A Hot Cup O’ Joe

Holy crap, you guys!  Y’all really want this mug, huh?  Which is spectacular, because I spent my hard earned duckets to get that thing for you.  I mean, this is by far the most expensive thing I’ve ever given away, and I was so worried that nobody would think it was as rad as I did.  And I know what you’re probably thinking right now, “most expensive?  A mug?  What the hell?”  Well, the hell is that it’s from Disney, and everything there is stupid expensive.  I think it’s the extra magic particles they put in all of their stuff.  Or the fact that they need to pay extra to the fairies on the production line.  Whatever the reason, this was no ordinary FIVE BELOW kinda mug, ya dig?  So, I am very pleased with the responses I got for it.  Ok, then.  Enough of all that.  Let’s get to it.

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Once again, my kids came into play.  Sorry for those of you who voted for certain people and/or comments (ahem Hippie ahem), but this also limits my ability to pick a favorite as well.  So it’s all fair-like, capisce?

This time, I enlisted the services of my eldest son, 7, to help me.  There were a larger than usual amount of people who entered, which meant lots and lots of little papers which needed folding.  (Yes, I do actually type up each name, print them out and then cut them into equal sized pieces, before folding them into little squares and putting them into a hat to be picked . . . what?).  So, because of the extra volume of papers, I told 7 I needed his help folding them all up.  And after folding up a few, he commented: “huh, this is kinda fun.”  I love my little dork. 

So, since 7 was on folding duty (and hat holding), I let 4 pick the name:

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And who, praytell, is the lucky new owner of this super mega ridiculously fabulous drinking vessel, you may ask?  Well, it’s none other than:

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Woo-hoo!!  I am very excited for this win.  I think she may have needed a little special something more than anyone right now, being from Boston and having a very heart heavy week.  The fates (or 4) apparently knew she needed a little pick me up in the form of a mickey mug.  So, agirl, congrats on this super mega wonderfully rad win!!  I hope it will make you smile.

Go ahead and send over your deets and I’ll send this out to you.  mistyslaws at gmail dot com.


And, because everyone was so keen to know the answer to my little riddle from the last post, about whose face was on the other foot (if you didn’t read this, go back, and that phrase will make much more sense) . . . the answer is:


A few of you guessed it, so good job.  You don’t get a prize or anything.  I mean, except for having the knowledge of 50’s era stars who died young and guessing the correct one, which is a prize in and of itself.  So . . . go you! 

Make ’em Laugh

Last week was tough.  There were deaths, explosions, maiming, manhunts and lockdowns.  The entire country seemed to be in a state of shock and depression, and I was no exception.  So, by the end of the week, I was really glad that I had scored some tickets to go see Kathy Griffin.  We really needed some comedy in the midst of the non-stop horrors being replayed on the 24 hour news stations. 

We left the house with every intention of getting downtown with enough time to grab some sushi at a nearby restaurant.  An accident, closed street and 20 extra minutes of traffic via a detour derailed that plan.  So, we headed straight to the theater, and instead decided to drink.  Seemed like a valid alternative.

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I found it interesting that a bar in a theater that regularly has operatic performances serves Jello Shots.  And no, I didn’t get one, but I was tempted.  I instead had the Caramel Apple Martini.  In a plastic cup.  It was classy.  But also delicious!

When we found our seats, we realized that we had somehow ended up with pretty good ones.  We were about 5th row centerish, which was unexpected.  See, I ordered the tix months ago through Groupon, so I had no idea what I was getting, especially at half price!  But we were hooked up. 

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After a few minutes, a pair of girls sat down beside me.  I happened to overhear them mention something about getting the same deal, and asked them if they also got tickets from Groupon.  They said yes, and we started chatting about the great and unexpected seats.  I talked to them for a bit.  They were very . . . vivacious.  At one point, I turned to the hubs and said, “look at me being social!”  I could tell by the reluctant momentary glance away from CNN.com on his iPhone, that he was very impressed with my feigned extraversion.  At one point in our conversation, I happened to notice the top of one of the girls’ foot.  There was a face there.  I remarked about how cool it was, thinking she would tell me it was her boyfriend or husband or something.  Nope.

