Back in Whack

It’s been a long, long time.  I believe a Come Back Special is in order.  Prepare yourself for . . . the return of the Weekly Whacked!!

(And, I’m just realizing that this is actually my 200th post!  So, I guess a resurgence of the whacked is an appropriate celebratory event.  Huzzah!!).

Picture 8112

This was a few months ago on my way to work, where I got caught behind SIX snow plows blocking the entire road and all progress of traffic moving forward.  While I applaud the county’s exuberance in combatting snow on the roads, I’m thinking that six plows across 3 lanes of traffic might just be a bit too much overkill, n’est pas?

Picture 8120

Is this really what they need to resort to in advertising . . . man caves?  Oy.

Picture 8019

This was so very whacked.  I personally watched as a woman walked up to the salad bar, grabbed these two containers, started putting lettuce in one, and then mumbled to herself that it was cheaper to just get plain lettuce, threw down the tongs, and then just walked away.  Just left this mess for someone else to deal with right there.  I was so surprised that by the time I got myself together, sadly she was gone.  Lucky for her.  I might have slapped her.  Ridiculous.

Picture 8025

This one just snuck right up on me on the highway.  Imagine my shock!  Those damn fungi are sneaky little bastards.

Picture 8043

You would see a lot of this around tax time this past April, but this one is just sorta sad.  He’s not holding a sign or gesturing or anything.  He’s just walking back and forth with the help of his cane.  Give Mr. Liberty a chair at least, people!

Picture 8784

Can you say redneck?  Count the instances of references to Jeff Gordon.  Go ahead . . .

Picture 8798

This was my tire.  So I sat on the side of the highway during rush hour traffic, in sweltering 95* heat, waiting for my Brother in Law to come help me change it.  I hate being a damsel in distress.  I really need to take one of those car maintainance classes!!

Picture 8802

Pinkish/purplish type car.  It was much more vibrant in person.  In fact, I probably would have thought “Mary Kay car” if it wasn’t such a jalopy piled with an unbelievable amount of crap inside.  I think there is even a car seat buried in there somewhere.  Poor kid.

Picture 8821

Which fact is more disturbing?  The fact that a grown-ass woman is driving around with this sticker on her car, or . . . the fact that I immediately recognized those symbols as New Kids On The Block?  Crap, it’s the second one, isn’t it?  Hell.

Picture 8799

There are now pamphlets at the post office, warning people about online fraud.  Our tax dollars at work here, people.  Really, if you are dumb enough to send a Nigerian prince cash, then you deserve to lose all of your money.  Yep, I said it.

Picture 8806

Not sure if you can tell, but her backpack has these colorful foam spikes all over it.  At least, I’m hoping they are foam, because otherwise that would be pretty painful to hoist around on your back.  Although, I imagine nobody would mess with you while carrying that thing.

Picture 8624

This isn’t so much whacked as it is awesome.  I went to a wedding recently, and this guy was the DJ.  Check out the rad mustache/sideburns deal he’s got going on all up in there.  Love it.

And . . . the unexpected yet triumphant return of the Whacked is now in the books, y’all. 

((Throws down mike, making that thudding reverberation sound, and then walks off the stage))

The Whacked has left the building.  Thank you, thank you very much.  Good night!

(And that’s how we do 200).

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44 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Hippie Cahier
    May 10, 2013 @ 08:40:39

    We have a busy intersection where two denim-clad, hoodie-adorned Statues of Liberty did their thing. I wanted to take their picture, but I was shy. Then one day, Little Caesar showed up and I swear to you I thought I was going to be a material witness to what would have been an epic showdown, but alas I did not have my camera.

    Reply

  2. Andrea @ Maybe It's Just Me
    May 10, 2013 @ 08:42:39

    NKOTB? Sorry babe, that one was all you (well, at least until you pointed it out) I know where to buy the spiky backpacks and bumpy ones too, unfortunately it seems I may have to think your next birthday gift? Just wow to the snowplow scene…perhaps more dangerous than just driving in the snow! Welcome Back Whacked and happy bicentenial (or something like that)

    Reply

  3. flyingplatypi
    May 10, 2013 @ 08:53:13

    AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW IT’S DONE!!!!! PADOW BITCHES!!!

    Happy 200!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

    Reply

  4. The Cutter
    May 10, 2013 @ 08:55:31

    The Nigerian prince thing is not a scam! In fact, I’m expecting to get my money any day now…

    Reply

  5. aliceatwonderland
    May 10, 2013 @ 09:20:27

    I saw the stupid Miss Liberty guy too. Are you in Texas too? If so I’m sorry.

