Conversations with My FIVE Year Old

Well, today is 4’s birthday.  Making him 4 no longer, but a big, huge 5!  Are you getting that?  My youngest child, my baby, is now a 5-year-old and will soon be in kindergarten!!  Damn.  Way to make your mom feel old, kid!

Anyway, because today is 5’s special day, I decided to dedicate an entire “Convos with” post to him.  And since it’s been many months since I’ve posted one of these, I have plenty of material just from him, trust me!



5:  You know what’s inside pyramids?
Me:  No, what?
5:  Mummies.
Me:  Oh yeah?
5:  Yeah, you know how mummies hide inside pyramids, and then when people walk by, they jump out and scare them?
Me:   Um, sure.  Why not?
(Annnnddddd, cancelling my trip to Egypt, now).


5:  I wish my name was Fisafer.
Me:  Christopher?
5:  No, FIS-a-FER.
Me:  Why?
5:  Because I like that MUCH better than my name now!
(Everyone’s a critic).


Me:  When you finish dinner, we will watch the Disney World video.
5:  I bet Mickey Mouse will be on the video!
Me:  Yeah, I’m pretty sure you WILL see Mickey on the Disney video.
5:  That’s because Mickey is the BOSS of Disney World!!


5:  Do we get presents on Green Patrick’s Day?


Me:  You had a cookie?  But you don’t LIKE cookies!! (Said dripping with sarcasm).
5:  YES I DO!!
Me:  No WAY!  Since when?
5:  Well, I like candy!  Even though it sometimes feels all gloppy in my throat, I still like it.


Hubs:  What’s the difference between a chicken finger and a chicken nugget?
5:  The name. 
(Literal answer for the win!)


Hubs:  How was your day?
Me:  It was ok.
5:  Was it a longer day?
Me:  Longer than what?
5:  Longer than expected.
Me:  No, it was about as long as it normally is.
5:  Was it a lover day?
Me:  What’s a “lover” day?
5:  You know, did you love it more than you expected?
Me:  Um, no.  Definitely not.


Hubs:  You know not to drink the pool water, right?
5:  Yes.
Hubs:  And why is that?
5:  So I don’t swallow any criminals.
(And yes, we were apparently vacationing at Rikers Island.  Chemicals is the word he was going for, by the way).


31 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. renée a. schuls-jacobson
    May 03, 2013 @ 08:35:07

    Congratulations, Misty! These days, Tech likes to correct me. If misspell, he is the first to jump on that opportunity. I like the idea of lover day. Maybe I’ll go out and find one now.



  2. flyingplatypi
    May 03, 2013 @ 08:54:24

    Omg… This kid is a genius!!! WE SHOULD ALL GET PRESENTS ON ST PATTYS DAY!!!!




    • mistyslaws
      May 10, 2013 @ 10:58:28

      I know! Poor St. Patrick. Missing out on gift giving opportunities on his day. It should just be about drinking massive amounts of beer!! Oh, wait . . .


  3. aliceatwonderland
    May 03, 2013 @ 08:54:29

    I wouldn’t want to swallow any criminals either.


  4. donofalltrades
    May 03, 2013 @ 09:22:23

    Ha, I need to start writing what the kids say down, it’s pretty hilarious. Have a lover weekend, Misty! How shitty that we parents age a little more not only on our own birthdays, but also on our kids’ special days as well.


  5. bschooled
    May 03, 2013 @ 10:12:28

    I don’t usually (read:ever) say this, but I think I want to adopt Fisafer.


  6. Nelson - One Old Sage
    May 03, 2013 @ 10:15:33

    Out of the mouths of babes. You can’t beat it. 🙂


  7. Nagzilla
    May 03, 2013 @ 11:12:15

    I love the nugget/finger comment. And I agree- we should totally get presents for Green Patrick’s Day.
    And just have to say, if his turning five makes you feel old, hang on for high school. You’ll feel ancient.


  8. Don't Quote Lily
    May 03, 2013 @ 12:18:19

    Haha…I think you might have a little genius there.
    Happy Birthday to him!


  9. Go Jules Go
    May 03, 2013 @ 12:39:57

    Happy birthday to the not so little man! You write this stuff down as it happens, right? Please tell me your memory is not that good.

    I wish every day was a lover day. “The name” killed me.


  10. thoughtsappear
    May 03, 2013 @ 13:25:47

    I’m so naming my first born “Fisafer.”


  11. the cotton floozy
    May 03, 2013 @ 14:18:14

    From now on whenever someone asks me ‘what is the difference between?’ I am going to answer, ‘the name.’ Yes. I am stealing material from a five-year-old.


  12. Andrea @ Maybe It's Just Me
    May 03, 2013 @ 21:39:27

    Happy Birthday 5!!!!!! It is very big-boyish of you to suffer the gloppy throat in the name of candy. I hoe big brother was nice to you today!


    • mistyslaws
      May 10, 2013 @ 11:09:05

      That was actually what he asked for from his brother . . . that he be nice to him. He tried his best . . . and made it up to about 8:00pm. I call that a win!!


  13. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    May 04, 2013 @ 15:00:14

    Happy birthday to now 5! It is always best to never swallow criminals.


  14. Vesta Vayne
    May 06, 2013 @ 12:56:09

    “so I don’t swallow any criminals” – yep, no one wants to do that.

    Yay! I love your convo with the kiddos posts.


  15. JM Randolph
    May 06, 2013 @ 13:15:05

    “The name.” Love that. He is very astute for a five-year-old. He knows Mickey is the boss, knows what’s inside pyramids, and knows not to swallow any criminals. This kid’s got it made. Happy Birthday!


  16. Trackback: Conversations with My EIGHT Year Old | Misty's Laws

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