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In case you can’t tell, that’s a picture of James Dean.  On the top of her foot.  That just seems . . . painful.  She had another face on the top of her other foot as well.  Any guesses as to whose face might be there?  You know what . . . I’m not going to tell you.  I’ll let you try to figure it out . . .

Once Kathy came out, we were pretty much ready to get our laugh on.  And she didn’t disappoint.  She is basically one of those people who you either love or hate, I’ve found.  So, I’ve included a video of some of the performance, and if you are so inclined, you can see some of her show below.  (Warning:  NSFW).

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(Click picture for video)

photoAfter the show, we were pretty much starving, since we hadn’t had dinner yet, and it was approaching 11:00 at night.  So, we figured we would revisit the sushi place we had initially had our sights set on.  The only problem was, according to their website, they closed at 11:00.  It was 10:45.  We had to hurry.  When we arrived, they didn’t want to serve us, but we noted that it was still 15 minutes until they closed, that we were starving, and that we would order right away.  They graciously allowed us to come in.  We quickly ordered some rolls, and within a couple of minutes, except for the waitress, we were the only people in the place.  It was a little strange.

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After 11:00, we started noticing something else a little strange.  A very raucous noise that sounded like it was coming from the basement of the place.  We soon discovered why the wait staff was so keen on shutting the doors at 11:00.  Apparently, that was when the karaoke started downstairs.  It was . . . loud.  And not entirely pleasant.   Pretty much exactly how karaoke is supposed to be.  So, as we finished our delicious rolls, we were serenaded by some incredibly poor singers, that apparently did not understand the concept of reading the words of the song they were attempting to sing.  There was a lot of mumbling is what I’m saying.  And then!  Then, a guy started making what can only be described as ear shattering and soul crushing noises.  We deciphered that it was supposed to be Never Gonna Give You Up.  Wow.

But look at me!  Being all selfish.  I mean, why should I be the only one to experience the gloriousness that was this singer’s voice?  No, that would just be wrong.  In fact, when I was listening to this sweet serenade of Rick Astley’s wonderful hit song, I was thinking, “you know who would really enjoy this?  Everyone!”  So, that’s when I hit record.  You’re welcome!

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Not that anyone asked, I’m sure, but immediately after this stirring rendition of the song, the gentleman decided to perform an encore.  That was pretty much our cue to flee the premises.  I don’t think we could take that . . . twice.

Put Me In, Coach


It’s that time of the year again . . . baseball season!!  The family and I were fortunate enough to get opening day tickets for the start of the Baltimore Oriole’s season this year.  The only problem?  We would be on a plane headed home from Disney during the game.  Drats.  So, we decided to do the next best thing . . . get tickets for the next night’s game.  Which is where we found ourselves one brisk spring evening in April.

Baseball in Baltimore has a long legacy.  The Orioles have been really good for some of those years, and just plain awful for many more.  And in fact, excepting last year’s playoff run, the birds have stunk up the joint for about 2 decades past.  Luckily, Balmorons have a short memory, and it seems that every spring, no matter how bad they have been or for how long, there is still a feeling of hope.  An optomistic thought of, “maybe this will be our year.”  And with the playoff run at the end of last year, the citizens of this fine city may just have a reason to hope this year.  Fingers crossed.

So, it was with this resurgence of hope and optimism that we entered the stadium, with a couple of thousand other hopeful fans.  It was our first game of the year, and the entire family was in attendance, including even some extended family who had seats in another part of the park.  We were all very excited.  My husband had ordered our seats specifically so we could be close to the field, hoping that there might just be a small chance that my oldest son, 7 years old and in love with all things baseball, might just get lucky enough to get a foul ball.  Our seats were front row on the left field side of the outfield.  Pretty nice, really.


We arrived at the stadium about an hour before the game, intending to get there early enough to relax, have some food, and settle in.  Instead of our usual m.o. of running late, rushing around, and showing up mid-way through the 1st inning.  This was a far better way of dealing with this kind of event, especially with young kids.

