Return of the Mack…..it is
Return of the Mack…..come on
Return of the Mack…..oh my God
You know that I’ll be back……here I am
Here I am! Yep, that’s right, I’m back. I know you have been desperately and anxiously awaiting my return from vacation. Sitting at your computer . . . repetitively refreshing your browser in hopes that I had posted a new blog entry. Not eating, sleeping, peeing . . . so afraid if you left your vigil of staring at your screen, that you might miss that first moment of my return and the greatly anticipated brilliance I was sure to spew into the interwebs. But fear not, loyal reader . . . you may return to living your life fully now! I am back. You may finally rest. Go on and get yourself a sandwich. You are looking a little peaked. I wouldn’t want you passing out. I mean, you have to stay conscious so you can finish reading this work of art.
Wait . . . what was that? You didn’t miss me at all? In fact, you never even realized I was gone? You’ve just been going along with your life all blithely and unaware of my absence in your world? Oh man. Well, this is awkward. I thought we really had something special. But I guess I was just a notch in your bed post, huh? Fine then. Be that way.
Anyway . . . whether you missed me or not, I am indeed back. At least for a few days until I run off again for a fabulous holiday in New York for BlogHer. But for now, let me tell you about my most recent fun filled vacation. Or at least . . . the start of it.
It all began on a Friday afternoon. My hubs had whisked my boys off to the beach the day prior, and they were waiting for me to join them at the end of the week once I finished my full and interminable work week. So 4:00 rolls around and I jet out of that hateful place. Aaaaannnnddd it’s raining. Boo. That is a non-auspicious start to my pending 3 hour drive. But no matter. Drive I must. And before that happens . . . I must fill up with gas and snacks for my trip.
Once I am sufficiently replenished with all types of fuel, I get onto the highway . . . and immediately encounter this:
Great. Friday afternoon rush hour traffic + slick rainy roads = ridiculous traffic. Well, hopefully it will clear up once I finally make it out of the city. But until then, I get to see this:
Hmmm, meeting my family for a lovely seafood dinner on the water at 7:00 as previously planned is not looking likely. Bummer.
And it’s not like I wasn’t expecting any traffic on a Friday afternoon driving to the beach. Usually, it gets a bit congested around Annapolis and right before the Bay Bridge, but once you get past the bridge, it is pretty much all gravy. But unfortunately, I was nowhere near the bridge and was encountering this:
This. This is not your normal traffic. This is a problem. This means I’ve only gone about 20 miles but have been in my car for over an hour. And I am not moving. It also means that those Cheddar & Sour Cream Chips that were supposed to be one of my snacks for the trip had no chance of survival and are already completely gone. And those cookies aren’t looking like they’re gonna make it very long either. Poor delicious cookies.
After inching along slowly, slowly, slowly . . . I finally came upon Annapolis. And saw this:
That right there? Not good. Not good at all. This is more than just traffic. This has got to be some sort of massive accident. Because I have never seen traffic this bad going to the beach. And I’ve sat in plenty of traffic. But this is ridiculousness, is what it is.
After inching along little by little, I finally finally reach the bridge. Or at least the toll right before the bridge:
Grrrrr. I later found out that there was indeed an accident that occurred on the bridge and that is why traffic was backed up so far and so horribly. So I now just had to make it past the bridge. Just get me on that bridge, dammit!!
There it is. There is that wonderfully elusive bridge. Finally! I’ve only been in my car now for an hour and a half and have consumed an entire bag of chips, half a container of chocolate chip cookies and most of my water. Being on this bridge was like finally reaching Narnia. Or Terabithia. Or something. I don’t know, but it was really good.
Once I journeyed past the bridge, the road indeed did open up and the trip was smooth and easy from then on. Thankfully. It still took over 4 hours to drive what should have been a little over 2 and a half hours without traffic. I estimated it would take me about 3 hours. I underestimated, obviously. Finally, though, I made it to the ocean and was able to see that beautiful view that I waited for hours to see:
And even though I wasn’t able to make it in time to go to the restaurant overlooking the bay that we had planned, the hubs decided to take the boys mini-golfing while I was struggling to get to them, and they finished up right before I got there, so I was able to have dinner with my family after all. And the first order of business, once I finally peeled myself out of my car, was to order a much needed and much deserved cocktail.
Ahhhhh. Let the vacation begin! Now life is good. Just don’t make me get back into that car for a while, deal?