    Reply

  6. JM Randolph
    May 10, 2013 @ 09:26:36

    Our Miss Liberty Guys always looked vaguely embarrassed walking up and down the sidewalk. By April 10th, they weren’t waving any more. That pink car? I accidentally got that color for a manicure one time. It’s Florida Stripper Pink. Mary Kay Pink is waaaay more subtle.

    Reply

  7. The Byronic Man
    May 10, 2013 @ 09:30:42

    I think it’s a testimony to how badly we want to believe that great things are right around the corner that if someone says “You’ve won a million dollars!” or whatever, we all – on some level – think, “Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.”

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      May 22, 2013 @ 16:10:50

      I mean, why WOULDN’T I win a million dollars? I totally deserve it, right? I mean, aren’t I ENTITLED to it by just breathing and such? Seriously, if the Kardashians can be millionaires . . .

      Reply

  8. renée a. schuls-jacobson
    May 10, 2013 @ 09:36:13

    More importantly, did the guy with the lambchop sideburns play “The Wobble”? That’s wicked hot right now. You know, with all the kids. It’d be a shame if the bride and groom didn’t get to wobble is all I’m saying.

    Reply

  9. thoughtsappear
    May 10, 2013 @ 09:38:22

    Woo-hoo! I loved Whacked!

    Reply

  10. Go Jules Go
    May 10, 2013 @ 10:16:05

    First off, Happy 200th post!! Someone should get you a AAA membership for Mother’s Day.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      May 22, 2013 @ 16:13:48

      When my tire went flat, I called the hubs to ask if we had it, to which he responded, “yes.” So, I called AAA and they informed me that it was cancelled. Call back to hubs, “they say it’s cancelled.” Hubs: “that can’t be, I’m sure they’re mistaken, blah blah blah fishcakes . . .” Me: “that’s great and all, but I still have a flat tire on the side of the road. How am I gonna get this fixed? You know what . . . forget it. I’m calling your brother.” Half an hour later I was rolling.

      Reply

  11. Nelson - One Old Sage
    May 10, 2013 @ 10:26:28

    Nice to see the “whack” back and congrats on your 200th. 🙂

    Reply

  12. sarah9188
    May 10, 2013 @ 12:27:19

    But, Misty, I recently got named next of kin to some guy in Africa who crashed and had like 13.5 million dollars that they just want to give to me if I give them all my information. Clearly, this must be legit and I need to get on that cuz I need some moolah ASAP. What’s the worst that could happen?

    P.S. I’m totally not making that email up.

    Yay for the return of Weekly Whacked! I am now going to scour the internet for the spiked backpack so that others may fear me.

    Reply

  13. Don't Quote Lily
    May 10, 2013 @ 12:38:01

    Nicely done! Happy 200th post! 🙂 🙂

    Reply

  14. Mary
    May 10, 2013 @ 15:24:03

    I missed these posts! Welcome back. Mary in NY

    Reply

  15. TheOtherLisa
    May 11, 2013 @ 04:49:29

    ::wild applause::

    Reply

  16. thesinglecell
    May 11, 2013 @ 08:53:46

    I wish the Jeff Gordon worshipper didn’t also have a Philadelphia Eagles sticker on his truck. We Bird fans have enough trouble overcoming the reputation we inherited. Also: I totally recognized the NKOTB sticker. And was a little excited.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      May 22, 2013 @ 16:17:08

      Yay! I’m not alone in my dorkiness. 🙂

      I just found out that they are playing a concert at Hershey Park with Train and the Jonas Bros. called . . . wait for it . . . The Mix Tape Festival. Right?

      Reply

  17. Valentine Logar
    May 12, 2013 @ 11:03:09

    Happy to see Whacked back and on your 200th, seems right to me.

    Reply

  18. pegoleg
    May 13, 2013 @ 15:34:06

    That overly-pink car wasn’t Mary K, it’s for the top salesman at Pepto-Bismol.

    Congrats on 200 posts, and welcome back the whack attack!

    Reply

  19. Brown Road Chronicles
    May 17, 2013 @ 08:39:57

    All women should know how to change a tire. You don’t need to know engine maintenance, I SURE DON’T! But changing a tire is really a pretty simple task. Next time you have NOTHING else to do, jack up your car in the driveway and take your tire off, then put it back on. I know…. when do we having nothing else to do?!.

    Reply

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