Wanna Be Friends?

I just adore Fred & Friends.  If you are also a fan, then you know of what I speak.  And if you’ve never heard of Fred & Friends . . . well, yes you have, actually.  Even if you don’t know you know.  Ya know?

A few weeks ago, I visited my friend JM’s blog, and saw a post where she talked about her new tea buddy, Mr. Tea.  And even though I don’t drink tea, I thought he was über adorable, so I wanted to see if the company that created her Mr. Tea, had any other items that were creative and adorable like her new little friend, yet were unrelated to tea drinking. 


I pity the fool who don’t drink no tea!

So I went to the website of the company that made Mr. T, and fell in love with everything I saw there.  And while I was perusing the site, I realized that I had actually previously seen a bunch of their items and/or even owned a few.




You’ve seen all of these, right?

And then of course, I came across an item that I have coveted since this past Christmas, but had no idea who made it.  I just knew that I wanted it, and still want it.  One day, maybe.


Remember these? Um, yeah, ME TOO!

And then I found something that I had not seen before, but I thought would be just perfect as a cute gift for my secretary.  I love getting her kooky gifts just because she’s completely amazing and deserves gifts for no reason.  It’s how I do.  But then I thought, “Wait, me…..wouldn’t this also be a really great gift to give to someone else as well?”  And I thought-responded, “Why yes.  Yes it would.”  And then I stopped talking to myself, because it started making me feel as if I was going to be committed at any moment.  Gotta at least act as if I’m a normal member of society, right?

So, anyway . . . back to the item.  It’s another office supply, so some of you might not be interested, but I thought it was fun.  Then again, maybe it’s because I have two boys that pretty much can’t stop talking about all things farting and pooping and potty humor, and I’ve finally been drawn over to the dark side . . .


“The Butt”

Picture 8914

This little beauty is called The Butt Station Desk Accessory Holder.  It is a little blue man, holding a roll of tape (the cutter thing is on his toes), sitting on a toilet seat full of paper clips, whilst holding a pen in his mouth.  Behind him, there is a space for a post-it pad and more pens.  This little guy has a lot going on.  If you are like me, and are currently feeling like you are actually working in a toilet every single day at work, then this is the perfect little guy for you to subtly display your displeasure for your craptastic job.

Oh, but wait!  Besides all of the cute little functional things that this little guy represents, he also has a secret talent.  What is that, you ask?  Well, his butt is a magnet that pulls out the paper clips when you lift him off of his perch.  Yep.

Picture 8916

But wait!  There’s more . . . if you call right now, you will get this bonus gift!  In addition to this lovely little gift that I bought both for my secretary and for one of you lucky contestants, I also bought a nifty set of pens that are also created by those irreverent and goofy bastards over there at Fred & Friends.  They are called “Borrow My Pen” and have faux business names and slogans on them.  They are rad. 


And . . . there is one of these lovely pens stuck firmly in the little blue man’s mouth up there.  So, if you get this great toilet guy, you will also get one of the Borrow My Pen pens.

Picture 8918

This one.

Picture 8920

“Stuffed With Love Taxidermy
No Pet Too Small – Give Us a Call!
(ask about our goldfish and turtle discount)
fluffy4ever. com”

I know, right?  You are thinking, “how can she be this beautiful AND generous all at the same time?  It just can’t be possible!”  But it is, my friends.  It is.  It’s just a gift.

Ok, so . . . rules!  Tell me about why you need this toilet man at your crappy job.  Tell me a story about something goofy or crazy or just plain shitty that has happened at your place of work.  And although you won’t be judged on your story (as always, random out of the hat picking by my fellas), I do need to be entertained, so make ’em good.  I need something to distract me from this toilet bowl of a job I’m in! 

A lucky winner will be picked in a couple of weeks.  Good luck to all!

(In case you were wondering, my secretary absolutely adored this gift.  She liked it so much, that she walked around showing it to everyone, talking about how I know just the perfect things to get for her to represent her feelings about the job.  Yeah . . . it’s magical at my place of employ, as you can see.)


**I was not compensated in any way for this post.  All opinions are my own, as I truly do love the Fred & Friends products.  I mean, how can you not love a company that refers to itself as “a lot like Santa Claus, but without all that breaking and entering?”  Seriously.  Love them. **


43 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Go Jules Go
    May 21, 2013 @ 08:42:19

    No freaking way. You, Thoughtsy and I all published posts at the same time – she and I picked the same title, and you’re giving away the pens I just bought to give away! Ooooooh. Bloggy brain meld…. Those pens ARE amazing, and that tape dispenser? YES.

