bigger and deeper than I had imagined from the outside.  On a table to the left of the entrance, there was a complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica books for sale.  Huge, dusty tomes that will probably sit there until they are packed up by the owner with the remainder of the undesirable and unsellable books.  What with Google and Wikipedia at the click of a mouse, who needs big, outdated books to tell you what you need to know?  However, it was quite the trip to nostalgiaville seeing that entire set sitting there, since I grew up with a complete set on a bookcase in my own childhood home.  It was where you would find me when research papers came due for grade school projects.

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And speaking of old school . . . there was a shelf labelled “Vintage” filled with numerous Hardy Boys mysteries and even some Bobbsey twins.  I did not see any Nancy Drew, as I imagine someone else probably snatched those up already.

In my search through this soon to be extinct shop, I was able to find a few books to purchase for myself.  But along with those, I discovered another rare gem . . . and this week’s giveaway!!

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When I saw this and started flipping through it in the store, it made me laugh.  I knew that I had to get it and give it to one lucky reader.  Preferably one that is of the appropriate age, per the book’s guidance (see that little print down in the lower left corner . . . go ahead, get your glasses . . . I’ll wait).

I am sure that you are curious as to what this book contains, as I was as well.  Well, feast your eyes on just a sampling of the valuable queries in this book, enabling you to transcribe your own info for future reference.  Basically, when you get too old to remember your name, you can have this handy mid-life guide!

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Very helpful, indeed!

Now, before you go denying that you want this handy little helper of a book, don’t think that I am calling you old.  No way, I would never do such a thing.  What’s calling you old is your grey hairs, saggy boobs and receding hairlines.  Take a gander in the mirror, my friends, before you start throwing the pitch forks around this way, k?  Sheesh!!

So, who wants it?  Anyone, anyone?  Hello?

Hmmm . . . I’ll be curious to see how this goes.  If you do indeed want it, this is what you shall do . . . comment on how you first realized you were old.  Was it a physical thing (grey hair, wrinkles, etc.)?  Was it a failing ability (poor sight, bad hearing, etc.)?  Was it some young punk kid calling you “ma’am?”  (Damn kids these days, grumble grumble).  Or was it something else?  Go ahead, fess up.  It’s happened to all of us!

And just to be fair, I will throw in another little treat as well, so it’s not just the book.  I haven’t decided what it will be yet, but it will be fun.  Probably not Metamucil.  I mean, unless that’s something you’re needing right now, because if so, I’ve got you covered!!

———————————————————————————————————–

This is your last reminder . . . if you haven’t already gone over to Noa’s Funny Bitch All-Star page to vote for yours truly (about halfway down the list) . . . what are you waiting for???  I would be ever so grateful if you were to do so.  This will be my last post for a while, as I am leaving for Disney with the fam oh so very early Saturday morning and will not return for a full week.  It would be just delightful to see that I made the All-Stars’ list prior to my departure.  PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN!!  Thanks, all!  See ya on the flip side.

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62 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jeff Laws
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 08:57:01

    I love reading and always have, but I don’t have the need for books, I much prefer the digital books on my Kindle. Although I do miss swapping books with my mom, we did that for years.

    I absolutely loved the Hardy Boys books when I was in Jr. High. I had a list of all the ones I knew about and marked them off when I read them. Loved seeing the picture of them above.

    I can’t join in on the giveaway as I’m not 40 yet (will be in June) but I know for me feeling old is when my body started to ache all the time.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:11:10

      You were totally entered! You are waived in because you will be 40 this year. Hell, by the time I got the book to you, you probably would have been well into your 40s! 😉 But, you didn’t win, so I guess we don’t have to worry about calling you old or anything, right?

      Reply

  2. Joan Roehre
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 09:36:03

    As always, a fan of your posts! This one in particular as I have often considered the moment I realised I was old, and it is when I looked FIRST at the toilet paper dispenser in public bathrooms BEFORE I, well, you know, did what I had to do in a public bathroom. I felt my youth stripped from mein that micro-second as age, logic and common sense kicked in. No more “living on the edge” accompanied by that frantic moment when you realise, I DON’T HAVE A TISSUE IN MY SLEEVE EITHER!

