A Comedy of Tragedies

As I have fully elucidated previously, I am going through a bit of a rough time.  I’m a strong bitch, though, so I’m weathering it.  It hasn’t broken me quite yet, so here I am, blogging away for your amusement.  You lucky peeps.

However, when it rains it pours, and apparently my life is caught in a monsoon right now.  And while the additional water damage has resulted mostly from quick and inconsequential showers, it nevertheless is an annoyance and calls for an umbrella. 

For example, while my kids were away for a week with their grandparents a few weeks ago, I decided that would give me a perfect opportunity to do some cleaning and organizing that had been waiting for my attention for way too long.  So, I set my focus upon the cabinet under the sink in my bathroom.  When I first moved into my house around six years ago, this under the sink cabinet was organized with baskets and the well thought out placement of toiletry necessities.  Since then, it has become a hodge podge of precariously towering items that have landed there after my careless tossing of said item into the cabinets, and then swiftly closing the doors so as not to witness the toppling of said piles of junk.  So, basically what I am saying is that this area has not had a good cleaning and/or organizing in many years and it was way overdue. 

As I began to pull out the massive amounts of accumulated stuff from the cabinet, I finally unearthed the original baskets that were buried under all of this product.  It was when I had finally removed the baskets and everything else from under the sink that I realized I had a big problem.  This:

Picture 10400

I realized that I had apparently had a leak at some point in the past however many years, and because there was so much junk, I never realized it.  And during all those sweet days of ignorance, the water had been creating little mildew babies who had grown into huge adult sized spores of unhealthy disgustingness.  So, I immediately sent my hubs to the store for massive bleach type cleaning products and some paint, thinking I could scrub it down and then hopefully paint over it.  But alas, that was not to be.  It was relatively thin plywood, and it was soaked in.  There would be no scrubbing it off.  Additionally, the damage was on the back wall as well, so there was nothing much to be done.  We were going to need to call our home improvement guy (yes, we have a guy), to come over and see if he could replace the plywood.

And, I imagine that you can guess what the answer to that was, based on my current record of receiving good news.  Yeah, the answer was no.  They were going to have to replace the entire thing.  Which was going to cost beaucoup cash.  Cash which we did not have.  So, I got used to having all of the stuff under my cabinet in the middle of the floor in my bedroom.  But it was a pain in the ass.  Finally, after many weeks of this, I told my husband that he needed to call the guy, because it was getting on my damn nerves and just needed to be fixed.  We’d figure out a way to pay.  So, the next day, I came home to this:

Picture 10819

Hmmm, I feel like something’s missing here . . .

Yes, they took the WHOLE SINK.  I was not prepared for that.  So, now I am not only without a cabinet to use, but I have no sink.  And I’m told it was sent to “la la land” (quoth the hubs), to get it custom redesigned to fit in the space.  Who knew a sink was so much trouble?  Well, now you do.

And, along with this wonderful annoyance, there came another very itchy one . . . this:

Picture 10814

My hand and wrist broke out in some sort of mystery rash.  It only went from my thumb down to where my watch was when whatever I touched came into contact with my hand.  I have no idea what I am allergic to that caused this, as my well known allergen of pine (Christmas tree decorating is a joy!), was nowhere to be seen on these summer days.  I wasn’t too concerned until about 2 days later when it started itching like crazy and then a few days after that, it looks like this:

Picture 10899

Yep, over a week and there are still angry little red dots.  At this point it has stopped itching, but I’m fearful it will scar.  I look like I have leprosy.  Fun times.

Oh, but I’m not done yet.  The most annoying event to occur was this past Monday.  Apparently, when I went to bed on Sunday night, I didn’t feel the need to change the time on my alarm to a work appropriate wake up time.  Nope, it was still set to weekend time.  That would be 7:45, by the way.  So, on Monday morning, instead of the alarm waking me at the ungodly hour of 5:00 (and then smacking the bejesus out of that sucker about 12 times before I got up), to give me enough time to get ready for work and then drive the hour it takes to get there . . . yeah, you see where this is going.

So, here’s a little math problem for you.  Solve for X:  If attorney has to be in court by 9:00, has an hour-long drive from point A (home) to point B (work), and awakens from an apparently very restful sleep at 7:45 . . . X = which normal preparatory activities did attorney not have time to do before leaving her house.

Here’s a visual clue:

Picture 10902

I assure you, I AM making a duckface.

Now, for you male readers out there that are like, “what?  I don’t get it.  What’s the big deal?”  Lemme ‘splain . . . that is my hair pulled back in a quick and messy ponytail bun.  Which I wore . . . to court.  I do not wear ponytail buns to court.  It is not pretty, nor is it professional.  In fact, I don’t wear my hair back at all, like this or any other way, to work ever.  Once again, I find it unprofessional.  For someone else, they might think it’s no big deal, but I do not feel that way.  To give you a point of reference, every single person that I saw today asked me if I was ok or if there was something wrong.  So, this is very out of the norm for me.  It was not one of my better days.