While we were settling into our seats, we saw the Oriole Bird come onto the field a little ways from where we were sitting.  My hubs took my youngest over to see what was happening on the field.  That is when we realized that they were grabbing kids from the stands to come out and “play baseball” with the bird.  Once we realized this, we asked our kids if they wanted to go over to be picked.  My youngest was all for it.  My oldest . . . you know, Mr. I Love Baseball . . . wanted no part of it.  No thanks, not interested.  I’ll just watch.  (Oh man, he is so my son).


But my 4 year old leapt out there onto the field when it was his turn.  And he hit the ball(s) thrown to him, and got to run around the “bases” set up out on the outfield there.  He thought it was pretty awesome.

But then, as my older son is just standing there watching, not even right in front of where this was occurring, but probably about 2 sections over from where all the commotion was happening, one of the “handlers” comes running over to him.  He points up to him and says, “hey, do you want to come down?”  And my son is like, “sure.”  Wait, what?  Oh, and did I mention that at this point there is a line of children waiting to go down on the field in the area they had been picking kids from?  Yeah, I have no idea what prompted this guy to run over and grab my son, but I was just glad that he agreed to do it.  Because he had so much fun.

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What was even cooler was that the Bird kept doing this thing where he would pick up 2nd base as the kids were running towards it and play keep away with it.  With my son, he picked it up, played keep away, and then tossed it over his shoulder, so that it landed about mid-center field.  My son, who is a very, “huh, ok then,” type of kid, just altered his course and took off running to the newly distributed second base . . . all the way out in the outfield of Camden Yards.  So, basically, he got to traipse all around the field because of the Bird’s nonsense.  Pretty sweet for that huge baseball fan.

So, once my kids were done playing with the Bird and making their imprints all over the field, it was time for the game to start.  A couple of innings in, I started to get very thirsty, so I figured I would stretch my legs a bit and go get a beverage.  As I was walking around the outermost ring of the stadium, where all the food and beverage kiosks are, I chose one that basically had the shortest line.  As I got up to the girl serving the beers and ordered 2 (1 for the hubs, I wasn’t that thirsty), the girl said something that endeared her to me for all time:  “May I see your ID?”  Yep, that’s right, people.  I got carded!  I did notice a sign posted that said they carded everyone under the age of 30, but still, that would make me look 29.  I will totally take it!

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After I got back to my seat, and then everyone played a few rounds of “take a child to the bathroom to empty his bladder,” it was time to settle in to watch some baseball.  It was getting dark, and subsequently, the temps were dropping.  Everyone was pulling out their winter accessories . . . hats, gloves, earmuffs, etc.  It was really quite chilly.  And we had just returned from 80* Florida weather the day before, so it was pretty jarring. 

Accordingly, when a player from the Minnesota Twins hit a foul ball straight to our section, landing in the outstretched winter gloved hand of the man sitting 3 seats to my right, instead of actually catching the ball, it bounced of his highly padded paw and dropped back onto the field.  And subsequently, the outfielder, Nate McLouth, jogged over to pick it up, then looked up at the outstretched baseball gloved hand of my 7 year old, and tossed it right up to him.  That’s right, he got that foul ball, after all!  Good planning with those seats, hubs!


Thanks, Nate!

All in all a pretty stellar night at the Yard.  Kids got to run around on the field, foul ball straight from a player’s hand, and I was indirectly told that I look 29.  Yep, a good night all around, I’d say.


If you haven’t already, make sure you visit my last post, and enter to win the raddest mug ever!  All you have to do is tell me about your Happiest Place on Earth.  And really, can’t we all use a little happy right about now?  Go on . . .

The Magical Mickey Mug

Hey guys . . . anyone sick of hearing me talk about Disney?  Because since I’ve returned from my trip, I’ve talked about Disney here.  And then I also talked about it here.  And then, I even talked about it some more here.  Disneydisneydisneydisneydisneydisneydisneydisneydisneydisneydisney!!!

