When we last left our intrepid heroes . . . my good friend Valerie had descended upon the great state of Maryland, to share her awesomeness with this part of the mid-Atlantic. I spoke of our initial trip to the mannequin store, and of our evening out with her friends at the brew pub. Much shenanigans were detailed. (If you haven’t read the first part of this tale, go back now and start your journey at the beginning).
What I have yet to explain, and the purpose of this post, is the intervening time bookended by those two activities above. Directly following our mannequin store visit, we drove straight out to Frederick, MD, home of the Flying Dog Brewery. In planning the weekend for Val, I looked around at different events and activities around the area, and saw that the brewery held tours of their facility. Seeing that the tours also included beer tastings, and being a good friend and a good host (because that’s what friends do . . . get their friends nice and inebriated on their vacations!), I figured this would be a fun event. I was lucky enough to get a reservation for the two of us (this was before I knew that she was bringing friends), so off to Frederick we went for an afternoon of education and beer drinking. Huzzah!!
Before we even entered the building, we were excited about the experience. I mean, how much do you want a sign at your job that reserves your Alpha Bitch parking space? Yeah, me too.
We arrived early enough that we were able to take a look around. The first thing we saw was a huge chalkboard that listed all of the beers they had to offer. Val was suitably impressed . . .
Although, they did tell us that no beer drinking was allowed before the tour, so we were just going to have to wait. But that’s ok, because our tour was about to start, and that is when we got to meet our tour guide extraordinaire . . . Emily!
Emily was so incredibly rad. Seriously, she was informative, had a great sense of humor, and really knew her beer. Plus . . . she gave us beer. So, you know, that might have something to do with how hard Val and I fell in love with this lovely lady. We miss you, Emily!!
Emily told us the story of the founder of the brewery, George Stranahan, who named it Flying Dog after viewing a painting in a tiny bar in Pakistan. Having just finished a long trek up the second highest mountain in the world, he gazed upon a picture of a dog with wings and felt that it was a kindred spirit, representing how he felt about the monumental journey he and his companions had just taken. I’m sure it also had nothing to do with the fact that he was imbibing some local spirits in that bar at the time.
Once we knew some of the history of the brewery, it was time for the tour. We were ushered around to the different areas within the building, viewing all of the various steps that a beer must travel through before it becomes frothy goodness ready to get in my belly. As you might imagine, Val and I got up to some jackassery whilst the tour was going on.
We were like the bad kids in the back of the class that just fool around and pass notes, so that the teacher has to eventually separate them. Sorry Ms. Emily!! We’ll be good.
We did pay attention for the most part, since despite all of the fun distractions, it was a very interesting and informative tour. Not to mention seeming like one of the coolest places to work ever. And I am not just saying that in an “I want to work there so I can drink BEER all day” frat boy Neanderthal way, either. It just has a great vibe about it and would appear to not take itself too seriously. For example . . .
I could fall in love with a place like that! A far cry from my own personal hell, aka my current job. We don’t have any zombie mannequin torsos around here to hold all of our medals. Hell, we don’t have any medals, for that matter!
Once the official tour was finished, that is when the real fun started . . . the tasting. We were each given a wristband with 5 little tabs on it (indicating 5 tastings, duh), and that was in addition to the beer poured by Emily on the tour. (I mentioned we love her, right? Just wanna make sure we covered that . . .).
Ok, so I guess you are wondering how the beer tasted, hmmm? Well, it was FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC, of course!! I mean, yeah it was pretty good, I guess. Actually, we really did enjoy our beer tasting, but what we enjoyed more at this point, was a little bit more Emily . . . (you didn’t think we were done with her yet, did you?). We even got a picture of the three of us together . . .
Not only that, but there was this amazingly gorgeous metal throne in the lobby area that was all red velvet roped and off-limits. We asked her about it, telling her that we thought is was super cool, and she not only whipped out her laptop to show us the video they just made featuring that there chair (seriously, watch that video . . . it is awesomesauce!), but she even allowed us to sit in it!! Did I tell you she was the raddest, or what?
After we watched the video for Raging Bitch (kindred spirits, that), Emily went on to show us the other most recent video for Snake Dog Ale, which was similarly awesome. So, you see, she wasn’t just a tour guide, beer server and employee of Flying Dog . . . she was like our own personal Julie McCoy! So, we decided to profess our love in the only way we could . . . creepy love notes. This was mine, of the more subtle approach:
This was the Flying Dog provided survey form that I filled out after the tour. I handed it to Emily, and told her that I would like this to be considered as my application for employment. Val was a bit less subtle in her profession of love for our dear Emily. First, she whipped out her handy dandy notebook that some kind blogger sent to her, along with some other shit, in a past giveaway (said blogger also likes to gift people with tiny bottles of booze . . . said blogger is awesome).
And then this happened . . .
We put this on top of Emily’s laptop as we left. We had wanted to give her a great big hug and to say thanks for the great time before we left. However, when it was time for us to depart, we were told that she had gone “upstairs” to the “offices.” We’re pretty sure this was code for going to the local constabulary to file a restraining order against us. So now, we are probably limited to viewing our Emily from afar . . . like from about 50 feet away. Either that, or she was so creeped out by us that she was filing for a name change and running away to Utah, to start a new and secret life, hidden from the crazy girl bloggers who she assumed wanted to wear her head as a hat. (We love your hair, Emily, but we would never do something quite so creepy. Stalkerish notes are where we draw the line!).
So class, what have we learned from this (incredibly long) tale? Well, three simple lessons:
1. Emily is awesome.
2. Flying Dog beer is delicious.
3. Val and I should not be allowed out in civilized society.
Class dismissed! Let’s go get some beer . . . the first round is on me.