The Neverending Nothingness

BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.

Emptiness.  Whiteness.  Nothing.

BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.

Staring at the blank screen, watching the cursor appear and then disappear in perpetuity.  Waiting.  Watching.  Mocking.

BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.

My mind is as vacant as that blindingly white and empty screen in front of me.  There are no thoughts swirling around in preparation to travel down to my finger tips onto a keyboard that will transform them into pure brilliant prose on that computer monitor.  Nothing to kick-start the ole noggin into action.  Just . . . nothing.

BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.

The many attempts to create some nugget of an idea that would then transform itself into a topic have as of yet been unsuccessful.  I remain staring at an abyss of nothingness, sucking me in to its realm of glaringly bright white absence.  Caring not of my suffering and desperate attempts to fill it with stark black symbols representing a coherent thought.

BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.

What may truly only be moments staring at the screen, feels like a vast eternity living in the wastelands of an inability to create.  Purgatory in a hell that only a certain breed of person can experience.  A self-inflicted pain only thrust upon those who attempt to create words as their vocation or recreation.  For only those tragic few have felt the terror and horror of a mind without thought or concept, and experienced the endless struggle to extract something from pure nothingness.

BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.

The emptiness of the screen is a perfect mirror reflecting the dearth of ideas within my head.  A vast desert of tiny bits of useless particles of thought, swirling in the winds of struggle, and baking in the exploding starlike pressure of forced thoughts.  As dry and barren as a summer afternoon in the Sahara.

BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.

And then . . . a glimmer.  A single molecule of hope.  Could it be . . . an idea?  I hold on tight, trying to contain but not smother this precious gem of a thought, hopeful that I can fan the slight embers into flames of sentences and paragraphs.  But how to shape it?  How best to transform this crumb of a possibility into a hearty stew upon which the mind and soul can feast?  What is the best way to create a masterpiece out of this one lone insubstantial speck of dust floating through my cranium?

BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.

There is no answer.  And then, the thought begins to float away.  So, I grasp onto it with all my might and do the only thing that I am able to do.  The only thing anyone can ever do when caught in a maelstrom of nothingness . . .

BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.BLINK.

Write.  Just write.

————————————————————————————————————————

challenge120

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64 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. andrea-maybe it's just me
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 13:25:18

    I LOVE IT! The personification was fantastic and the way you made it so incredibly dark, when really we are talking about writer’s block. And then you added that only certain people know it.
    The imagery (yes, I think that is the word I am looking for) was really moving as you discussed not being able to find words, yet stumbled upon so many incredible ones!

    Reply

  2. PigLove
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 13:32:44

    I felt every emotion there. I myself have had those bleeping moments. Really, I have. It’s hard for a pig to come up with ideas at times. XOXO – Bacon

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Aug 01, 2013 @ 15:42:06

      I can imagine it would be even harder to type with those hooves! 😉

      Reply

      • PigLove
        Aug 01, 2013 @ 15:46:30

        Oh it is. I’ve gotten kind of used to it now. I can probably do about 25 hpm (hooves per minute) on a good day. Sometimes it takes me longer if Bashful won’t leave me alone. You know how these kids are – PLOL (Pig Laughing Out Loud). XOXO – Bacon

        Reply

  3. s1ngal
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 13:38:24

    Been there, done that OR RATHER am there, doing that 😉 I feel you!! 😀

    Reply

  4. pegoleg
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 13:57:48

    Oh, what you can do with a whole lot of nothing, Misty!

    We’ve all faced that hill before, and been unable to climb it. Don’t worry – your brain will fill up again in no time!

    Reply

  5. heila2013
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 14:16:53

    Great!

    Reply

  6. Is Everyone an Idiot but Me?
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 14:47:44

    Been there, so frustrating! I usually give up long before you did, so props for hanging in there!

    Reply

  7. Hippie Cahier
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 14:53:00

    A writer’s meditation.

    Reply

  8. cynkingfeeling
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 14:57:42

    Oh, this made me think of Nikkiana’s post and wonder if a blank piece of paper with pen in hand is less intimidating than a blinking cursor. That “blink blink” is just so demanding.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Aug 01, 2013 @ 15:48:21

      My hand gets very crampy when I try to write for any period of time. Typing works better. However, without a spark of an idea, there’s nothing to write anyway. But yes, the blink blink is evil.

      Reply

  9. sarah9188
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 15:12:02

    When in doubt, use the word maelstrom and your post will be a success. I seem to be climbing my way out of some serious writer’s block just this past week so I have faith that you will be able to beat it as well. If it helps, whenever I see someone poorly dressed, I try to grab my cell phone camera because “Misty would love this!”

    I hate that feeling of writer’s block; it makes me wonder, “Why in the world did I ever call myself a writer?” and want to throw the computer across the room. And you managed to turn that awfulness into a blog post; I think that means inspiration is close at hand, perhaps even in the form of neon pink and yellow jeggings. You never know. 🙂

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Aug 01, 2013 @ 15:53:21

      If you have a documented picture of neon pink and yellow jeggings, you know that it is your obligation to send that on over to me. Do your duty!!

      I hope that this is the start of getting back into it. It’s been a while since I’ve felt any spark of creativity or even desire to write. But, it’s good to know that the liberal use of the word maelstrom will save me! 😉

      Reply

      • sarah9188
        Aug 01, 2013 @ 20:44:59

        I know. I saw floral jeggings once in the grocery store parking lot. I hope you forgive me for not snapping while driving. She was gone before I could get out. I was so ready for her though.