    I have a work story that I’m blogging about later this week, so I’ve gotta think of something else… hmm…

    Well, I used to work in a department that had a male admin, Al, who was -literally- 80 years old. He was a terrible, nasty person – refused to tip at restaurants, fell asleep at his desk, etc. On my cubicle, I had this beautiful, hand-drawn sign of my name that someone made me in college. One day, I saw it was gone, and in its place, a drab, gray name plate. I went to Al to ask him if he knew where my drawing was. He claimed he did not. Skip ahead 30 minutes later, and I SAW IT crumpled in his trash can. I almost cried.

    Happy ending, though: My friend Dan felt so bad, he drew me a new name sign, “J-Shizzle.” I still have it, 6 years later.


    • pegoleg
      May 22, 2013 @ 09:42:45

      This is incredibly sad!


      • mistyslaws
        May 30, 2013 @ 14:55:03

        Jules! Oh man, that Al is the worst!! Is he dead now? Because if not, I can arrange for a little accident if you want. I’m just saying, hatefulness like that needs to be taken out of this world.

        Can’t wait to read about your REAL work story. Hope it’s not quite as tragic!

        And yeah, totally same wavelength. Do you think it’s like when women all live together and get on the same cycle? All of us bloggers are on the same giveaway cycle or something . . .


  2. Cheryl S.
    May 21, 2013 @ 09:29:46

    I LOVE That. I’m totally checking out that website for gifts!

    Why do I need this man? Well, I work in a law office (that should be enough right there). Our office handles attorney discipline. I have to read some of the most ridiculous complaints against attorneys, ever. I’ve been here 18 years. This is my favorite complaint of ALL.TIME. (This is paraphrased, but I swear on my daughter’s life it’s absolutely true)

    Dear [lawyer dominatrix’s]

    I am currently incarcerated. I ended up here because my lawyer was bad. (Of course, not because you’re GUILTY. Oh no.) During my trial my attorney kept saying that I stabbed my girlfriend. I take issue with this. He should have said that I “inflicted flesh wounds” because when the knife went in I didn’t pierce any internal organs. Please discipline him to the fullest extent of the law.

    Sure, killer. We’ll get right on that. . . .


    • donofalltrades
      May 21, 2013 @ 09:47:00

      As somebody who frequently has to read letters written by prisoners, I declare that this person should be the automatic winner.


      • mistyslaws
        May 30, 2013 @ 15:01:49

        Having read my fair share of prisoner letters, I agree. Sadly, it is out of my hands, as my boys have all the power here.

        Cheryl – I really hope the Judge punished that lawyer to the fullest extent of the law!! Stabbing v. inflicting flesh wounds is indeed a distinction that should have been made. I mean, just think if the lawyer had PHRASED the killing differently, that Defendant might just NOT have been guilty of MURDER. For shame, lawyer. For shame.


  3. Jen
    May 21, 2013 @ 09:46:49

    I want presents. Lots and lots of swag to add to my already highly inappropriate office decor. Sadly, I have no sob story as I have the raddest job with the most kick-ass coworkers EVER! Sorry…feel free to hate me…


  4. Don't Quote Lily
    May 21, 2013 @ 09:50:47

    Nice! I actually had one and thought it was the coolest thing ever. Except you can’t pull the tape without holding onto him. But still awesome and cute in a very strange way. 😀


  5. bluzdude
    May 21, 2013 @ 09:54:11

    Love the cookie cutters! Now you can make Gninga Snaps!

    As for a work story…

    Many years ago, my old department held a big off-site pow-wow to talk up the new Re-org they were planning. When they asked for some open and honest dialogue about their plans, one of my colleagues stood up and expressed some serious reservations… to which our department VP said that anyone that didn’t buy into their vision was welcome to stop by his office any time, for help with brushing up their resume.

    Needless to say, that put an end to the open and honest dialogue.


  6. JM Randolph
    May 21, 2013 @ 10:33:30

    Ninjasnap Men! Please tell me you got those for you! Those are the best. I also love those little pacifiers and didn’t know Fred made them til I was on their website. I have a really great job too, so I can’t complain. But many years ago, while working on a regional production of August Wilson’s Seven Guitars, we had a cast that hated each other so much there were once punches thrown during the curtain call. It’s a three and a half hour drama with no technical tricks. The only thing crew-wise that had to happen was at intermission a crew guy had to bury the money in the garden. Then the climax of the play happened when one guy caught the other digging it up and then killed him.