    As to the giveaway, picture this:

    A 7 year old me, stumbling across a blank baby book among other books in my mother’s collection. I should probably clarify it wasn’t REALLY blank, for the name “Joni March 8, 1964” WAS actually written on the inside cover. That was it. My name and birthday. NO first tooth date, NO first word or date of it, NO first ‘Big Girl on the Potty’ date, NO witty story about me constantly singing “I’m ‘eneree the 8th I am”…

    Blank. Empty. Bare. As if I didn’t exist.

    Now I know all my brothers and sisters had baby books- COMPLETE with Baby Shower invites carefully arranged, even a diaper pin or 3 scrapbooked for eternity. Carefully logged where fine details of all of my siblings momentous events.

    Mine? Zip. Nada.

    Much to my mother’s chagrin, I began my mission to complete MY OWN BABY BOOK, relentlessly harassing my mom to recall “WHEN did I do something cute?” “WHEN did I say my sister’s name?” WHEN DID I POOP IN THE POTTY???”

    My mom, at 82 now, STILL recalls how traumatic my mission was FOR HER (with a smile). She has also admitted, over the years that MOST of the data she provided, was, indeed, made up. Really?

    So as I now descend in to the “autumn” of my life, when teeth may start to loosen, bladder control and memory fade, I’d like to document my middle aged events for my daughters (NEITHER of which have a baby book) to look upon someday as they remind me, for the 178th time, my glasses are on my head, that I really loved to …

    Reply

    • Kitten Thunder's Girl
      Mar 28, 2013 @ 13:26:12

      I wasn’t on the family tree in our Bible until I was 17. I found it, saw that I was not included, and politely handed my mother the book and a pen. Tough to be the baby!

      Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:15:07

      Joan – I love so hard that you harassed your mother into giving you details of your childhood! I also love that she later admitted that she made it all up. That story is better than any silly record of a first tooth or word! 😉 Sorry you didn’t win the book, but maybe you can create your own to pass down to your kids.

      Reply

  3. The Cutter
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 09:49:58

    Unfortunately, book stores, and other small shops like them, are casualties of the internet. Eventually, there will be no stores left anywhere. Except for restaurants, cause we’re still gonna get hungry while shopping online.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:22:32

      Yeah, but eventually we will probably be so glued into our electronic devices, that the only food establishments will be delivery places that bring food directly to us.

      Reply

  4. JM Randolph
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 10:09:24

    OH! We were just talking yesterday about how we need to seek out the Hardy Boys books for #5! Were I there, I’d snatch all those up. I’d probably try to get the encyclopedia set too, because my favorite thing to say when the kids ask me a school-related question is “Look it up.”

    Hey, I’m old enough to enter your giveaway! I first felt old when I got a silver streak in my hair at age 27, but that wasn’t old. I felt old when I found myself resenting all the nubile 20-year-olds in my Bikram class when I was 33, but that wasn’t old. I even wrote a post about how great it was to turn 40, and still believe it with my whole heart. But I think what did me in was making a Matrix reference to my 17-year-old and getting a blank stare from her, realizing that it came out when she was 2, and that it was also the last movie I saw at a theater that didn’t have talking animals, magic, or vampires in it. That made me feel OLD.

    Off to vote for you now!

    Reply

  5. JM Randolph
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 10:14:50

    The loss of actual paper bookstores is a really tough one for me to take, and I’m like you- I default to easy and convenient most often. It’s my fault. I also miss the record stores.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:25:03

      Oh man, there used to be this record store in my area called Record & Tape Traders. It was exactly what the name suggests. A place you could buy new music, but also sell your old stuff or trade it in for something else. It was a staple for all of us in my youth. Now I’m feeling old! Thanks. :p

      Reply

  6. blissflower1969
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 10:53:47

    Any chance there were any Trixie Belden books in with those Hardy Boys and Bobbsey Twins? Loved me some Trixie Belden. Way better than Nancy Drew!

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:25:43

      I went back a couple days after I wrote this post and looked, but didn’t see any Trixie Belden. Either they were too rare, or so popular that they sold out quickly.

      Reply

  7. thesinglecell
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 11:06:41

    I NEED THAT MIDDLE AGE BABY BOOK. It’s not even for me. See? Selflessness. Here’s why I need it: my friend Alicia is turning 40. She is single and fabulous and would particularly appreciate the page about the bottle intake. In fact, were you to grant me said book, I would include it in and amongst a gift basket full of liquor. And possibly leak guard pantyliners. And anti-aging cream. And awesome nail polish, because she loves nail polish.