I’m thinking . . . things can only go up from here, right?  Right?  HELLO??  (Knocks furiously on any wood surface available!).

62 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Abby
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 09:26:15

    Isn’t that so true? When it rains, it shit storms, and usually I’m left without an umbrella (although if I had one, I would most likely just use it to beat people over the head.) All you can do is hope for at least one thing to get a bit better and be grateful when that one thing hopefully does. And if all else fails, crash on the couch with some wine and TV. At least a mental break can be had!


    • mistyslaws
      Sep 25, 2013 @ 11:22:52

      Yeah, some things got better and some shit continued to rain. I can never seem to get a sunny day. But yes, wine and TV helps. At least I can veg out for a few minutes each day.


  2. She's a Maineiac
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 09:31:44

    Well, at least they didn’t take your toilet too! Huh? Eh? Feel better yet? I’m terrible at cheering people up lately as I am also in the midst of a giant shitstorm, complete with messy hair buns. How about we both just look forward to the weekend?


  3. PigLove
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 09:34:11

    Oh my poor friend. Many hogs and snout kisses your way. You are having a time. It does seem that when it rains it POURS for DAYS. Mommy has been through those times here at the Hotel Thompson. Point in case – the roof that we had replaced not too long ago. Piggy shivers just me thinking about the stress she was under with that basket case of an ordeal. Hopefully SOON things will pass and get better for you. XOXO – Bacon


  4. The Cotton Floozy
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 10:06:36

    I lurv you and hope that you survive this clustercuss sans scrunchies and lung mold. And mystery rashes suck. Promise me that you won’t Google “rashes” right before you go to bed.


    • mistyslaws
      Sep 25, 2013 @ 11:28:04

      Oh crap. Too late. I already looked. And I might have prostate cancer!

      I’m still hanging in there, with a new sink in fact! So, things MIGHT be looking up. (I know I totally just cursed myself with that).


  5. pegoleg
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 10:12:06

    Don’t be so hard on yourself, Misty. I’m sure nobody noticed your messy pony/bun…they were distracted by your unwashed-because-of-no-sink body odor and the angry red rash crawling up your arm!

    Hang in there, kid. Tomorrow may not be any better, but it probably won’t be worse. (quote from my Eeyore Saying of The Day calendar.)


    • mistyslaws
      Sep 25, 2013 @ 11:29:56

      Oh Peg, always looking on the bright side. I can always depend on you to bring me just this much more into the muck. :p

      Not getting any worse. Hmmm, we’ll see about that.


  6. thoughtsappear
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 10:17:53

    Sink, rash, and oversleeping—those were your 3 things. You’re good now.


    • mistyslaws
      Sep 25, 2013 @ 11:30:56

      Right? It happens in 3’s right?

      Except, I may have started a new 3, so I just can’t WAIT to see what the final 2 are. 😦 Maybe no red velvet funnel cake can be considered one? Please?


  7. Nagzilla
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 11:07:51

    Hang in there. I’m with Thoughtsy- bad things come in threes, so you’re due for something awesome.


  8. Hippie Cahier
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 11:25:48

    Are you going to love it? Or list it? Vis a vis the coif, I’m off to check ATL to see if there’s an article about the judge kicking you out for a pony/bun. . . .


  9. Don't Quote Lily
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 12:55:23

    Oh jeez. I don’t know why problems are attracted to other problems, therefore causing a shit-storm of problems. I hope things truly do go up from here. Sending positive thoughts your way!


  10. bluzdude
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 12:56:21

    I was going to offer to take you to lunch, but now, I don’t think I want to be in the same area code, lest I also contract your toxic, leaping death scabies, and general bad luck to boot.


  11. Andrea @ Maybe It's Just Me
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 13:00:51

    Awwww…I bet the mildew babies were cute, so sorry we didn’t get to see them as their older selves are quite unattractive! I don’t think I want to know why you have a 7:45 alarm for the weekends, so I will just say I am sorry, but then again it is almost three hours of sleeping in I guess.


    • mistyslaws
      Sep 25, 2013 @ 11:43:42

      I had to get up for some reason I cannot remember now. I have no need to see the adults, thank you. The babies weren’t particularly cute either.

      Oh, and the fruit flies are back. The hits just keep coming . . .


  12. Fresh Ginger
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 13:52:17

    Get a nice latte or whatever/chocolate/etc-related treat and enjoy 30 seconds of bliss. Then, keep trudging along … that’s my strategy anyway. And, P.S., I never wear my hair up at work either. At home–almost always. At work–nope. I agree on the ponytail in court opinion.


  13. Nicole
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 14:43:49

    Two of my friends just got done taking care of their mold. There’s went through the tub, to the tub underneath, then two more layers down. Mold is the worst!