    Bear with me now. Around this time, the theater changed their ranking from Lort C to Lort B which meant they needed another Equity stage manager. Rather than help the current assistant get her card, they just brought another guy in who had one and put him on the crew. He became the money-burier. And one night, he forgot to bury the money. So the actor is digging, and digging. The other actor comes out to catch him in the act. Guy keeps digging. Because they hated each other so much, they didn’t just act their way out of the fact that there was no money in the garden. They didn’t just pretend. Finally the guy who was supposed to kill the other guy just said “I know what you did!” and left the stage. Left the guy who was supposed to be dead just hanging there, digging in the garden. So after three and a half f-ing hours, the entire play ended up making absolutely no sense whatsoever.

    Oh, and August Wilson was in the house that night.


    • mistyslaws
      May 30, 2013 @ 15:08:45

      First, NO, I still do not have those freaking cookie cutters. Grumblegrumblegrumble.

      Second, holy cow that is some bad timing, eh? The author in the audience and the play getting all jacked up because of one missing prop (and the actors’ unwillingness to play along as well, obviously). Great story!


  7. Jamster
    May 21, 2013 @ 10:33:56

    Love that little guy! He would bring a laugh to my co-workers on days when patrons aren’t quite the sharpest crayons in the box. I work in a library and some of the best complaints are the ones that you step back from later and have to say, “Really?”
    Like the patrons that come in with a pile of books to return, and ask where do I return these? We have a sign on the counter that says “return materials here” along with a box taped on the counter, and we even made an arrow that went from the end of the counter to the box, thinking that would get people to stop asking. I kid you not, they still ask.. and we try so hard not to say, “in the box on the counter, right next to the sign that says Return materials here”


    • mistyslaws
      May 30, 2013 @ 15:10:03

      I think you need an ADDITIONAL sign that you will hold up when asked, that has an arrow on it pointing to the other arrow and that says “return materials over there.”


  8. Tabitha Crow
    May 21, 2013 @ 10:48:24

    Ok. So I am *just* a temp at my job. I have been here almost a year. My first day on the job, my supervisor took me to the corner desk (and I use that term loosely) and said it was temporary and they would get me better accomodations soon. That was almost a year ago. My “desk” is about 4 feet long and maybe a foot and a half wide. No drawers, nothing fancy, I had to put my monitor up on top of the hard drive just to have enough space for a pen cup, paperclip holder, stapler, tape dispenser and post-it pads. Oh, and did I mention I *may* have a slight office supply addiction?


  9. brickhousechick
    May 21, 2013 @ 10:49:26

    What a great little man! Anything named, Butt is sure to be a winner! And, a Butt with a magnet attached to it….hmmm..the possibilities are endless! 🙂


  10. The Byronic Man
    May 21, 2013 @ 10:49:48

    As the winner who won the prize that was up for winning by a winner last time, I’ll remove myself from the possibility of winning again (because I already won).

    I love the pens, though. I may have to order some.

    All my crappy work stories right now involve students who are failing, and then I get approached by the counselors, asking what I’m going to do to get them to passing. Um, well, I’m going to ask the students what they’re going to do. That’s what I’m going to do.


    • mistyslaws
      May 30, 2013 @ 15:25:37

      Yeah, I’m thinking something like, “make them study more” would be an appropriate response.

      And since you are the winningest winner of all things winned, I will not enter you for yet another creepily naked office supply man. You’re welcome.


  11. Andrea @ Maybe It's Just Me
    May 21, 2013 @ 11:39:08

    So much awesome! I am still waiting for five below to call me to say your cookie cutters are in!


  12. Jess Witkins
    May 21, 2013 @ 12:48:14

    Hmm, I may be disqualified from your contest as I recently quit my hell hole of a job! I am now unemployed. Holla for a dolla!

    Why did I quit, you ask? Because my time-suck of a job last 60+ hours/week and involved a boss who managed by post it notes on my desk chair, but would get mad if I was in my office reading them. ??? I also managed the largest team, about double any other manager, and was by and far the best coach and always had my paperwork done on time, if not early, and yet only received criticism from that boss because it was her first job as a Store Manager and she wanted to prove herself at my expense. I guess making me look like a moron to the Regional Head Honchos, was the same as an exotic handheld toy, because she CERTAINLY seemed to get off on it. 🙂

    Miss me?


    • mistyslaws
      May 30, 2013 @ 15:31:02

      Well, since you are now unemployed, I officially hate you. But then again, it sounds like you really needed to leave that place.