        Writer’s block sucks, but we all love you either way. For me, my patrons peeing on our sofa practically writes a blog post for me.

        Reply

        • mistyslaws
          Aug 13, 2013 @ 14:56:59

          Nope. Not forgiven. I will accept nothing less than putting your own personal safety at risk for MY benefit. 😉

          Who knew that librarianism would be so rife with blogging opportunities!

          Reply

          • sarah9188
            Aug 13, 2013 @ 16:27:28

            Oh you don’t know the half of it. People are crazy. Today I helped a drag queen who smelled so strongly of BO, it burned my throat. I should win an Oscar for my performance.

            Reply

  10. The Cotton Floozy
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 16:05:48

    This is deep, man.

    Reply

  11. icescreammama
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 16:09:04

    so frustrating, but blink again, and you might just have an idea. it happens like that.

    Reply

  12. brickhousechick
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 17:20:08

    “How best to transform this crumb of a possibility into a hearty stew upon which the mind and soul can feast?” Just think about the Stone Soup story! You don’t even need the crumb, just some good ‘ol stones to make a delicious hearty stew! 🙂

    Reply

  13. Kitten Thunder's Girl
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 18:20:53

    Awesome blog. I’ve totally been there.

    My advertising professor used to make us go directly to the typewriters (yes, I am THAT old…or our lab sucked THAT much…) after we got our briefs and start typing. Even if we didn’t have an idea. He said that our fingers going through the motions of writing would make our brains realize it was time to put some creativity down on paper. It generally worked.

    And when it doesn’t work? Consider this your get out of jail free card: http://www.unmarketing.com/2010/04/09/frequently-futile-how-often-should-you-blog/

    Reply

  14. PinotNinja
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 19:15:33

    That cursor is such a salty bitch!

    Reply

  15. mamarific
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 21:26:07

    Apparently, if you go to Walmart or the Dollar Store, you will find inspiration!! I am going to try this soon.

    Reply

  16. Valerie
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 21:45:24

    Holy crap…. I hear you… I hear you loud and clear. The nothingness is eating me. And not in a good way.

    Hugs!

    Valerie

    Reply

  17. Karen
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 23:58:35

    This actually reads like a poem to me. It’s super creative, and I really enjoyed it.

    Reply

  18. joannerambling
    Aug 01, 2013 @ 00:45:57

    I have times like this……………in fact this could have been me writing this just not as funny

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Aug 01, 2013 @ 16:02:57

      Was it funny? I was thinking more . . . sad and pathetic. But yes, I think we all go through it. I would just like to be coming out the other side now, please and thank you.

      Reply

  19. rarasaur
    Aug 01, 2013 @ 01:31:37

    Those moments of blinking are like a million words all at once. I totally “got” this. Awesome job. 🙂

    Reply

  20. Vanessa-Jane Chapman
    Aug 01, 2013 @ 02:50:11

    There are times when we have so many ideas of what to write about, our minds are full of them, we have notebooks full of them, and we think “This is great! I will never again run out of ideas of what to write about!” and then other times we sink into the vacant pit of writing despair you described, and wonder if we’ll ever get out. But we do. And you will.

    Reply

  21. weezafish
    Aug 01, 2013 @ 06:58:57

    That’s the best post you’ve ever written!! Okay, not really. But I do love it 🙂

    Reply

  22. nataliedeyoung
    Aug 01, 2013 @ 11:53:45

    Yes. Just write. 😉 Good advice!

    Reply

  23. Don't Quote Lily
    Aug 01, 2013 @ 13:20:27

    What a wonderful way to write about nothing! Seriously, nicely done! Ah, writer’s block…been there and… Actually wait, I’m STILL there. Stupid evil blinking cursor! But you’re so write…just have to write and eventually something will come out of it. 😀

    Reply

  24. Michelle Longo
    Aug 01, 2013 @ 15:31:04

    Hope you have your next big idea soon!

    Reply

  25. Linda Roy
    Aug 01, 2013 @ 17:56:21

    I LOVE this so hard. This is what I was experiencing last night as I tried to come up with something to write for the challenge grid and what I’ve been experiencing a lot more than I’d like of late. When I began my blog I had an ever growing list of ideas on my notepad to pick and choose from but now the ideas are fewer and the struggle to put them into prose form is even more daunting at times. You captured that feeling so perfectly. Bravo!

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Aug 13, 2013 @ 14:53:36

      Thank you so much! I think we’ve all been there. Although I’m truly fascinated by people who say they have/had notebooks full of ideas! I’ve never had anything like that and have always felt like I was struggling week to week to come up with topics. (Sorry for the super late response!).

      Reply

  26. Emma
    Aug 05, 2013 @ 14:40:00

    Been there. Laughed hard reading it.

    Reply

  27. about100percent
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 12:26:17

    Really, really good. Isn’t it nice to know that even the blinking nothingness can turn into a whole lot of something that relates to so many? I think you’ve struck a chord here.

    Reply

    • mistyslaws
      Aug 13, 2013 @ 14:55:02

      Thanks so much! Yeah, I know I’m not the only one. And the more I stared at that damn blank page, the more I was thinking about what was going on in my head. A whole lot of nothing! 😉

      Reply

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