C is for . . .

C is for . . .

Caring.  There could not be a more loving and doting grandfather than my kids’ Pop.  Always there with a hug or a silly joke, he has been there for them their entire lives.

C is for . . .

Cohabitation.  Staying in our in-law suite in the basement, he’s lived with us for many years.  He is there any time we need any extra help with the kids or the house.  He is a constant presence in our lives.

C is for . . .

Candy.  His great grandkids don’t call him “M&M Pop” for nothing.

C is for . . .

Carrying on.  He still signs every birthday and Christmas card with “Love, Pop & Mom-Mom” even though his wife passed almost 2 years ago.  He loves and misses her every day.

C is for . . .

Coughing.  He just can’t seem to shake this nagging cough.  And he can’t sleep through the night.

C is for . . .

Checking in.  He goes to the hospital to finally get it looked at.  They admit him and run some tests.  The x-ray finds a nodule on his lungs.  We wait for further testing as to its nature.

C is for . . .

Certainty.  The doctor tells him the results.  He says he’s 100 percent sure of what it is.

C is for . . .

Calling.  I find out in the grocery store when my husband calls to inform me of the news about his father.

C is for . . .

Crying.  I hold back the tears until after I hang up with my husband.  It is my job to stay strong for him.  I am very good at my job.

C is for . . .

Concern.  How will we tell the boys?  What will their reaction be?  How will they deal with yet another difficult time, in their short lives already so full of tragic moments?

C is for . . .

Coming home.  Released from the hospital today, he will return home while waiting for more test results.  He and the doctors will have to decide what they want to do depending on what those tests say.  He is 80 years old.  This must be taken into account.

C is for . . .

Crap.  This is really hard.  And I can’t seem to stop random tears from falling.

C is for . . .

Can’t.  I can’t believe it.  I can’t talk about it.  I can’t be funny.  I just can’t even say the word.  That big, scary, deadly word.

C is for . . . . . . . . . . . .

—————————————————————————————————————————

challenge121

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43 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Abby
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 20:18:30

    I’m so sorry, my friend. C is for…compassion and comfort. I hope you find both of these things.

    Reply

  2. The Cotton Floozy
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 20:19:08

    Nooooo. I am so sorry, Misty.

    Reply

  3. renée a. schuls-jacobson
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 20:21:06

    Misty! No way! Say this is fiction. Or at least say it’s treatable! I’m crossing my fingers and hoping for the best for your Pop. (((Hugs)))

    Reply

  4. Claire
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 20:53:03

    No words. Tears and hugs
    Sending you all light and love and positive vibes xo

    Reply

  5. Hippie Cahier
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 20:53:53

    I’m sorry, Misty. Take good care of you while you take care of everyone else. Peace.

    Reply

  6. donofalltrades
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 21:11:51

    Pfffffffft to the C word! Sorry to hear this! He’s your paw too though, so you cry all you need to! Your husband will understand and love you even more for loving his father as your own. Or something like that.

    Reply

  7. She's a Maineiac
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 21:13:54

    I’m so sorry, Misty. I wish you strength, peace and love during this time.

    Reply

  8. Andrea @ Maybe It's Just Me
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 22:09:31

    xoxox ❤

    Reply

  9. joannerambling
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 22:14:48

    Oh no…………this took me back to when I was told my dad had lung cancer, so I feel your pain, fingers crossed all will turn out ok for him and you, all you can do is take it one day at a time

    Reply

  10. icescreammama
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 22:18:01

    oh… so so sad and sorry.

    Reply

  11. mamarific
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 23:14:28

    I hate this for you. He sounds like a wonderful man and Pop to your kids. Sending good thoughts your way.

    Reply

  12. kirsten oliphant (@kikimojo)
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 23:32:11

    Oh, so so sad. This is never easy. I’m so sorry, but loved the way you put your pain into words.

    Reply

  13. dorothyadele
    Aug 07, 2013 @ 23:35:16

    Very sorry

    Reply

  14. consciouscacophony
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 00:26:29

    This is written in such a unique and beautiful way. I’m so sorry about Pop.

    Reply

  15. Brie E
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 01:06:26

    This was really nifty- I liked the way you wrote it, even if my heart breaks for you and the challenge you and yours face.

    Reply

  16. Bluzdude
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 07:36:36

    We’re with you, my friend. Let me know if you need any Lunch Therapy.

    Reply

  17. Jim Miyamoto
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 08:10:26

    No words. Hope you have some time and space where you don’t have to be strong, and some people you can lean on

    Reply

  18. PinotNinja
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 08:30:51

    I’m so sorry, and all of my thoughts and hopes are with you and your family right now. C is for the community that will be here for you whenever and however you need us.

    Reply

  19. thoughtsappear
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 08:37:29

    M&M Pop—That’s a great nickname.

    Misty, I’m so sorry. If you need key lime pie martinis (or anything else), let me know.

