“Hey, do you want to go to a movie tonight?” I said early Saturday morning to my husband, as we were about to leave for my son’s flag football game. “We don’t have anything planned for later this evening and haven’t gone out in forever. Maybe we can even stop at the casino afterwards for a bit.”
“Sure, why not?” he responded.
So, I set up childcare for that evening (easy when you have a live in au pair who apparently feels guilty that she gets to sleep all day while my kids are at school, and offers to watch them on the weekend all the time, only to be finally taken up on that offer this night), and looked for movies that were playing.
After the game, while sitting at lunch with the kids at Panera, the hubs and I reviewed the movie options and settled on American Hustle, since it had received good reviews and been nominated for a bunch of awards. It had been so long since we had seen a movie that didn’t have animated characters singing about letting things go, that we were really looking forward to a nice adult film. Not like that! Head out of the gutter, stay with me here folks . . .
Later that evening, once all of the errands were run, and the kids’ hairs were properly shorn, and a few more Christmas boxes were relocated from the living room floor to the storage room (don’t judge), we set off for our big night out! I had earlier asked the hubs if he wanted to do dinner as well, but he declined. I didn’t challenge it because we were both dieting and had been eating like crap lately. Instead, we just got some bottles of water and a big bag of popcorn at the movie theater. The movie, as is the norm it seems, started after 25 minutes of previews, none of them particularly noteworthy. But then, once the movie finally started, we settled in for some fine quality entertainment.
Eight hours later, it seemed, I looked at my watch and realized we were only an hour and a half in. Fifteen minutes later I looked again, thinking that it must be morning by now at least. I leaned over to the hubs and asked, “is this the longest movie ever made, or is it just me?” “It’s not just you,” he responded. “Plus, I really have to pee!”
What seemed like a week and a half later, the movie ended and we walked out of the theater having aged a few years and gained a couple hundred extra grey hairs. Rather than go to the casino, as we had planned, we were ready to go home and go to bed, even though it was only ten o’clock at night. As we left the building and walked to the car, the hubs asked me if I liked the movie.
“NO! I did not! Damn it.” He just laughed. I don’t think either of us really had to ask that question of the other.
Rather than limping home disappointed, we decided to rally and go over to the local casino. We didn’t have a lot of cash, but the last couple times we had visited this very same venue, we had walked away with more than we brought, so we were hoping our luck would be the same.
It was not. Every machine we played sucked down our money like a greedy toddler being handed cotton candy. Slurp, munch, giggle. It was brutal. We jumped around, trying to find something that would at the very least let us play a little, but luck was definitely not in our favor that evening. So, we decided to quit while we were ahead. And by ahead, I mean behind and broke.
As we were leaving, we realized that we were both very hungry. Splitting a bag of popcorn 3 hours earlier apparently didn’t sustain us for the night. Rather than wait until we got home, we decided to drive around to see if anything was open so we could grab some food. Nothing was. Except, that is, a 24 hour Safeway. Figuring they would have some pre-made sandwiches that we could quickly grab, we decided to give it a shot.
And they did have lots of pre-made sandwiches for us to choice from, so that was good. The hubs grabbed a buffalo chicken wrap and I got a turkey and cheese sandwich on a roll. When we got in the car and unwrapped our finds, I realized that mine had one tiny piece of turkey and a slice of american cheese within the large roll, and the hubs realized that his was pretty much inedible. He took about 3 bites before he put it down and started making blech hrrrk blech noises, indicating that is really tasted horrible, while I actually ate most of my bread sandwich. It was a pretty pathetic end to an otherwise disappointing night.
So, as you can see, we party like rock stars. Anyone want to do a double date next week?