Well, if you are indeed completely and utterly over all discussion of that redundant D word, you may want to skip this post.  However, if you just stopped reading after that last paragraph, then you failed to realize that this isn’t any old post about ((whisper~disney~whisper)).  Oh no, this is a post-Disney supermegaspectaculargasmic . . .


That’s right.  While I was away with my family for a fun-filled, yet exhausting trip to the big D (and I don’t mean Dallas), I was thinking about all of you, my dear readers, sitting at work or at home, not getting to walk miles and miles and miles around 4 different parks.  And while I was scoping out which goodies to buy for myself and my friends, I also made sure to find something that I could give to one lucky reader.  And I did.  I found it.  I think it is super rad, and seriously almost kept it for myself.  But, as you know, I’m a giver.  So, I would never do such a thing!  That would just be wrong. 

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How freaking rad is that?  It looks like 2 mugs stacked together, but in reality, it’s just ONE!  Magic.  BAM.  Only the best for you, dear readers.  Only the best.

Ok, task time . . . this is where I tell you what small animals you must sacrifice special something you need to do in order to qualify to win this gen-U-wine Disney Perks Parks souvenir.

So, they say that Disney World is The Happiest Place on Earth.  Based on my experience there, I would say this is a highly idealized statement.  True, there is fun to be had at the numerous parks sprinkled about Orlando, but mostly it is exhausting and frustrating, if I’m going to be honest.  And not just for the parents.  The kids get worn out as well.  Every single one of us took naps each afternoon during the week we were in Disney.  It was necessary so that we didn’t end up murdering each other.  So, while I would say that the week we spent in Disney was enjoyable, if I were to be asked if it is the Happiest Place on Earth, I would have to say, at least for me personally, that it is not.

What is then, you might ask?  Well, for me, the happiest place on earth is my bathtub, filled with hot bubbly water, with me in it, relaxing with a good book and a glass of wine.  No hubs, no kids, no obligations or responsibilities.  Just soaking and relaxing, letting myself drift away into whatever fantasy world I am reading about.  For me?  That’s heaven.

So, in order to be entered into the giveaway drawing, I want you to tell me what your happiest place is.  Is it an amusement park?  A secluded island somewhere?  Your couch at home surrounded by your family?  It can be anywhere that you feel happiest.  Tell me all about it in the comments, and you will be entered to win that awesome mug up there.  I will have one of my kids pick a name at random.  And if you win, you can fill it with whatever beverage makes you happiest. 

Good luck to all.

The Quest for Mickey

On my recent family trip to Disney World, which I talked about here and here, there were many parks visited and many characters met and photographed.  Strangely, though, it seemed that one was more elusive than I would have thought.  A certain mouse, who some might call “the boss of Disney.”  (Some = my 4 year old son).

As we journeyed through park after park, visiting shows and rides and character events . . . somehow, we did not get to see Mickey!  Mickey, where are you?  It seemed as if a sighting of that famous rodent was as rare as seeing a well-mannered, sober and punctual Lindsay Lohan. 

Even though we couldn’t seem to get face to face with Mickey the Mouse, his presence was felt and sensed everywhere we went.  It was almost like he was mocking us.


Starting with the tickets to the parks.  There’s his smiling face right there.  Taunting us with the assumed promise of his eventual presence at the parks.  Drawing us in like a siren song, only to crush our hopes and dreams on the rocks of Epcot.


And then . . . Mickey-shaped pancakes!!  Ah, surely we will see him today, after such an auspicious start to the morning.


Topiary Mickey?  Nope, just not the same as the real thing.  But pretty, nonetheless.


Hmm, now I feel as if you are just teasing us, Hollywood Studios.  Just the outline?  Those ears kept popping up all over the place.  It’s like they were following us . . . teasing, mocking, calling us names.  For shame, Mickey ears.  For shame.


We finally thought we found him, but alas, it was only a tiny puppet sized Mickey.  Only even half of him.  Disappointing.


