Get Your Balls Out of My Face!

My life is currently consumed by balls.



My 7 year old son is obsessed with all things baseball.  So, when his absent-minded mom missed the deadline for flag football sign-ups in the fall, we fell back on the sport that he has been wanting to play for a while now and that we had planned to sign him up for this spring.  Baseball.

The fall baseball was a deceptive tease of what was to come in the spring.  One practice and one game a week.  No biggie, right?  I mean, the coach was a little overzealous and all (scheduling a parent v. child scrimmage on a weeknight when I had just come from court and expecting me to play . . . in heels.  Um, no), but it was fine.

Then came the spring.  And we moved up to two games a week with one practice.  That’s a lot, and even necessitated the hubs to move around his normal Monday/Tuesday travelling schedule, but we’ve made it work.

But then . . . oh ho then.  His coach suggested that he might just be good enough to try out for a travel league for the fall, consisting of 7 year olds that were good enough to play against 8 year olds.  I was against this.  First, it is expensive.  Second, it is called a travel league, which means that we would be driving all over creation for these damn things.  Third, it was time to sign my youngest up for some type of actual sport, adding to the sports obligation schedule.  And fourth, 7 wanted to do football in the fall.

But my husband convinced me that he would take the brunt of the travelling part and my son decided that he would rather play baseball after all, so I conceded.  And he tried out.  And only after the try-outs did I get an email from his coach which explained that he was actually trying out for a 6 week summer scrimmage schedule with 3 game tournaments during the weekends and multiple practices during the week.  And then the travel team during the fall.

Wait . . . what now?

Click photo for source.

Based on this current turn of escalated events, I can only imagine the list of requirements that will be outlined by his coach in future emails:

– Must wear full uniform at all times, including to bed, so that the baseball experience will seep into your pores, absorbing knowledge by osmosis (this includes glove, batting helmet and cup).

– Must legally change name to either Cal, Brooks or Boog.  Can keep current last name . . . for now.

– May only speak in baseball language.  i.e. “hey batter batter” and hand gestures depicting a runner’s ability to steal a base.

– Renounce all of your possessions except for those relating to baseball.

– Daily morning and evening prayer rituals with your head always facing in the direction of Cooperstown.

– A diet consisting only of hot dogs, peanuts and crackerjacks.

– Weekly pilgrimage to Camden Yards at Oriole Park to bask in the aura of the baseball stadium.

– 25-30 practice pitches into a bucket every night.  (This one’s real, sadly).


Not to mention a holiday weekend that had no games scheduled, initially, so that everyone could enjoy a weekend off . . . from work, from kid’s sports, from running around.  But no, we can’t have that.  Not when there is baseball to be played!  So instead, we got a game at 8:30 am Saturday (and had to be at the field for pre-game practice by 7:45!), and a practice scheduled for Memorial Day.  That’s right, while everyone else is traditionally grilling and celebrating their day off (and honoring those who protect and serve), we get to go play baseball.  Some more.  Again.  Ad infinitum.


Click photo for source.

This entire thing is going to drive me completely and totally batty.


Anything taking over your entire life? 


55 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jen
    May 28, 2013 @ 08:48:32

    Taking over my life? Other than the lunatic on Facebook who has already decided that we’re happily married with 2 kids, a minivan, and Red Wings season tickets…nope…I’m good.


  2. She's a Maineiac
    May 28, 2013 @ 09:08:55

    Oh, we went down the baseball road before. After two years of it, my son decided he was bored in the outfield and (thankfully) he stuck with only soccer. Soccer is great for a few reasons: it’s nicer weather (cooler), shorter season AND less equipment/uniform to waste money on.

    He played basketball for 2 years as well and that season? It seemed to go on for an eternity. Thankfully he’s gone from 3 sports to just soccer and this year possibly track (OH GOD! talk about traveling for meets)

    With my daughter it was dance class. She took tap/ballet and between the money spent on costumes and the nonstop practices, she decided to do something different this year….cheering. Methinks I’m in trouble now.

    Is it wrong that when any sport season ends I do a secret cheer of my own?


    • mistyslaws
      Jun 07, 2013 @ 15:13:00

      It is NOT wrong. In fact, I would think there was something wrong with you if you DIDN’T cheer. I’m waiting for that end . . . it’s gonna be a long wait. Oy.


  3. bluzdude
    May 28, 2013 @ 09:10:34

    When I was a Little Leaguer, I never did any of that “Chatter.” I hated it. I figured, “If they don’t do it in the majors, it must not work. So I’m not going to stand out here yammering my fool head off.”