  14. joeinvegas
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 16:42:36

    I question why you have to set an alarm on the weekends. Don’t those other members of the household determine when you get up? Or just sleep in if they don’t. That way you don’t have to remember to reset the alarm, just don’t turn it on weekends.


    • mistyslaws
      Sep 25, 2013 @ 11:47:36

      I usually don’t. I don’t remember what I was doing that I needed to. Therein lies the problem. I’m not used to needing to change it. Also, I’m dumb.


  15. Go Jules Go
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 17:02:54

    And what’s the main lesson we learned here? When the urge to organize/clean strikes, RUN!

    I’m sorry things have been so bun-tastic (in the worst way).


    • mistyslaws
      Sep 25, 2013 @ 11:48:20

      I can usually resist any inkling of an urge, but lately I’ve been on a kick. And no, I’m not nesting. But it’s finally back in order and looks glorious!


  16. red
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 21:51:21

    Might you have an unknown allergy to mildew?
    I feel for you. I really do. …actually I’m lying. I can’t oversleep even when I try (a source of great amusement to Brett), so I have no idea of your pain. I’m sorry for it, though!


    • mistyslaws
      Sep 25, 2013 @ 11:52:36

      I love sleep like no other. I’m surprised it wasn’t noon!

      No, it’s not the mildew. At least I don’t think. While they happened around the same time, they aren’t linked as far as I can tell. It was far enough away that it must be something else. It is a mystery still.


  17. PinotNinja
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 23:06:16

    That rash is clearly due to mildew and sink induced stress. Dr. PinotNinja proscribes a bottle of wine and a trip to the spa, and you can’t violate doctor’s orders.

    As for the bun, you are totally fine. I almost always wear my mop of curly hair in a tight, low bun at the nape of my neck when I go into court and no one has kicked me out yet. They even let me win cases sometimes. Cut yourself some slack and don’t stress out if your hair is tucked away sometimes — lady justice is supposed to be blind, right?


    • mistyslaws
      Sep 25, 2013 @ 11:54:16

      Well, lady justice may be blind, but my colleagues sadly are not. For some people, that look is just fine. But not for me. Did I neglect to mention I was also without shower that morning? I figured that was obvious, but I didn’t specifically say it. Yeah, so I was sexy.

      Bottle of wine and spa. Can I get a doctor’s note for that, doc? 😉


  18. joannerambling
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 23:13:50

    The rash didn’t look good, but the when does a rash look good, only in the eyes of weirdos but how often do we show our rash to a weirdo……………lol

    I have never had my hair in a bun, not even when I had long hair and once apond a time I did have long hair, ok it was 30yrs ago but still I did have it once…………


  19. Jennifer June Clark
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 23:54:38

    Sorry the bad fairies are making life difficult, m’dear. May I suggest cortizone for the rash, a stiff drink for stress and an attractive yet discrete hair clip for emergencies. Try searching on Etsy. You may also want to leave some bread and milk on the back step to appease the brownies. Clearly, you have offended them somehow.


  20. The Cutter
    Sep 11, 2013 @ 08:51:07

    I guess I’m just too male to understand, but I don’t think a ponytail bun is bad.


  21. about100percent
    Sep 11, 2013 @ 14:07:24

    So did you find out what caused the rash? More importantly, did you have a white sequined glove to cover it up while in court? Paired with the ponytail bun, you’d have been perfect for Fashion Week.

    Sending good thoughts for a short turnaround time for both your sink and the rash.


  22. cynkingfeeling
    Sep 11, 2013 @ 14:13:59

    It doesn’t seem right to “like” this post.


  23. jenniferjuneclark
    Sep 11, 2013 @ 17:48:16

    PS: I am now afraid to clean my closet. Thanks for that.


  24. Nelson - One Old Sage
    Sep 11, 2013 @ 19:43:11

    Life is such a bitch when it bites us. We went through very similar issues with our heat pump,car, itches, and illness in the last couple of months. Hang in there Misty. This too shall pass but hopefully not like a kidney stone.


  25. donofalltrades
    Sep 12, 2013 @ 12:27:37

    That’s a rough patch to be proud of! I’d have assumed that you were having your mensies were I to see your hair all unprofessional and what not like that!


  26. agirlwhogames
    Sep 12, 2013 @ 12:37:00

    …at least a bunch of people pay enough attention to you to notice that your hair wasn’t in it’s usual style and therefore something might be wrong, and cared enough to ask about it? I’m bad at silver linings.

    Here’s hoping the weather clears for you.


  27. Valentine Logar
    Sep 12, 2013 @ 15:54:58

    Think, this is life preparing you for something wonderful. That is it.


  28. The Samantha Scriptures
    Sep 12, 2013 @ 19:39:04

    The next time my mother comes over and asks me why my house is a stye, I will direct her to this post.


  29. brickhousechick
    Sep 16, 2013 @ 23:41:15

    Just coming back from a mini vacay. Ay! You poor thing! I hope the rest of the week went ok! Did you ever find out about the rash? The bleach?


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