All of this incessant and fruitless searching, made me very thirsty.  Very thirsty.  So, I decided that I would take a break for a couple tropical drinks from the poolside bar.  Mmmmm.  Wait, who were we searching for again?


Back to the search . . . I knew I was getting closer when I found Mickey’s balls.


There he is!  There’s Mickey!  But . . . he’s so far away.  How on earth will I ever get to hug him and squeeze him when he’s up so high on a moving float that is travelling right on by me?  Oh Mickey.  We were so close!


Obviously, I needed another drink to soothe my poor battered searching soul.  This was one I had my eye on all week, so I figured what better time to have a relaxing brew.  Even if it was non-alcoholic. 


Wait, what’s this now?  Backstage magic with Mickey Mouse?  MEET the master magician?  Oh boy, I think I might have actually found him.  He’s been hiding in this secret room the whole time!!  I will finally get to meet the big cheese himself.  Mickey Freakin’ Mouse!


Mickey & Me

It was everything I imagined it would be and more.  As you can tell from the above picture, I couldn’t stop smiling or hugging Mickey when I met him.  I felt like I was in the presence of greatness.  He was just a super nice and sweet little mouse, and I was so happy that I was finally able to track him down.  Even if it did almost take the entire week to suss him out of his little hidey hole.  Oh Mickey.  You’re so fine.  You’re so fine, you blow my mind.  Hey, Mickey.

You Know You’re Old When . . .

A few weeks ago, this post introduced all of you, my dear readers, to the wonder that is this book:

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My Middle-Aged Baby Book

And I asked everyone to comment on what was making them feel old, in order to qualify to win this book.  And oh boy, did you guys come through.  From aching backs, and various other body parts, to so very many grey hairs.  The grown-up children, and the “youngsters” who seem “like 12,” but are already shaving.  Hurting in the mornings after a night of too much fun, or receiving your Medicare card in the mail.

All examples given which are excellent indicators of feeling old age approaching.

But for one of you . . . your old ass gets a prize for revealing what made you feel all decrepit and elderly.  And I will let my son, 4, tell you who that winner is . . .

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I’m especially happy about this one, because she said in her comment that if she won, she would be giving the book away as a gift to her friend turning 40, and would include it in a basket of booze.  Now THAT’S a girl after my own heart.

So congrats to you, singlecell, and congrats also to your soon to be 40 lucky friend, for having such an awesome person as you as a friend.

Hope she enjoys the book!  There’s no doubt she’ll enjoy the booze.

Send me all of your info, and I will send you this book as soon as possible.  mistyslaws at gmail dot com.

The Disney Diaries: The ReDisneying

Continuing on from the first post about my exciting trip to Disney . . .

We continue our journey to the next park we visited . . . Hollywood Studios.

Wait.  I can hear what you’re thinking right now . . . “but Misty, didn’t you already do Hollywood Studios?”  (And if you aren’t asking that, you apparently didn’t read the first installment, or just weren’t paying close enough attention.  Hey!  You.  Yes, YOU.  The one over there just scrolling through to look at the pretty pictures . . . pay attention!!).

Ahem, where was I?  Oh, yes . . . the revisit to Hollywood.  The first time we visited was the first night we arrived, and we were only there for dinner and a show.  We didn’t get to actually DO anything, so we planned a whole day there later in the week.  We clear now?  Same page?  Ok, good . . . let’s move along.

This was one of my favorite parks, as it had lots of shows and activities and characters and events.  Not a ton of rides, but the one we did go on was a very popular and fun ride, and we only waited about 5 minutes for it.  Score!  We also went to a live action stunt show with car chases and motorcycles and guys catching on fire.  Pretty cool, especially with my crew of boys.  And speaking of my boys, they got to be Jedi knights in training and fight Darth Vader!  Well, one of them actually got to fight him.  My youngest was all for it until Darth appeared on the scene all big and bad, and that’s when he got scared and opted out of that activity.  There may have been some tears.  But he was proud of his brother and still got a little scroll thing for participating in the training, so it was all good.


But then again, he did have a brush with fame in that he got to shake hands with a real life celebrity during the Pixar parade!