    But in order to strictly comply with your requirement for the contest: I first realized I was old when the gray hairs became too numerous for me to find and count. Which happened when I was 28. There was a touch-and-go moment when I was 22 and wanted a gift card to Bed, Bath & Beyond for Christmas so I could buy new couch pillows, but I’ve chalked that up more to independent living than age. So we’re going with the gray hair thing.

    Reply

  8. fibot
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 11:48:57

    Brilliant find!!! Looks hilarious. And I’ve just voted for you!! Feel free to vote for me in return on this: http://www.mydestination.com/users/fibot/bbb?#tab

    Reply

  9. thoughtsappear
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 11:57:45

    I want the book! My gray hairs are becoming more and more numerous, but that’s not what clued me in. I have a tie: (1) My sudden need to start using facial moisturizers, and (2) My referring to anyone younger than me as age “like 12.”

    Reply

  10. Cheryl S.
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 13:03:41

    I have had three “aha” moments when it comes to being old. (I’ll be 42 in May)

    First, Hubby and I went out for a drink and I couldn’t believe all those children were old enough to drink!

    Second, my daughter is in 2nd grade (had her at 34). Some of the moms of the kids in her class aare young enough to be my children (had I started earlier).

    Third, if I’m up past 10:30pm it’s a late night!

    Reply

  11. Rosie
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 13:16:08

    The other day, I overheard someone call a shirt from 1986, “Vintage”. That’s right…

    Reply

  12. sarah9188
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 13:28:16

    I voted for you, Misty! And while the book looks hilarious, I don’t think I qualify as old yet. 😉 Even if I did walk around the house moaning about my hurt back for two days. Have fun in Disney; I’m super jealous!!

    Reply

  13. Maggi Shelbourn
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 13:48:38

    I realized that I was old when my “baby” brother turned 50. Ouch!

    Reply

  14. hiddinsight
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 14:06:33

    I am the oldest I have ever been.

    Reply

  15. bluzdude
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 18:27:07

    I received my first sex education from the Encyclopedias in my 6th grade classroom. One of the kids, who referred to as the “Reverend LeRoy,” after the Flip Wilson character, would get up during lunch and read from the “Good Book,” aka volume “S” for sex or “R” for reproduction. For the record, I was horrified, knowing I could never do THAT with some girl, then became even more horrified when I realized that every grownup I knew had already done it… more than once!

    I first realized I was OLD in my 30s, when I was getting dressed in a hotel room with mirrors on opposing doors, and got a look at all the gray hairs on the back of my head. (Out of sight, out of mind.) Now, I’m reminded of my oldity whenever I get a haircut and see what looks like the fur of a calico cat left on the floor, and when I get up every morning and have to take daily inventory of what hurts now.

    Reply

  16. Sandie
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 19:44:51

    Well, I really have never thought of myself as old. Forget the fact that my children are 40ish. Also foget the fact that I have four teenaged granddaughters. I have always colored my hair, so I don’t see any grey. I don’t wear my glasses when applying my makeup, so I don’t see (many) wrinkles.

    What hit home with me was when I just got my Medicare card in the mail. Ouch,

    Reply

  17. Jennifer June Clark
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 20:35:27

    I realized that ageing happens now in a steady progression, but in fit and starts. Kinda like growth spurts in kids, but in the opposite direction.

    I knew age was catching up with me when I noticed I couldn’t see the fine print any more. I needed both progressive lenses in my glasses AND brighter lights. My father-in-law used to bitch that our living room was too dark and I honestly didn’t understand what his problem was. Terry – I get it now. I’ve changed all the bulbs to 150 watts. Compact fluorescents, of course.

    Reply

  18. Go Jules Go
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 20:35:56

    I just went into a little bookstore in PA this weekend and it made me sad. (My first job was at an independent book store. Thankfully, it’s still open.) Times are a-changin’. Actually, THAT made me feel old – so there’s my entry and BAM! Twofer!

    Okay. I’m cheating. But I can’t remember the FIRST time I ever felt old ’cause I’m so old.

    Reply

  19. renée a. schuls-jacobson
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 22:24:39

    All the cool little bookstores closed up around here a long time ago. There is one about 40 miles away that I still love to visit. They have beanbags chairs that visitors can squish into. It’s kind of gross when you think about how many butts have been in those things.

    The first time I felt old was when I blew my back out. I was all: “Surely I can lift this giant gas grill that two burly guys from Home Depot put into the trunk of my car!”

