I recently discovered that a local bookstore is being compelled to close its doors because it’s not getting enough business to stay open. I have walked past this bookstore a bajillionty times, as it is directly across the street from my courthouse, but until last week, I had never once previously gone inside. And I am deeply ashamed of this fact. I am the reason that this store is closing.
And yes, while it is not only my fault, as my sole patronage probably would not have prevented the store’s going out of business, it is me and people like me that caused this to happen. You see, I love books. Even in the age of all things electronic, whether it be a Kindle, a Nook or an iPad, I still prefer reading actual books to any other mode of viewing literature. I love the feel of a book, the smell of the pages, the heft of the bound papers in my hand.
There is a local used book store near my home that I visit every couple of months, perusing their rows and rows of used novels, in the attempt to find an as yet undiscovered gem. I will also take the books I have finished reading to this shop to trade them in for more books. But my true transgression is this . . . I buy most of my books from Amazon. So, you see, I am part of the problem which has developed in this generation of electronic ease and convenience. Because, even though I still prefer my books the old-fashioned way, I will much more readily click online to order, rather than visit a local brick and mortar shop. And this is why so many of these little shops are closing down.
So, in the spirit of too little, too late, I paid a much delayed visit to this closing book store. It may or may not have had anything to do with the fact that every book in the store was $3.00 or less. It was a lovely little store. Much bigger and deeper than I had imagined from the outside. On a table to the left of the entrance, there was a complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica books for sale. Huge, dusty tomes that will probably sit there until they are packed up by the owner with the remainder of the undesirable and unsellable books. What with Google and Wikipedia at the click of a mouse, who needs big, outdated books to tell you what you need to know? However, it was quite the trip to nostalgiaville seeing that entire set sitting there, since I grew up with a complete set on a bookcase in my own childhood home. It was where you would find me when research papers came due for grade school projects.
And speaking of old school . . . there was a shelf labelled “Vintage” filled with numerous Hardy Boys mysteries and even some Bobbsey twins. I did not see any Nancy Drew, as I imagine someone else probably snatched those up already.
In my search through this soon to be extinct shop, I was able to find a few books to purchase for myself. But along with those, I discovered another rare gem . . . and this week’s giveaway!!
When I saw this and started flipping through it in the store, it made me laugh. I knew that I had to get it and give it to one lucky reader. Preferably one that is of the appropriate age, per the book’s guidance (see that little print down in the lower left corner . . . go ahead, get your glasses . . . I’ll wait).
I am sure that you are curious as to what this book contains, as I was as well. Well, feast your eyes on just a sampling of the valuable queries in this book, enabling you to transcribe your own info for future reference. Basically, when you get too old to remember your name, you can have this handy mid-life guide!
Very helpful, indeed!
Now, before you go denying that you want this handy little helper of a book, don’t think that I am calling you old. No way, I would never do such a thing. What’s calling you old is your grey hairs, saggy boobs and receding hairlines. Take a gander in the mirror, my friends, before you start throwing the pitch forks around this way, k? Sheesh!!
So, who wants it? Anyone, anyone? Hello?
Hmmm . . . I’ll be curious to see how this goes. If you do indeed want it, this is what you shall do . . . comment on how you first realized you were old. Was it a physical thing (grey hair, wrinkles, etc.)? Was it a failing ability (poor sight, bad hearing, etc.)? Was it some young punk kid calling you “ma’am?” (Damn kids these days, grumble grumble). Or was it something else? Go ahead, fess up. It’s happened to all of us!
And just to be fair, I will throw in another little treat as well, so it’s not just the book. I haven’t decided what it will be yet, but it will be fun. Probably not Metamucil. I mean, unless that’s something you’re needing right now, because if so, I’ve got you covered!!
This is your last reminder . . . if you haven’t already gone over to Noa’s Funny Bitch All-Star page to vote for yours truly (about halfway down the list) . . . what are you waiting for??? I would be ever so grateful if you were to do so. This will be my last post for a while, as I am leaving for Disney with the fam oh so very early Saturday morning and will not return for a full week. It would be just delightful to see that I made the All-Stars’ list prior to my departure. PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN!! Thanks, all! See ya on the flip side.