The one thing we didn’t do at Hollywood was go on the one and only ride that I had specifically said that I wanted to go on.  The Aerosmith Rock & Rollercoaster.  This thing looked hella cool, and I am a fan of rollercoasters.  And although we were there for the kids, I figured mom should get one.  Just one.  But alas, it was not to be.  It was a very popular ride with huge wait times, and there was just never a good time for me to run off by myself and wait in line for 2 hours just for one ride.  So, maybe next time.


This was just the entrance to the courtyard IN FRONT of the ride. How cool is that?

That same evening we visited Downtown Disney.  This is basically an open air mall type place with lots of themed restaurants and Disney type stores, including the largest Disney Store ever.  Seriously, it was so big it was actually kind of overwhelming.  Like a funhouse of huge rooms filled with more Disney crap than you can imagine.  Somehow, I only bought 2 things.  Not sure how that happened.  Maybe because of the overwhelmedness of it all.  I kind of just wanted to escape.  Too much stuff.  Too many people.  Just too much.

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Our goal in going to Downtown Disney, was to go to this fun restaurant someone had recommended to us as something the kids would like, called the T-Rex Cafe.  Sort of like a Rainforest Cafe, but with dinosaurs.  So, the hubs dropped me off and went to park, so I could run through the pouring rain to put our names in.  But when I got up to the restaurant, I discovered it was a two and a half hour wait.  Um, no thank you.  Luckily, there was no shortage of restaurants around us, including a Rainforest Cafe.  So, I checked at the next closest restaurant, which was this huge riverboat replica on a lake, and the wait there was 2 hours.  Getting better, but still too long.  So, I went to the restaurant beside that one:


Now, if you have been reading this blog for a while, you might be familiar with both my love for Italian food, and my complete and utter disdain and hatred of all things mushroom.  And as you may know, Portobello is a type of mushroom.  So yeah, it took everything I had for my soaked to the bone and dripping self to walk inside this joint to ask how long the wait was.  But here, it was only an hour and a half, which was the best yet!  Fearing it wasn’t going to get much better, I gave our name, told the hubs where to meet me, and decided I would try one more . . . the Rainforest Cafe.  Which was all the way at the end of this huge area.  But, I figured it wasn’t like we didn’t have time.  So I trekked down there and asked them how long the wait was.  And that is where they had the audacity to tell me . . . three hours and twenty-five minutes.  Are you kidding me?   That girl is lucky I didn’t punch her in the face when she told me that.  There is no food in the world that is worth waiting that long to eat.  Especially when it is a kid themed restaurant and that would have us eating at 11:00 at night.  The fuck?

Anyway, while we were waiting for Portobello’s to vibrate me (What? They gave me a buzzer.  Sicko!), we visited some of the massive stores that were nearby.  I already mentioned the ginormous Disney Store, but there was also this super cool Lego Store there as well.  And they had all these amazing Lego sculptures (not sure what you would call them, so I’m going with that), in and around the store:

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Pretty cool, right?  How much time did those take, do you think?  Oh, and while we were walking around, I got buzzed by the restaurant . . . only a half hour after I gave them our name!  How awesome is that?  Oh, and in case you are wondering . . . my meal was delicious (spaghetti and meatballs) and free of all fungi.


Moving on to the main show . . . the Magic Kingdom.  I will admit that we actually went to this park three times.  The first day we were a little too touristy, what with all the picture taking at the entrance, then down main street, then in front of the castle, etc.  By the time we finished with all of that crap, the park was filling up and the ride lines were getting super long.  So, because we a) hadn’t hurried to get on the most popular rides first thing and b) didn’t have a plan, and figured we’d just wing it . . . we went on about 3 rides before it was time to go.  Yep, you heard me.  So, although we had planned to go twice, once in the beginning of the week and again on the last day, we had to rearrange the schedule and throw one more visit in there.  The next day, we had smartened up.  Enough of this laid back crap.  That was not gonna work at this joint.  So the night before, I spread out the Disney map, my list of activities and itinerary, and I made a plan.  And you know what happened the next day?  We got on a fuckton of rides, and the kids were happy, satiated and exhausted by mid-afternoon when it was time to go back to the hotel and take naps.  That’s how you do Disney, hubs! my friends.