  4. The Cutter
    May 28, 2013 @ 09:30:47

    Feels like youth sports have gotten much more time intensive than they were when I was younger. We’d typically have one game on a weekend and one during the week. Maybe a practice at some point once the season began.

    These days, it seems like these teams have activities five days a week!


    • mistyslaws
      Jun 07, 2013 @ 15:15:12

      I kid you not, our upcoming schedule is: practice tonight (Friday), game tomorrow morning (Saturday), practice Sunday night AND Monday night, scrimmage on Tuesday. This may kill me . . .


  5. hiddinsight
    May 28, 2013 @ 09:42:06

    He isn’t telling you this (of course), but if it wasn’t baseball, he wanted to take clowning lessons. And you don’t even want to know how much those red noses cost…


  6. donofalltrades
    May 28, 2013 @ 09:52:41

    Sounds like coach is dissatisfied with his family life at home. Geez, that’s a lot for a 7 year old. Too much. Those kids are gonna burn out on baseball.


  7. Don't Quote Lily
    May 28, 2013 @ 10:10:10

    That’s it, definitely not having kids. Can’t handle that kind of schedule!


  8. rachelocal
    May 28, 2013 @ 10:40:48

    My friend is doing the SAME thing, Misty, so I sort of feel your pain. She also has two daughters who play soccer on separate teams and also take guitar and piano lessons in different towns. She’s in the car ALL THE TIME.

    Add to that the baseball schedule and I would lose my mind.

    Your “must eat only hot dogs, peanuts and cracker jacks” made me LOL. So at least you’ve got some great jokes out of this, right?


    • mistyslaws
      Jun 07, 2013 @ 15:24:23

      Oh yes, I’m finding so much humor in this, Rache, you just wouldn’t believe.

      I feel for your friend. Give her a solidarity sister fist bump the next time you see her for me, would ya?


  9. Jess Witkins
    May 28, 2013 @ 10:49:11

    Oooh. Too bad you don’t live in my town. We’re on the same block as a baseball field, so your son could walk to practice and you and I could have cocktail practice and watch movies from the 90s. 😀


  10. pegoleg
    May 28, 2013 @ 10:55:52

    They tried to talk us into that traveling team nonsense when our daughter was playing softball, but we said no. It becomes your whole, time-and-money-sucking life. The problem was, everybody who was any good went for it so by the time she got to high school there wasn’t anybody left to play in Little League.


    • mistyslaws
      Jun 07, 2013 @ 15:26:14

      I said no!! Sigh. But yeah, that was the fear, that everyone good would move on and he’d be bored from playing with all the star gazers next year. Did I mention Sigh?


  11. toni596
    May 28, 2013 @ 11:19:28

    This reminded me of my daughter’s 7 years in competitive cheerleading. NO holidays except for 2 weeks at Xmas and 2 weeks in the summer (well, when the school schedule changed, we only had ONE week free.) And you HAD to be at practice, no excuses! One kid showed up with chicken pox! Then, of course, she had tumbling, flying, jumping, and dance lessons besides the cheer practices.I have never added up the money we spent as I am afraid I would put a gun in my mouth if I knew the total. And we not only lived in our car, we lived on fast food. I was ecstatic when my daughter wanted to quit!


    • mistyslaws
      Jun 07, 2013 @ 15:27:36

      My kids have had so many Subway sandwiches at this point, they are the new spokespeople instead of that Jarred character. This is what my life has become now.


  12. Go Jules Go
    May 28, 2013 @ 11:23:13

    OH have mercy. The only thing I like doing enough to sign up for this level of commitment is drink. And for some reason those leagues don’t encourage traveling.

    If you build it, they will come. And by they I mean you. To every game. Even on holidays.


  13. renée a. schuls-jacobson
    May 28, 2013 @ 13:24:58

    You realize this is why my child started fencing, right?


  14. PinotNinja
    May 28, 2013 @ 17:11:07

    The only silver lining I can come up with is that all of this supporting definitely entitles you to consume a large amount of popcorn and candy from the concession stand at all of these tournaments. And, let’s be honest, some of us (me) would do things that are a lot worse in exchange for a guilt-free Kit Kat.