    Reply

  20. weezafish
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 10:02:38

    C stands for another word too, that’s very rude and my Britishness prevents me from saying it even though times like this call for it. I am so sorry. So, so sorry Misty. Pops sounds awesome and whatever happens next for the dear fella, I’m sure he’ll be happy that he has you guys. Thinking of you. Hoping to hear good news back from his tests xx

    Reply

  21. Rosie
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 10:11:12

    I hope it can take your mind off the bad thing, if I say “C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me. C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me. C is for cookie that’s good enough for me. Oh, cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C.”

    Reply

  22. brickhousechick
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 10:14:22

    Thinking of you and your family. 😦

    Reply

  23. Karen
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 11:27:44

    This is such a sweet and heart-breaking post. For some reason, I was really touched by the way he still includes his wife in the birthday and Christmas cards.

    Reply

  24. Don't Quote Lily
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 14:48:23

    I’m so sorry Misty. Big hug. Sending positive thoughts your way.

    Reply

  25. pegoleg
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 15:38:25

    Oh Misty, I’m so sorry. Praying for the best of outcomes for your dear father-in-law and the whole family.
    (and you probably could give a crap about such things right now, but wanted you to know, this was so well written.)

    Reply

  26. Nelson - One Old Sage
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 16:17:16

    Well written Misty. C is also for coping. I hope you and your family cope well.

    Reply

  27. sarah9188
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 18:19:40

    I’ve heard that awful c word before from loved ones, and it never loses its sting. Many hugs and prayers, dear one, for all of you.

    Reply

  28. Maggi Shelbourn
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 19:29:09

    So sorry Misty. Sending hugs and saying prayers for you and your family. 😦

    Reply

  29. Linda Roy
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 20:00:30

    I’m so sorry Misty. We have experienced the c word in our lives as well and it just needs to go away forever. Sending you hugs and good thoughts.

    Reply

  30. Valentine Logar
    Aug 09, 2013 @ 07:59:08

    I am so sorry, it isn’t enough right now the compassion we feel for you, your family and your father-in-law. Remember to take care of yourself so you can take care of him and other you love.

    Reply

  31. 50Peach (@50peach)
    Aug 09, 2013 @ 08:41:04

    Brutal. Sending you the cs of compassion and comfort. Hang in there.

    Reply

  32. From Novels to Board Books
    Aug 09, 2013 @ 10:44:06

    Oh, this is so sad. I’m sending warm thoughts your way…

    Reply

  33. cynkingfeeling
    Aug 09, 2013 @ 15:16:51

    I’m sorry to hear about this, but I liked the way you put this story together.

    Reply

  34. thesinglecell
    Aug 10, 2013 @ 16:05:42

    I’m so sorry about your father-in-law. The way you hurt for your husband and your children is one of the best blessings and worst curses in life. You have loved, and that means you have succeeded. Given your list, so has he. Warm thoughts are with you.

    Reply

  35. Trackback: I Hate You! | Misty's Laws
  36. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd
    Aug 12, 2013 @ 13:14:37

    I’m so sorry, Misty.

    Reply

  37. bschooled
    Aug 12, 2013 @ 21:13:14

    I read this earlier, but couldn’t reply from my phone. I’m so sorry, Misty. I’ve been through it myself, it’s a shitty, shitty deal and nobody can truly know how you feel or completely relate because everyone’s experience/relationships are different. My thoughts are with you and your family. xoxo

    Reply

  38. about100percent
    Aug 12, 2013 @ 22:01:00

    I’m so sorry to read this. It is beautiful and so sad. Love to you and your family.

    Reply

  39. Jess Witkins
    Aug 12, 2013 @ 22:08:37

    Misty, I’m so sorry. I wish I could hug you because I know you’re trying to keep it together for all your men. I’m sending you my support, courage, and calm during this time. I’m thinking of you.

    Reply

  40. mistyslaws
    Aug 13, 2013 @ 15:24:55

    Thank you to all of you who commented and reached out with your kind words of caring and concern. It really means so much. It was very hard to write this post, but I had to get it out, and this is what spilled out. The good news is that he’s home from the hospital and has some more tests scheduled, but he is in better spirits than I’ve ever seen him. Seriously, he is a cranky and crochety old man who usually thinks the sky is falling, but he is handling this with aplomb. We’re waiting to see what the docs think the next step should be. Please continue to keep him in your thoughts, if you wouldn’t mind. Thanks so much.

    Reply

  41. Jennifer June Clark
    Aug 17, 2013 @ 15:31:32

    I’m so very sorry the Evil C knocked at the door. Fingers are crossed for your family here in California.

    Reply

  42. JM Randolph
    Aug 18, 2013 @ 21:21:37

    Oh, love. I’m sorry, Misty.

    Reply

  43. Trackback: Time to Say Goodbye | Misty's Laws

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