    And ho ho ho. No.

    I was laid out for 4 weeks.

    And we missed a trip to Hawaii because of it.

    Which sucked.

    I had to crawl to the bathroom to pee.

    And I cried every time I had to sit down.

    I had to do physical therapy for 3 months, and damn if that L5 S1 doesn’t act up from time to time.

    So yeah, I’d like the book.

    I’m on the fast track to Geezerville.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:28:32

      Oh man, that sounds SOOOO painful. Not sure that is from age or just plain stupidity. Unless you are saying we get stupider as we age? Then yes, definitely age striking you down. Hard. 😉

      Reply

  20. winopants
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 22:44:34

    I’m addicted to Amazon, unfortunately. I love the reviews, prices and lack of insane parking lot to maneuver. I completely understand the guilt whenever I pass by a bookstore, because I remember what it was like, once upon a time, to browse bookstore aisles.
    My knees make me feel old; They always ache. It’s bad when my coworkers are constantly pointing out my “canas,” my grey hairs.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:29:54

      Damn, it doesn’t make it any easier in another language, either.

      I will go to used bookstores and find an author/book I haven’t heard of, pull out my phone and pull up Amazon for a review. So yes, I completely understand about the ease through Amazon. Mostly, I just order stuff from there anyway.

      Reply

  21. Brigette H.
    Mar 28, 2013 @ 08:52:33

    The first time I felt old was when my new doctor appeared in the exam room and I felt the urge to ask him if he’d actually graduated from college yet.

    Now I feel old every day in my daughter’s school. She’s in 2nd grade and EVERY SINGLE TEACHER in the school looks like they’re in high school.

    I turned 45 in June (so soon to be 46) and stuff started falling apart, sagging, wrinkling, graying, spotting, ugh! I miss my 30s.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:31:16

      Oh man, don’t you hate that!! That really makes me feel old when professionals I deal with are in their 20’s. I kinda want to pat them on their heads, and say, “aw, aren’t you cute, now can you send the REAL doctor in?” Man, I feel like such a grandma right now!

      Reply

  22. littlemisswordy
    Mar 28, 2013 @ 12:37:13

    I was forced to convert to the Kindle just to be able to access books about 5 years ago when we moved to Puerto Rico. Sometimes, I miss holding a real book in my hand and turning actual pages. I really miss walking into a bookstore (where the inventory isn’t all Spanish) and losing myself among the many shelves. Thanks for the post and the photos. I felt like I took a little trip the local book store with you! 😉

    As for getting old…one word…constipation. Ha ha. If anyone finds that arguable, then my answer is no longer being able to digest, ice cream or pizza. Btw, I’m not 82. Will be 42 in a couple of weeks. ha ha.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:32:27

      Don’t you hate it when your body starts rebelling on you? Damn you, decrepit body!!

      I’m glad you got to take that tour with me. I thought I felt someone breathing on my neck as I was walking around! 😉

      Reply

  23. Kitten Thunder's Girl
    Mar 28, 2013 @ 13:31:45

    In defense of encyclopedias: you need them not to find out about specific information you are looking for, but to find out what you didn’t know you were interested in. I have read our encyclopedias from cover to cover (x26) and am now a wealth of little facts. It’s a great thing to have with BORED kids – you randomly grab a book, open it to a random page and drop the knowledge in their laps. THEN you use the internet to supplement that.

    I’m not old enough for the book yet, but I knew I was getting old when drinking more was no longer the right treatment for a headache or sore feet at an event. Because the ramifications the next morning weigh on my mind more than the “fun” I’m having with the drinking.

    Reply

  24. Abby
    Mar 28, 2013 @ 13:40:51

    I will ALWAYS prefer a real book to anything electronic, which is why I don’t have a Kindle or anything. (Plus, I’m cheap.) But it’s so sad that so many independent bookstores are closing. It’s that way with a lot of independent stores, not just with books, as it’s so hard for them to compete with the big guys.

    And even though I am basically a senior citizen in that I go to bed by 10, feel 90 and actually enjoy Jeopardy, I’m not ready for a Middle Age book yet. I fear it would hit too close to home 😉

    Reply

  25. The Real Dave
    Mar 28, 2013 @ 20:33:20

    I do miss the old Encyclopedia Britannicas. And the old mom-and-pop used bookstores, where I could lose myself for hours. Especially some of the ones in San Francisco, which were a treat to explore because I kept finding hidden rooms with more collections.