  15. brickhousechick
    May 28, 2013 @ 20:09:39

    Oh Misty, I feel your pain. And…it begins! I married into a baseball family consisting of 6 boys and their father who is the town’s baseball commissioner. We pooped balls around here! 🙂 The worst were the Mother’s Day games. And, if we happened to have an unscheduled day (a freebie), the coaches would go crazy and sign our team up for additional tournaments far away! AY! A free day apparently was a wasted day that had to be filled with baseball. On the upside, it is exciting watching your child improve, learn to spit, scratch down there often as he accommodates his, too big for him cup, and chew wads of gum! hee,hee


    • mistyslaws
      Jun 07, 2013 @ 15:31:33

      Oh! Then you know. You know. I think this coach may think he’s some sort of baseball guru. It is non-stop baseball all the time up in my grill. I can’t wait until my son’s spitting skills improve. :-/


  16. Kitten Thunder's Girl
    May 28, 2013 @ 23:15:05

    My nephew plays hockey and my brother is the coach, which means my sister and niece have also given their lives up to hockey. Lucky they like it.

    Me? I’m hoping my geek genes and The Boy’s nerd genes combine to make the perfect chess player.


    • mistyslaws
      Jun 07, 2013 @ 15:32:24

      Chess is a valid goal. But there will probably be some recessive gene and he’ll be a tall muscular football player or something. Just to spite you.


  17. bschooled
    May 29, 2013 @ 00:56:04

    I can totally relate to this post.
    I mean, not to the part about putting your son in baseball or attending your child’s sporting events or even just having kids period. But besides that…

    Ok, maybe I can only relate to the title of this post.


    • mistyslaws
      Jun 07, 2013 @ 15:33:16

      I knew you would. At least somebody relates to that part! I was starting to think that people only thought I was talking about little league or something. Jeesh!


  18. Vesta Vayne
    May 29, 2013 @ 08:22:04

    A family friend was just lamenting over the same thing this weekend, she has a seven year old also. Too many games/practices, plus, there are so many kids in the league, they have to stagger the games. So they aren’t getting home on weeknights until 10pm (and she has a 4-yr-old, 10 is waaaaay past his bedtime).


    • mistyslaws
      Jun 07, 2013 @ 15:34:11

      Exactly. My 5 year old is seeing some 10:00 bedtimes as well. The other night they were eating dinner after 9:00 because they didn’t get a chance at the game. Sigh.


  19. flyingplatypi
    May 29, 2013 @ 21:06:19

    I have never been more thankful for having girls. Not ever… That is, until they start with Pms. Then not so much.




  20. Nelson - One Old Sage
    May 30, 2013 @ 10:50:18

    If you can handle this, you can probably handle anything. 🙂


  21. Jennifer June Clark
    May 30, 2013 @ 17:00:45

    Swimming. Practice Monday through Friday. Year round. Meets that last all-freaking day! Became a major source of stress and we stopped.

    I refuse to subject my children to the insane, over-scheduled, “multitasking American lifestyle. How will they watch butterflies and climb trees and eat strawberries fresh out of the garden if they are all the time being schlepped to some practice or program?!


    • mistyslaws
      Jun 07, 2013 @ 15:37:17

      Oh yeah, I’ve heard that swimming is really rough. But if I deny my son the chance to play sports as a child, it’s almost tantamount to child abuse, right? Good for you for bucking the tide. You’re my hero.


  22. thoughtsappear
    May 30, 2013 @ 20:18:08

    I hate baseball. Those games are the longest.


  23. Lisa
    May 30, 2013 @ 23:37:07

    I get caught up in other’s problems. I’d be ready to get the kids a Wii baseball game and tell ’em “hey make the league!”


  24. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    Jun 01, 2013 @ 10:34:44

    Yes, dog rescue. It took over my whole life. So much so I’m afraid to even stick my toe back in the water now that I’m completely out.

    At least baseball is safer than football?


  25. Nagzilla
    Jun 03, 2013 @ 11:12:10

    You have my sympathies. We just went through this with dance (and yes, now that the year is over there WILL be a scathing blog post about THAT experience) and technically Andrea wasn’t even in competition yet. Blarg. And yours is younger than mine, which makes it even worse. Hang in there. Pissed off parents, unite!


  26. about100percent
    Jun 03, 2013 @ 14:06:11

    No matter what limits you try to enforce, or whether you have boys or girls, kids’ activities will threaten to take over every single second of parents’ lives. It’s the state of our union these days. Constant vigilance is key, and to avoid insanity, schedules should be managed daily.

    I’ve heard it all ends amazingly when they go off to college, but for now I don’t believe it.


    • mistyslaws
      Jun 07, 2013 @ 15:41:25

      College seems like a rainbow sprinkled unicorn’s mane right now. Far off and possibly imaginary. I might have travelled past insanity already. I think it’s too late for me. Save yourself . . .


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