Here is a picture of a pidgeon on Walt Disney's head.  Because . . . why not.

Here is a random picture of a pigeon on Walt Disney’s head. Because . . . why not.

The last day we were in Disney was to be our third and final trip to the Magic Kingdom.  The day started off with a torrential downpour.  But we were determined to go anyway, so I opted to buy an overpriced umbrella in the hotel gift shop before we caught the bus to the park.  I had ponchos in my bag, but figured an umbrella would be needed as well based on the massive amount of rain coming down.  It was one of the only things I forgot to pack, and I paid $14.00 for that neglectful thought.  When we arrived at the park, after a half hour bus ride, then a 10 minute monorail trip, it was still overcast and dreary, but the rain had abated almost completely.  Of course, I attribute this to the fact that I bought an overpriced umbrella first thing in the morning from the hotel.  If I had neglected that one detail, I’m sure it would have poured all day.  You’re welcome, everyone at Disney World!!

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Because of the rain, the crowds were definitely thinner that day.  Once we ventured a bit further into the park, it was eery how empty the place was, when the previous days it had been wall to wall people.


But don’t worry . . . once the weather improved, so did the crowds.  It was once again packed full of vacationing families by late morning, and we had finally had enough Disney by around noon.  So, we bid a fond farewell to the mousehouse, and headed on back to our lovely hotel (The Hilton – Bonnet Creek, for those of you who inquired on the previous post), so we could nap, take one last dip in the amazing pool (hubs & kids), and start packing up all of our crap (me).

However, we still had one more evening at Disney, so we decided we would have a nice dinner in the hotel at a place we had been eyeing all week.  A sushi bar!!  The hubs and I are big fans of sushi, and we were getting tired of the same old boring fare.  We figured we would find something for the kids there, and that we would finally get some sushi.  Luckily, they had a kids’ menu, so the kids happily ate chicken fingers and fries.  What was super fun, was that they also actually experimented with chopsticks and with sushi, and by the end of the night, my youngest was using chop sticks on a shrimp tempora roll all by himself!!  He is a natural.  My oldest had a bit more trouble getting it, and he also was not a huge fan of the sushi he tried, but at least he was game.  That’s really all I can ask.

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After dinner, we went to this little coffee shop next to the sushi restaurant for dessert.  They had various delicious ice creams to choose from (which I may or may not have tried about 4 of before deciding, and the girl working there may or may not have given me a bunch of snarky shit about it . . . loved her!), and we all got a scoop.  It was exceptionally good, but what I loved the most about it was the sign in the shop about the ice cream.  I like my scrumptious fatty foods to be completely and totally unapologetic, thank you:


But not just dinner and dessert . . . but a show!  We discovered on our last night that there was a convention in the hotel, and that there was a dance competition right there at the hotel.  So as we were walking around, we got to see all of these couples out in the hallways, practicing for the big event.  It was like being backstage at Dancing with the Stars, although with less, you know . . . stars.  Or maybe about the same, really.

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So, that wraps up my fun-filled tale of Disney.  Pretty short and simple, yes?  Yeah, sorry about that.  I tried to keep the first one manageable, but this one got away from me.  I just kept adding more things and realizing there was something else I needed to add, until you got . . . well, this behemoth.  Oops.

I’ll keep it short and sweet tomorrow (I’m going to reveal the winner of the old farts book), and then have another giveaway for next week of something Disneyish, so please don’t leave me yet!  I can buy your love with gifts.

The Disney Diaries

My family just returned from a week long vacation.   It was a whirlwind week full of fun and festivities at The Happiest Place on Earth.  No, we didn’t go to Target.  Nope, not to the liquor store, either.  Even though those are my happiest places.  We took a trip to the magical land of Disney World.