      Please tell me you bought your former boss a dildo and gave it to her as a going away present. With the note: “Since you won’t be able to get off on making my life a living hell any more, I figured you might need THIS.”


  13. sarah9188
    May 21, 2013 @ 12:49:37

    Well, I’m going to be interviewing for a new job working in a law office as a temp worker, and you know that this would make a perfect first impression as I set it up at the desk at a new job – if I get it. *fingers crossed* I don’t currently have a job, but at my last job, I could have probably made a few people laugh with such an amazing thing since many of them were angry or about in tears when they came to see us with the whole filing bankruptcy process.

    But if I don’t win this giveaway, I’m going to that website and finding something useless but awesome to get for my desk – either here or at the job I hope to eventually get. Because seriously, the awesomeness you displayed in this post is just too good to pass up.


    • mistyslaws
      May 30, 2013 @ 15:32:28

      I know, that site is so rad, no? The picking of names extravaganza will occur tonight, so you will know by tomorrow if you won or need to go order some stuff from the site. I think any job would appreciate this fine specimen of man, don’t you? 😉


  14. donofalltrades
    May 21, 2013 @ 13:22:48

    Hmmmm, there are so many that I don’t know what to share. Some of the funniest ones as a police officer may be illegal so I can’t share those, but all the attorney related ones basically involve me imagining choking the fuck out of opposing counsel or their dipshitted clients and are semi boring. I’ll return later.


    • mistyslaws
      May 30, 2013 @ 15:33:46

      I fantasized about choking the shit out of opposing counsel just this week, so they aren’t boring to me at all.

      Tick tock, Don. Picking a name tonight. Come on back if you want to enter! Dredge up a good story . . . illegal or not.


  15. Valerie
    May 21, 2013 @ 18:11:03

    I need this man so that when I look at him, I’ll remember that there are shittier jobs than mine out there.

    Also, I will put fake poo in his toilet bowl, and giggle.




  16. kidfreeliving
    May 22, 2013 @ 05:48:45

    I LOVE the ninja bread men. LOVE LOVE LOVE. I don’t want toilet man,so take me out of the running but the tea dude an the ninjas *swoon* I don’t even bake. Crap. Now I wish I had kids. NINJA MEN HAVE BROKEN ME.

    I suppose that line has been said before.


    • mistyslaws
      May 30, 2013 @ 15:36:00

      Seriously, those ninja men are the shizz. Can you believe that I STILL don’t own them?? What is wrong with my life?

      And I don’t bake, either, but I NEED them. They are my precious. We wants it, we NEEEEDDDDSSS it.


  17. pegoleg
    May 22, 2013 @ 10:23:00

    I LOVE that stuff. I’d get the toilet man for my staff, but it’s my business so, mmm, yeah. I don’t really want to imply this is a crappy place to work.


    • mistyslaws
      May 30, 2013 @ 15:37:09

      Yes, but everyone likes a boss that can have a sense of humor about their job and or place of employ!! Want to share a story? So I can enter you?

      That sounded wrong. Meh . . .


  18. bschooled
    May 22, 2013 @ 10:40:26

    Okay, so first of all, I don’t drink tea either! (I know that has nothing to do with the post, but I’ve never actually known anyone else who doesn’t drink tea.)

    Second, I was here earlier, ogling all of these awesome gifts. (WHY DIDN’T WE COME UP WITH THAT PEN IDEA??) But because technically I work from home at a job I don’t have (long story!) I figured I was disqualified.

    Third, if old jobs count, after receiving a cryptic voice message from my Gyno at work, I was convinced the test results from my colposcopy were positive. Naturally, instead of calling back to confirm this, I ran into my conservative 70 year-old Engineer boss’s office and started bawling.

    Not only did I tell him I was terminal, I also explained the entire PAP process in detail. Like vivid detail. Even though I could see horror in his eyes, I couldn’t stop. When I got to the part where they put my legs in stirrups, he actually started shaking. And that’s when I knew I should probably go home.


    • mistyslaws
      May 30, 2013 @ 15:38:50

      You are still qualified even working from home at a job you don’t have. ??????

      Um, please tell me that the results were negative. Because I don’t think I can laugh at this, unless I know that.

      That poor man.


  19. joeinvegas
    May 22, 2013 @ 15:23:44

    Don’t want the gift, but thanks for the pointer, I think I will go get the tea man.


  20. thoughtsappear
    May 22, 2013 @ 20:27:50

    Retro Metro has those Ninja cookie cutters!


  21. Trackback: Who Wants to Touch The Butt? | Misty's Laws

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