    As for the giveaway, I’d say my age really hit me shortly after 40 when my first grandson was born at the end of 2008 (now I have three grandkids). Not to mention a year or two ago when I was roughhousing with an eight year old nephew and I managed to wrench my back enough to put me in agony for the better part of a week. My mind is about twenty-five years younger than my body, which is becoming less and less forgiving every year.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:36:17

      Oh yeah, rolling around on the floor with the kids gets tougher as you age. Hell, just sitting too long on the floor playing board games sometimes kills MY back, so I totally hear you there.

      Reply

  26. Vesta Vayne
    Mar 28, 2013 @ 23:12:08

    Oh man, I held on to real books as long as I could, but the Kindle is just so EASY! And compact.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:37:00

      I hear you. As long as you are comfortable knowing you are part of the problem. When the droids take over, you will have nobody but yourself to blame. 😉

      Reply

  27. flyingplatypi
    Mar 28, 2013 @ 23:23:21

    I am always sad to see a book store close… It’s like the machines are winning…

    Hugs!

    Valerie

    Reply

  28. tracy barnett
    Mar 29, 2013 @ 14:25:51

    What a lovely little bookstore…so sad. The book looks hilarious!!

    There are so many moments when I realized I was growing old…being married 27 years (and we got married old!), when my baby turned 21 last year (and I had him when I was 29!), I think especially when I colored my hair black a few years back and our son’s response was “Moooom, you’re TOO old for that.” Peole seem kind though and sometimes tell me I look younger than I am….haven’t been carded in some time though….darn!

    I love real books too! “The Bobbsey Twins” Yes! Did they have any “Cherry Ames”?

    Take best of care!

    Reply

  29. tracy barnett
    Mar 29, 2013 @ 14:29:39

    Blissflower I love me some “Trixie Belden” too!

    Reply

  30. the cotton floozy
    Mar 29, 2013 @ 15:35:53

    My oh-crap-I’m-old moment happened a few weeks ago, when I was sitting on the living room in the early morning. I heard a Bzzzz Bzzzz-ing noise, wondered what it was for a few seconds, and then realized that it was my son SHAVING WITH AN ELECTRIC RAZOR.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:39:23

      Oh no. No no no, that is NOT ok. You tell him to put that thing down, and go back to playing with his legos! Damn kids and their refusing to stay little and cute. Grumble grumble.

      Reply

  31. Phil Taylor
    Mar 31, 2013 @ 06:56:13

    Awesome post! I used to read those Hardy Boys books as a kid. And why didn’t the Hardy Boys ever hook up with Nancy Drew? Who doesn’t love nostalgia? That’s what bookstores are becoming though. I don’t think that physical books will ever go completely away though. When escalators and elevators came along did they get rid of stairs?

    Reply

  32. transformednonconformist
    Mar 31, 2013 @ 07:07:07

    As I got older I noticed the strange pops and creaks, but was able to roll with whatever new pain came along. It didn’t really hit me until one night I was flossing my teeth and pulled a muscle in my neck.

    I got to old to FLOSS without taking precautions. I must be old.

    Reply

  33. pegoleg
    Apr 02, 2013 @ 10:48:58

    I am also responsible for the demise of the small bookstore, but not because of Amazon. I’m busy supporting all the libraries in the area!

    I realized I was old when I heard the word “youngsters” actually come out of my mouth. I thought my grandmother was standing behind me.

    Reply

  34. Andrea @ Maybe It's Just Me
    Apr 10, 2013 @ 15:45:17

    Hmmmm…there did come a point when I had to admit that I did not have blonde highlights suddenly showing up in my hair. I have never had blonde highlights, so there appearance in my late 30’s should have seemed quizzical. The variety of aches and pains I experience from such simple tasks as vacuuming or lifting laundry bags, or apparently walking 100 feet in the wrong shoes was another tip off that my time machine was not working. Watching people around me age, and having 2 teenagers as of tomorrow pretty much makes my age undeniable!

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Apr 16, 2013 @ 10:42:37

      Oh man! I remember when I could wear heels all night long, and dance in them no less, and be just fine. Now? I need to wear “sensible shoes.” Crap, I am a grandma!

      Reply

  35. Trackback: You Know You’re Old When . . . | Misty's Laws

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