Our journey began at the ungodly hour of four a.m., where your intrepid heroine (that’s me), dragged her tired ass out of bed and into the shower, so as to leave her home surrounded by pitch black, in order to catch this plane:


Yes, that’s right, boys and girls . . . I had to entrust the safety of myself and my family to a plane which was coated in rival football team colors and emblem!  Seriously, we almost didn’t get on.  But, it was only a hop up to Philly on this abomination, so we reluctantly boarded this thing as dawn broke over the horizon.


As we were awaiting take-off, I happened to notice a very strange thing on the plane.  It seems that the gentleman seated directly in front of me was prepared for both cold and warm weather.  He had his sandals on . . . with socks.  But the truly noteworthy thing was . . . they were the same sandals that I own and expected to wear throughout our trip.  Only thing is, I would not be wearing socks with mine.


Upon arriving at our hotel, we inspected our rooms and looked outside to see a lovely view of some of the Disney parks, and also the hotel’s massive pool.  Complete with mile long lazy river.  The kids were stoked!!


But, there was no time for swimming at that point.  We had reservations for dinner and a show at Hollywood Studios.  So . . .  we were off!!


The dinner was a mediocre but wildly overcharged buffet, but the show was fantastic.  Actually, it was Fantasmic!


The next day we travelled over to Animal Kingdom and went on a real life animal safari, sans the actual Africa.  We took a vehicle through a huge animal preserve and saw all sorts of African animals just going about their little animal businesses.

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After the safari, we happened upon a live action Finding Nemo show, where the fish were these sort of big puppets being controlled by actors/singers on the stage.  It was actually pretty cool.  Or as one character would say . . . righteous, RIGHTEOUS!!

It was all perfectly cool, until the ginormous dancing penis came out . . . then it just got a little weird.


Later in the afternoon, we went to a “character lunch,” which is lunch at a restaurant where a bunch of characters walk around and meet everyone as they eat.  I know it is a complicated concept.  Try to follow along.  On the way out of the restaurant, there was some sort of street performance going on, and we hung out for a few minutes to listen and watch.  But then, the lead singer seemed to start leading everyone in some sort of mousekercize, so at that point, I was out.


After a long and tiring day of trekking across the African plains park, we decided to spend a little time at the pool.  So, we relaxed and watched a pool-side movie under the stars.  Not a bad way to end the day.


The following day found us at Epcot.  Honestly, there isn’t a whole lot to do at Epcot for kids, unless you want to wait 2+ hours for the most popular ride there, which we did not, thank you very much.  But we did go on a Finding Nemo ride, and afterwards, we visited something called Turtle Talk with Crush, where the turtle dude from the movie appeared on a screen and gave info to all the assembled kiddies on the floor in front of him, and even took some questions.  My 2 kids were in the very front.  And if you can believe it, Crush picked on 7 as his first victim subject to interrogate question. 


That’s my boy in the hat with the microphone in his face.

Which was all well and good with the “what’s your name?” and “where are you from?” questions.  It’s when he got to the “who are you here with?” and “parents, raise your hands . . . let’s talk to them” part where it got interesting.  And by interesting, I mean getting a microphone shoved into my face and having to answer questions from an animated turtle on a big screen.  Yeah, so there was that.  I guess that makes me a star?  Autograph lines start to the left . . .

After our brush with fame, we walked around the big lake at Epcot and visited a few of the “countries” there.  We even stayed to see the fireworks show, which was nice.  If you like fireworks, that is.  My feelings towards them can pretty much be summed up with a resounding, “meh.” 


The next day, we awoke to find a pretty cool site outside our hotel window:


Hot Air Balloons flying high over Disney.  You can also see some of the main Hollywood Studios buildings there as well (the Tower of Terror to your right, the big magic Mickey hat in the middle, etc.).  It was a pretty magical way to start the day.

And then we were ready to finally head over to the Magic Kingdom . . . the mecca of all things Disney.


And since I’ve probably lost most of my audience at this point, this having become a forced family vacation slide show of sorts, I will release all of you from further vacation stories . . . for now.

To be continued . . . . . . . .